Author: Bonfire of the Absurdities

Psst: There are four separate scandals going on at EPA right now. It might be easier to just start listing the gubbermint agencies NOT embroiled in scandal in Obama’s Hopelessly Changed Amerikka.

You commit three felonies a day. “The answer lies in the very nature of modern federal criminal laws, which have exploded in number but also become impossibly broad and vague.” Unlike North Korea, they won’t have to arrest you for not crying enough when Obama misses a putt…

Ex-Energy Secretary Chu: Our green-energy loans were “more successful than Wall Street.” Well, crony capitalism does produce really good returns for the cronies.

CBS News: State Department covered up misconduct, interfered with IG probes. “In one specific and striking cover-up, State Department agents told the Inspector General they were told to stop investigating the case of a U.S. Ambassador who held a sensitive diplomatic post and was suspected of patronizing prostitutes in a public park.” It must be that this is how the hopey-changey administration thinks these things are supposed to be dealt with.

Obama gives Chinese president Xi fabulous gift on departure. It’s inscribed “Presented to His Excellency Xi Jinping President of the People’s Republic of China By Barack Obama President of the United States Sunnylands Annenberg Estate June 7-8, 2013”. Because nuthin’ says “thanks for coming” like a… bench.

Looters have come from afar to OK after tornado. “…police arrested one man from Elmhurst, N.Y., and two from Virginia on misdemeanor complaints of stealing copper wire, scrap metal and other items from homes destroyed by the May 20 tornado.” Class.

Hilarious: Obama tells fatcat donors Democrats favor free-market solutions and less government regulation. Yes, and your wife prefers quiet evenings at home to taxpayer-funded luxury world travel. Is this man’s teleprompter playing with a full deck????

Tech Giants: We didn’t know! Bullcookies. “Self-interest, rather than virtue, guides the growing clout of these ‘Big Data’ companies in Washington. The same is often true of Mr. Obama.” Often? Like maybe 99.9% of the time? The wages of crony capitalism are… you.

School asks kids to trade in toy guns for a bicycle. “The purpose of the trade-in is to stop children from playing with toy guns, which may make them more likely to commit violence with real guns, said Strobridge Elementary principal Chris Hill.” Better get them to trade in their video games, televisions, computers and (sadly, in many cases) their families as well. Or how about just putting them in a sealed plastic bag until they’re old enough to vote Democrat?

Pelosi on Obamacare: “I don’t remember saying that everybody in the country would have a lower premium.” Well, you gotta pass it to find out what’s in it and she did, on “Meet the Press” on July 1, 2012. From the transcript: “And everybody will have lower rates, better quality care and better access. So that’s what they want to repeal, we’re happy to have that debate.” No you’re not, you’ve been suppressing the debate for 4 f-cking years.

The Boys of Pointe du Hoc. On the 69th anniversary of D-Day, recall President Reagan’s speech on the 40th anniversary in 1984.

“The administration has now lost all credibility” on transparency and accountability, says … the New York Times. If you’ve lost the NY Times, you’ve lost… well, let’s just say it’s not a good day for Obama when one of his most faithful lapdogs poops on his shoes.

Venezuelan state considers system to limit food purchases. “The state of Zulia in western Venezuela said it will launch a pilot program next week that uses a digital system to block shoppers from buying the same staple products at different stores on the same day.” Typical socialist idiocy – instead of getting the hell out of the way and letting private enterprise produce more, the control freaks decide to micro-manage everyone’s lives even more. Centuries of failure prove nothing!

Surprise! Obama Admin “outreach” program to Islamic groups is US & Middle East promoted radical Islamists. “Actual moderate Muslims have been neglected and isolated by this project, which has helped the radicals, Islamists, and pro-terrorists gain hegemony in the Muslim community in America.” Leading with his behind.

Martin Bashir: When Republicans say “IRS,” they’re really dropping the N-bomb on Obama. At MSNBC, they pee on their own legs and think it’s raining.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7s4_Fw65Ps&feature=player_embedded

Al Qaeda weapons expert: Ambassador Stevens killed by lethal injection. The “plan was based on abduction and exchange of high-level prisoners…” Obviously, a kidnapping plot which arose spontaneously after the participants viewed a certain YouTube video…

Quote of the day. “In Wetumpka, we are patriotic Americans. We peacefully assemble. We petition our government. We exercise the right to free speech. And we don’t understand why the government tried to stop us.

“I’m not here as a serf or a vassal. I’m not begging my lords for mercy. I’m a born free American woman. Wife, mother, and citizen. And I’m telling my government that you’ve forgotten your place. It’s not your responsibility to look out for my wellbeing and to monitor my speech. It’s not your right to assert an agenda. Your post, the post that you occupy, exists to preserve American liberty. You’ve sworn to perform that duty, and you have faltered…

“What the government did to our little group in Wetumpka, Alabama is un-American. It isn’t a matter of firing or arresting individuals. The individuals who sought to intimidate us were acting as they thought they should, in a government culture that has little respect for its citizens. Many of the agents and agencies of the federal government do not understand that they are servants of the people. They think they are our masters. And they are mistaken.

“I’m not interested in scoring political points. I want to protect and preserve the America that I grew up in. The America that people crossed oceans and risked their lives to become a part of. And I’m terrified it is slipping away.

“Thank you.”

– Today’s Testimony of Becky Gerritson, president of the Wetumpka, Alabama Tea Party, before the House Ways and Means Committee.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=0N8TykuZvTY

GOP rep: If the left cares so much about tax exemption being abused, why is Obama’s OFA group seeking exemption? An even better question is why did they not get harrassed by the IRS for asking for one? But we already know the answer to that one.

Al-Qaeda takes “credit” for Oklahoma Tornado. According to the latest issue of al-Qaeda’s Inspire magazine, “This is not change of weather. This is a soldier of Allah!” Well, the global warming jihadists say it’s “man caused” (and many will probably insist there ain’t no Allah.) Why don’t you two discuss it and get back to us, say in a century or so…

National Organization for Marriage: We have proof the IRS leaked our confidential donor list to our chief political rival, Human Rights Watch. “[NOM’s] Eastman explained that while some information was redacted in the posted version, his group’s ‘forensic’ specialists were able to strip layers from the document and found “the original document that was posted there had originated from within the IRS. He said the version had ‘internal IRS stamps,’ which ‘only exist within the IRS.'” Just another example of those damn racist Republicans overreaching or something.

Dem McDermott: If conservative groups didn’t apply for tax-exempt status, they would have never been scrutinized. Yeah, ’cause the hunnert-year-old Constitution thingy only protects those who don’t try to exercise their rights. Some politicians are always “on” but McDermott is always more-on.

White House Insider: “Democrats could give a sh*t about Mexicans – it’s all about 2014.″ “WHI warns that Senate Democrats are using Republican Senator Marco Rubio and others to ‘run the ball up the field’ on the immigration issue as a way to defeat Congressional Republicans in 2014.” Like gun control, the public really doesn’t give a sh*t about this issue either – why is Rubio playing along? Possibly because he believes the media BS about the Latino vote. Marco, get a clue – they won’t be voting GOP even if you hand out $100 bills and you’re falling right into the Dem trap. They aren’t called “the stupid party” for nothing.

Biden cancels annual summer beach party. Gotta be because of that mean ole sequester, eh? Now all the poor journ0lists will have to swelter in their hot, million-dollar+ city townhomes all summer long. The GOP are a bunch of meanies.

MSNBC President: “We’re not what you’d call a ‘news network’.” As if to prove the point, that admission is not news either.

Axelrod, Plouffe: IRS scandal way too “stupid” to be political. Sure, politicians are all geniuses who find it impossible to do anything stupid… just ask Anthony Weiner, Mark Sanford, Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy, etc, etc.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_oTtBF1VgFw#!