Author: Bonfire of the Absurdities

Alveda King, Martin Luther King Jr.’s niece, says her late uncle would not condone the Occupy Wall St movement or ACORN’s voter fraud. Knocks Jesse Jackson for comparing OWS to the 60s civil rights movement, saying the latter “was founded on prayer, peace, nonviolence and order, whereas the Occupiers began their protests out of frustration.” Yeah, judge not by the physical attributes (or politics?) but by the content of character. Today, that would be considered raaaaacist talk.

National Climatic Data Center data shows that the contiguous USA has not warmed in the past decade, summers are cooler, winters are getting colder. Great, Al Gore’s mansion is safe from flooding for a little while longer.

Occupy Wall Street demonstrators have vowed they’re not leaving Zuccotti Park anytime soon, and their online agenda suggests they mean business — with events scheduled through Oct. 26, 2025. Yeah, they’ll be plenty employable with 14 years of sitting in a park under their belts. So it ain’t a total loss, maybe they can build a skyscraper out of their feces. We can almost guarantee if they’re still down there in 2025, they’ll likely be the only ones that are. If a nitwit bangs his drums in an empty city, does it make a sound? Who cares?

Duke Energy warns customers to not use EV charging stations after fire involving Siemens charger and a Chevy Volt. Investigators are not certain either the charger or the car is the cause of the fire, but they’re warning folks not to use similar Siemens chargers for the time being. EVs are truly cars for the well-to-do, not only because the price is a bit steep but the well-off are the only ones who can afford to do without their cars for a couple of weeks and have the money to replace the garage that the charger may have burned down. Nuance.

Petitioning the Obama Administration: We demand a vapid, condescending, meaningless, politically safe response to this petition. “…we demand that the White House immediately assign a junior staffer to compose a tame and vapid response to this petition, and never attempt to take any meaningful action on this or any other issue. We would also like a cookie.” At last, an expectation the Obama White House will be able to meet. The one before the cookie, we mean.

#occupy Burger King: bunch of noisy idiots ruin lunch for some of Oakland’s 99%. What are these half-wits protesting at Burger King, their failure to employ puppeteers at the condiment bar? Speaking truth to pickles? Memo to occu-tards: all the big money people eat at places with waiters where a meal costs as much as a BK employee’s day’s wages. If you’re gonna protest wealth and priviledge, at least choose the correct target. And by the way, as long as you’re here, use the effing bathroom instead of crapping the in street.

Chinese distance themselves from Eurozone bailout, saying Europeans are kinda lazy. Jin Liqun, head of China’s sovereign wealth fund: “I think if you look at the troubles which happened in European countries, this is purely because of the accumulated troubles of their worn out welfare societies. I think the labour laws are outdated – the labour laws induce sloth, indolence rather than hard working. The incentive system is totally out of whack.” Memo to Merkel and Sarkozy: the check is NOT in the mail. Occupy China?

#occupylavatory – St Paul’s staff have to clean up human waste INSIDE the cathedral as protestors “use it as a latrine.” Maybe their motto should be “The world is our toilet.” It appears that regardless of what they say (and however incoherent it is), the demand that seems to emerge most consistently from the various “occupations” is for a place to crap. If Michael Moore joins in, some city’s gonna be in deep s**t.

Senior officials of the North Korean secret police (NSA, National Security Agency) have been arrested for taking bribes to enable people to escape to China. Better let Jimmy Carter, Ted Turner, Michael Moore, Sean Penn et al know! Hey guys, you can all move to the world’s fairest, most benevolent and egalitarian people’s democracy now, there’s room! Dear Leader Kim Jong Il rocks, baby! Whoo, whoo!

UN nuclear watchdog to release report on activities this week; Iran has carried out experiments in the final, critical stage for developing nuclear weapons – weaponization. Memo to President Obama… Mission Accomplished! Your foreign policy worked as well as your economic policies have. FYI: 6/4/2008 Presidential candidate Barack Obama said on Wednesday Iran posed a serious threat in the Middle East and vowed to stop it from acquiring a nuclear weapon. But he said “acquiring” not “developing”.

Obama makes an appearance at Zuccotti Park. Funny, he’s looking more impressive and intelligent to us now that he ever has in the past. Must be that healthy diet Moochelle has got him on.

Thank you for signing the petition asking the Obama Administration to acknowledge an extraterrestrial presence here on Earth. Breaking news from whitehouse.gov: “The U.S. government has no evidence that any life exists outside our planet, or that an extraterrestrial presence has contacted or engaged any member of the human race.” Too busy for Solynda or Fast and Furious, but not for ETs. And truthfully, we thought that petition was asking the Obama Admin to acknowledge they are an extraterrestrial presence here on Earth.

Obama tweaked Sarkozy about his looks, Sarkozy and his country were not especially amused. Obama congratulated the Sarkozys on the birth of their daughter by saying “…I informed Nicolas on the way in that I am confident that Giulia inherited her mother’s looks rather than her father’s, which I think is an excellent thing.” Yeah, sounds like much ado about nothing, but if Bush had said something like this, the left and their media puppets would be calling him “moron” non-stop for the next 6 months.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus speaks out against against Keystone XL pipeline. “Denying the permit for a brutally stupid, money-grab like the Keystone XL pipeline is a no-brainer, right Mr. President?” Correct, all the no-brainers like JLD are against it, as well as being against jobs and lower energy costs. The Chinese are waiting, hoping Obama listens to you no-brainers so they can buy that oil. The real advantage the Chinese have over us is that they don’t have a Hollywood.

Fatty foods addictive as cocaine in growing body of science. Now that the politicians have nationalized health care, they need a lot more money to pay for the bureaucratic boondoggle they’ve spawned. Gee, if “science” can make the case fat and sugar are bad for “the public health” then folks will accept the gubbermint taxing the crap out of the stuff. It’s “justified” because “we” are paying for the junk-food addicts’ “health care”, you see. This needs to be kicked to the curb before it becomes another “global warming” con.

Occupy DC protesters try to storm Americans For Prosperity event. Yeah, well they just hate prosperity… and then they can’t understand why they’re unemployed. Duh.

“Michael and Me”: Moore, confronted by reporter over estimated personal $50 Million Fortune, responds “You Lie. Stop Lying.” When asked, Moore said, “I don’t have $50 million,” which may simply mean he has 49, 51 or some other number of millions. But when asked again, “Are you not part of the one percent?” he slyly evaded the question with, “Just don’t lie, OK?” Interesting.

“This is a very dangerous movement, and it’s ironic it’s happening under a president who promised to unify us,” Giuliani said. “Barack Obama owns the Occupy Wall Street movement, it would not have happened but for his class warfare.” We agree completely except for the “ironic” part. It’s not ironic, it’s… what’s the word we’re looking for? Oh, yeah, intentional.

Guy quit his full time NYC teaching job quit and took out $35K in loans to get a degree in puppetry. Now, the only job he can find is for half his former pay and no health insurance. His remedy? Occupy Wall St! The audacity of the dope. No jobs for master puppet makers? Has he tried Soros’s office?

Pelosi: Unemployment would be 15 percent were it not for us. It IS 15%, you jackass! The only reason the U3 (“official”) number is 9% is because so many folks have given up LOOKING for a job and are not deemed part of the “official” labor force. But if we use the U6 number which counts these people, the current rate is over 15%.

100 Detroit bus drivers refuse to drive routes after attack by teens. “Our drivers are scared, they’re scared for their lives. This has been an ongoing situation about security. …when one of my drivers was beat up by some teenagers down in the middle of Rosa Parks and it took the police almost 30 minutes to get there, in downtown Detroit.” Ignore what the GM propa-mercials say, Detroit ain’t back. This particular situation would improve if drivers carried weapons. Just sayin’.

NY Times: Months before MF Global crashed and burned, federal regulators attempted to restrain risky proprietary trading. But MF’s CEO, Jon Corzine, fought the changes and won. Well, he won then he lost, at least his employees and shareholders did (the 99%!) Federal regulators are like toothless watchdogs that run and hide when high-roller crooks growl “Don’t you know who I am?” And we need MORE gubbermint regs and enforcement people WHY? The ones we have are effing useless. Caveat emptor.

“60 Minutes” challenged Nancy Pelosi on her conflict of interest while Speaker and facilitating financial reform while being involved with credit card companies. Believe it or not, they actually DID ask her a tougher question than their usual “What makes you Democrats so wonderful?” And the Drainplug of the Swamp looks at times like all the botox is going to run out of her face before she babbles non-answers to a bunch of questions that weren’t asked. Somebody at CBS will be getting a phone call about this.

Obama-friendly GE building aircraft factory in right-to-work Alabama. Everyone outside the MSM surely recalls that Obama, Pelosi and their proxies at the NLRB are giving Boeing a hard time about building a factor in right-to-work South Carolina. Wonder what the difference is? Rumor has it that Obama has to be careful when sitting down or GE CEO Jeff Immelt will wind up with a broken nose.

AZ Gov. Jan Brewer: Eric Holder needs to be “held accountable” for Operation Fast and Furious. “At least 34 members of Congress have called for Holder to resign immediately over the scandal.” But who’s counting? Besides us, that is.