Al Gore: Anthropogenic Global Warming is Now Increasing Temperatures on the Sun “We all know that the planet has a fever. But now it turns out that it is far worse than we could ever have imagined. This fever is contagious. It has traversed the great darkness of space. It has traveled the unfathomable distance of 450 miles to settle on the surface of sun. It has now infected earth’s nearest neighbor. And if we don’t do something within ten years all of the sun’s solar ice caps will have melted and she will no longer be able to sustain the myriads of plant and animal lives that make the region so vitally important to our fragile cosmic ecosystem.”. So began former vice president Albert Gore Jr. in his address to the NYC chapter of the environmental action group People Establishing Nature In Society. The famously eloquent statesmen kept the audience in rapt attention for nearly three hours with an outlining of his solar warming theories, readings of his environmental poetry and heartwarming anecdotes about servants being made to wait in the car so that he could eat his dinner without the unsettling distraction of poor people.
During the QA session, however, it was clear that the sun wasn’t the only place heating up. An unknown individual challenged Gore. “The sun already has a surface temperature running into the millions of degrees. It doesn’t have ice caps nor does it serve as a habitat for any plants or animals.”. At this point member’s of Gore’s security firm tazed the man and removed him from the auditorium.
Gore remained calm and assured his audience telling them: “Liar, Liar, pants on fire, you’re just a Global Warming Denier. Seriously folks, no plants on the sun? Maybe someone should ask that flat-earther where he thinks sun flowers come from.”.
The engagement ended on a positive note with an audience member asking Gore what could be done to combat solar warming. “I’m glad you asked that. As it turns out back when I was in college, after I’d invented the Internet but before I’d served as Jason Statham’s stunt double in Love Story, I created a device that can be used to solve this very dilemma. The problem is the only fuel suitable to power this device is one trillion dollars worth in tax payer subsidies. Fortunately for all of us President Obama is working on getting me these subsidies as we speak.
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Gore, Kerry, Obama, that last three democrat party presidential candidates. Who's more crass and delusional? It is so hard to tell. Each time you listen to one you say, "that's it, this one has got to be the most idiotic". Untli you hear some pompous statement from the next one and your mind changes again.
Gore should be institutionalized.
A prison is an institution, isn't it?
yeah but so's dc
It's certainly a nuthouse.
I was falling for it until this:
It has traveled the unfathomable distance of 450 miles to settle on the surface of sun.
450 miles?
Hey it isn't that far from the truth!
https://youtu.be/EnpdjXIZVro
Most of his predictions are off by more than this
Yes but. But. But. Flat earther!
ha ha ha ha ha
AlGore can't spell bazillion.
Al uses common whore math.
Ha! You made it on the frontpage at Bad Blue
Awesome! What is Bad Blue (I feel like I should know that)?
Ok found it. That is a cool site.
This means you hit the big time, so don't let it go to your head.. :)
I used to do a lot of parody stories for my personal website and sometimes they would get picked up and reposted. I'd always get a kick out of that. But the best one ever was the time I did a story (about the Air Force trying to clean up the oil BP mess in the Gulf of Mexico by having people with swiffer mops attached to their combat boots bungee jump from C-130's into the oil spill to try and soak it all up) that got reposted on some fishing website as actual news. That tickled me to no end.
I like this one but am worried you are giving Gore and the greens new ideas...
Ha, good point. We'll have to try and keep a lid on this!
Best April fools bit I have seen...
Thank you, much appreciated ! :)
Ha! I could totally see this!
Al also said that he was going to take a"fact finding" trip to the sun so he could gather more evidence. He was not worried about the heat because, in his words, "I'll go at night time."
Ha. You know, given what he has said in the past, that doesn't sound too far-fetched.
In addition to being one of the biggest "People Establishing Nature In Society," Algore is one huge in the "Association of Scientists Seeking Help Over Lowering Earth’s Seas."
A$$ deep, eh?
LOL.