Author: Bonfire of the Absurdities

Tax evasion in Greece threatened to take organised form on Thursday when café and restaurant owners refused to pay a 10-point VAT rise, as a deep recession clashes with the government’s increasingly desperate search for revenue. The US is not the only government that views small business as their beast of burden. Of course, cutting spending is out of the question – what would the pols use to buy votes with?

New Jersey public employee unions, seeking to block a law reducing pension and health benefits, sued Governor Chris Christie and other state officials. A gold digger met a handsome stranger in Vegas who told her he was a billionaire and offered her a million bucks for a night of sweaty sex. In the morning, he reveals to her he’s actually only a bus boy and the million bucks ain’t happening. So she sues him for it. Sounds like a plan, right?

Italian PM Berlusconi vows to leave “sh*tty” Italy in conversation recorded by police. Another “frustrated” politician with “bad luck” stumbles upon a solution. It’s an option Barack Obama should consider, given how poorly our country has treated him. Will they rename the nation “Sh*taly”?

You will be shocked to learn the majority owner of Solyndra (the “green tech” company that Obama touted last year and which filed for bankruptcy Aug 31) is an Oklahoma billionaire named George Kaiser, who was a major fundraiser for the 2008 Obama-Biden campaign.
Frankly, we would be more surprised to find out he wasn’t.

El Nino incites wars and the Post Office controls temperature. A satirical post that “proves scientifically” we can eliminate global warming by reducing US first class postage rates. Correlation does not prove causation unless we’re talking about something for which left wing politicians want to make a pseudo-scientific case, then correlation magically becomes sufficient. And according to a leading scientist, failure to agree is raaaaacism.

Obama’s Speech Won’t Change His Polls. To use Obabbler’s favorite analogy, the engine is revving at full speed but the car is plodding along at 3 mph due to the ten ton dumpster filled with crap named “Obamacare” it’s dragging behind it. Instead of cutting the tow rope, Obama proposes to spend a trillion dollars on a “fuel booster” brewed by a magic unicorn in order to add more pep. With Obama driving, this heap will be lucky to make it to the nearest ditch.

Gallup polling last week showed that only 41 percent of women now say they approve of the way Obama is handling his job as president. That is an all-time low–down from the previous low of 43 percent, which is what Obama’s approval had been among women in each of the previous three weeks. Well, they don’t like what he’s done as president but how do they feel about the way he’s handled the role of being the nation’s first metrosexual demi-god amateur golfer? These days, thanks to a celebrity-addled culture and a totally worthless journalistic establishment, it’s easy to confuse the two.

Obama’s jobs “plan”: another speech. If an Obama speech falls flat on its face on prime time TV and nobody’s watching, is his suit still empty? No change and you can believe it.

It turns out that President Obama much-exalted “green” jobs initiative is having a hard time getting off the ground in large part due to the federal government’s own extensive regime of regulatory red tape. Obama hoisted with his own petard. What’s a petard? Maybe a Harvard Law degree, Marxist economics book or something he left on the golf course. Whatever it is, if it’s Obama’s it sure as hell ain’t a job.

The mayor of a Wisconsin town said on Tuesday a local labor council would have to reimburse the city up to $2,000 for a Labor Day parade if organizers exclude Republican lawmakers from attending. Mayor Tipple stated, “This is not a political rally, it’s a parade, for God’s sake.” A man who takes his duties seriously and applies the law in a fair, even-handed manner…. we wish this fellow was running the DOJ.

Rep. Andre Carson (D-IN) claims “some of them in Congress right now of this tea party movement would love to see you and me … hanging on a tree.” Of course, no evidence of this proposition was provided aside from the generic complaint that the Tea Party is obstructing President Obama’s wish to flush more money down the gubbermint commode. Forget white sheets and axe handles, thrift, living within your means and aversion to borrowing are the prima facie evidence of a RAAAAACIST now.

Obama invents the airplane bus tour…. An AP reporter said that Obama might have ridden these expensive buses only one mile at each stop. Obama spent most of the “BUS TOUR” on an airplane traveling between stops. Is it just us or is this man not able to tell the truth about anything? Like Wile E. Coyote, this fool is falling from a great height and hitting every branch on the way down.

Social security and Bernie Madoff have quite a bit in common. One big difference is that Madoff never compelled us to “contribute” to his frauds. Warning: there is a Venn diagram at the link (Obama: Waaah! They told me there would be no math in this job!)

Obama’s EEOC tells trucking companies to hire alcoholics…. The EEOC is now demanding that trucking companies like Old Dominion Freight Line not only hire and employ “recovering” alcoholics, but also to allow them to continue working as interstate truckers rather than being assigned “to a less safety-sensitive position.” Well, if we can have a mental midget Marxist running the US government, having a few drunks driving 18-wheelers around doesn’t seem like a big deal. We wonder if Obama hires the sobriety-challenged to pilot his 2 million dollar bus or his golf cart?

Al Gore, “carbon billionaire”…. No one has made more money from climate change hype than Gore. According to the U.K.’s Guardian newspaper, just one of the “green” companies in which Gore has invested has received over half a billion dollars in subsidies from the Energy Department. Al Gore is profiting handsomely from the climate change hoax he seeks to perpetuate, but he claims it’s the oil and coal companies that are the ones with ulterior motives. When we were young, society had a word for this sort of thing: “fraud.”

Michelle Obama, rosewood smuggler? Seems in 2009, the FLOTUS gave a Gibson guitar with a fretboard made from Indian rosewood (the same wood the DOJ is busting Gibson for now) to the First Lady of France, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy. If she were a Republican donor, she’d be in real trouble now.

It’s Time To Kill The Electric Car, Drive A Stake Through Its Heart And Burn The Corpse. Another satisfied Volt owner? No, this fellow’s gripes are that the metals to make batteries will be scarcer than fossil fuels in the coming years, and that the constant charging-recharing wears the electronics out quicker. Nature cannot be fooled but foolishness is natural.

DOJ raids Gibson Guitar in search of Republican donors. While Barry O plays the “Have no clue how to create jobs blues”, his hack AG Eric Holder is busting one the few American companies left that still makes anything in America. Memo to Obama: if you want employment, you need employers. If you had ever held a job yourself, you’d know that.

A new CNN poll finds that 27% of Democrats are raaaaacists. Well, they did say they would like to see their party nominate somebody OTHER than Barack Obama for president in 2012. According to everything we’ve heard lately on the subject, that is the very definition of raaaaacism.

Raised in a $1.5 million Barrington Hills, Ill., home by their attorney father, two grown children have spent the last two years pursuing a unique lawsuit against their mom for “bad mothering” that alleges damages caused when she failed to buy toys for one and sent another a birthday card he didn’t like. Must be why Barack’s mom raised him in Hawaii. He woulda won this case given how great a lawyer he is and the fact that no jury would be raaaaacist enough to find against the distinguished plaintiff.

Al Gore says AGW deniers are like raaaaacists. Hmmm, just like those not agreeing with Prez Obama. We’re starting to detect a pattern here.

Oil company shills at CERN: ‘Climate models will need to be substantially revised’. Al Gore’s settled science unsettled. A big ball of hot gas 93 million miles away from here has more effect on earth climate than a big tub of hot air living in a mansion in California would have you believe.

Another change you can’t believe (in): thanks to Obamanomics, banks don’t want deposits. We thought it was just sludge deposits or something they don’t want but, no, they don’t want money either. With the advent of the non-recovery recovery, it just sits in their vaults gathering dust like Mooch’s law degree.