Australian newspaper warns that Global Warming will shrink bread loaves. According to The Sydney Morning Herald, which apparently couldn’t find any real news to report, by 2050 the amount of carbon dioxide in the air will make bread dough rise less.
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I'm impressed! What is it that non-existent global warming can't do?
So this is a toast to climate clingers....????
Who cares? All the food companies have been shrinking the size of their products, in order to keep prices the same, for decades! 35 years from now, we'll be paying $1.39 for a slice of bread, instead of a loaf.
One slice. Heel on both sides!
Meanwhile...
horrible and evil things are happening all over the world...
They do realize that real greenhouses pump CO2 from power plants to raise th co2 levels and make things grow faster.... Not usually done with grains, but common with fruits.
Plus the irony of them adding a metric assload of CO2 to the environment to do the study is pretty funny.
"There are positives, and we're trying to accentuate those," he said.
For instance, yields increase by about 25 per cent, on average, under elevated carbon dioxide." -- Yeah, so the loaves are a little smaller but you get 5 of them instead of 4. Just start calling them "cakes" instead of bread. The Marie Antoinette solution. Problem solved :) and good luck getting the co2 level to 550 ppm. We should be so lucky.
These global warmers, always loafing around and coming up with wacky ideas. Then they wonder why almost everyone thinks they're heels.
You guys are to punny!
We try to sandwich a pun or two in between our serious endeavors.
No matter how you slice it, that's the truth.
At yeast we can enjoy poking fun since they have no proof.
C'mon, you all know it is about the dough.
We know but we restrain ourselves from battering the point to death.
Yeast eats sugar. Yeast produces carbon dioxide. Dough rises regardless.. I used to make beer. Yeast eats sugar, co2 is released and the entire fermentation tub is filled with co2 as oxygen is displaced through the bubble lock. But fermentation doesn't stop there. It continues until all the sugar is digested by the yeast.
I guess to produce the high co2 levels for their experiment they put the dough in a pressurized vessel to maintain those levels of the gas. Might that be why the dough failed to rise?
What it looks like to me is they didn't put enough yeast in one loaf so it came out smaller. I have done that before and your bread comes out like a brick instead of being a yummy loaf ready for the butter.
I'm going with the flashman, somebody is lying.
They usually measure Atmospheric CO2 levels in Parts Per Million, Yeast when active produces liters of the stuff, and if you were to put a balloon over a loaf of bread rising, it would inflate the balloon because the dough is permeable.
I do believe these guys were out smoking something during science class.
Almost forgot to add, if that was the case, you wont have any bubbles in your beer either come 2050.
Now if there were no bubbles in beer, we would be talking major panic. On the other hand, I'm 64 and I'll be dead by then, so I'll let my younger friends panic.
I don't care what they did. I'm not going to lose sleep worrying about my loaf of bread being a crumb or two smaller 35 years from now. If I'm still alive and have teeth to bite the bread, I'll be happy. Oh, and some butter to put on the bread. And maybe a dollop of jelly. And it wouldn't hurt to have a main dish to go with the bread. And something to drink. Preferably alcoholic. That's all I need to be happy. And maybe a good-looking woman to eat with. And it would be nice if she wanted sex. And even nicer if I still wanted sex. That's all I need. If the loaf of bread is a bit shorter? Who gives a shit. Given the accuracy of the average Global Warming prediction, the loaves will bigger, not smaller anyway.
You sound kinda needy .... In a high maintenance kind of way... ;)
That was my Steve Martin impression. "All I need is this. And this..."
Classic!
Well, I'm gonna go then. And I don't need any of this! I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything - except this (referring to an ashtray), this ashtray, and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need, too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this! The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure.
Well, what are you looking at? What do you think I am, some kind of a jerk or something? And this! And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair...I don't need one other thing, except my dog (the dog growled at him) I don't need my dog.
Nah, they probably just lied, or asked Bill Bye.
Yep.