UK Man accidentally cuts off own penis

A 54-year-old carpenter in Wantage, England, accidentally cut off his own penis while working with a saw, his mother says. We suspect he’s been on the NHS vasectomy waiting list for a couple of decades and finally decided to take matters into his own hands. Unless he’s simply the Barack Obama of carpentry.

Bonfire of the Absurdities: After 35 year career writing software for IBM mainframes, am now self-employed contractor thinking of joining a union and striking for higher wages. Cured morbid fear of heights when I learned to look at them as lengths standing on end. Uncompromising in refusal to accept browser cookies. Amateur investor who has accumulated a small fortune in the market after starting out years ago with a large one. For recreation, I run, hike, kayak and play tennis but will not consider synchronized swimming under any circumstances.

View Comments (11)

  • I'm not the best carpenter in the world. I do however know to keep my penis away from a friggin power saw. For that matter any type of power tool.

    His mother must be so proud of her boy. John Bobbit can now rest easier; there is a bigger fool in the world besides him. At least John was passed out when his ex literally wacked his off.

  • I watched a man drill himself in the kahoonas one time. He was warned to point the drill in another direction but I think he thought I said to point the drill toward his erection. Funny as hell. Made my day. I watched a guy cut 4 fingers off his hand on a table saw too. It wasn't pretty. He was warned to lower the blade and he didn't do it. Remember powertools win when competing with stupid.

  • "I have spoken to him and he is quite embarrassed about the whole incident," Keen's mother told the Telegraph.

    You think he's embarrassed now, wait til he reads all these quotes from his freaking Mother in the NEWSPAPER!

  • What was the guy doing in the bathroom with his dinky hanging out and a saw in hand? Sounds kind of kinky to me.