The Senate has severely scaled back the Stock Act, the law to stop members of Congress and their staff from trading on insider information. “Old ways to get rich: Invent good stuff. New ways to get rich: Insider trading. Taxes and rents. Capital raids.” Well, as a famous 1/32 Cherokee said, “you didn’t build that.” In other words, “Where’s my cut?”

North Korea: The family business is failing. “…the best conjecture is that young Kim is simply trying his best to ply the bread-and-butter trade of the Kim family business: nuclear blackmail. It’s just that, like most third-generation heirs, he’s not very good at it.” It’s an interesting analogy, comparing the Nork Forced Labor Utopia to a family business. If the Left comes to view it as a business, they’re sure to start trying to tear it down instead of singing its praises.

A WaPo reporter “explains” her personal Gosnell trial blackout. “I cover policy for the Washington Post, not local crime, hence why I wrote about all the policy issues you mention.” Yep, she really said that. All the news that fits our agenda, we print.

Maryland approves tax on rain. “…a stormwater pollution fee to raise revenue to cleanup the Chesapeake Bay. … Local governments would charge property owners a fee based on the amount of pavement on their property. It would be at the jurisdiction of the local governments to determine the size of those fees.” Yep, the state that wants to burn chicken shit now wants to tax rainwater. Is there no idea too ridiculous for these guys? Let’s think up some and see if they bite…

Man gets 7 years for stealing Obama’s teleprompter. Deservedly so, our super-genius 11-dimensional-chess-playing Dear Leader is at a loss for words without his “assistant”… coherent and brief words, anyway. Say “hello”, Mr. President… TOTUS? TOTUS? HELP!

MSNBC’s Harris-Perry: “You do have the right to health care, and to education, and to decent housing and to quality food at all times”. Let’s do a thought experiment: if everybody has that right at all times, then there is no need to go to work to get money to buy them, correct? So if everybody decides to take that route, who will provide the health care, housing and food for all of us who have the right to them? (a) The Chinese (b) the European Union (c) shut up (d) we will reinstate the draft and have the military do it. Rights!

Man arrested for driving 90 mph with genitals hanging out the window. “At over 90 miles per hour, he had his penis out [the window]… he was masturbating… and that’s when it got really, really bad.” Guess what? He’s a politician (no, for once this has nothing to do with A. Weiner) – he’s the former Mount Carmel [TN] vice-mayor… apparently, that title really means what it says.

Woodward on Gore: Former VP was “unpleasant” as dinner companion. “Woodward described Gore as ‘taxing’…” Damn Democrats, even at the dinner table they have their hands in your pocket…

Cheney: US in “deep doo doo” over NKorea. Well, that’s what happens when the US has a doo-doo for brains as president.

Free-fall: Adjusted for inflation, print newspaper advertising revenue in 2012 was lower than in 1950. “The dramatic decline in newspaper ad revenues has to be one of the most significant Schumpeterian gales of creative destruction in recent years.” The gubbermint must get involved… to prop up these important sources of propaganda public information with taxpayer money.

Layers and layers of fact-checkers. “J.C. Penney CEO Ron Johnson was canned yesterday. [The NBC News report] shows a picture of Senator Ron Johnson (R-WI).” Well, maybe NBC thinks JC Penney is one of the 57 states.

If only Europe had listened: Euro-skepticism Thatcher’s most relevant legacy. [Ex-French president] Jacques Chirac said Thatcher’s was a housewife’s economics – to us that means, unlike the Euro-circus, time-tested ideas based in reality that actually work. Mon Dieu!

Margaret Thatcher helped invent soft-serve ice cream. “As a chemist for food manufacturer J. Lyons and Co. in the 1940s… Thatcher, and colleagues, invented a way to add more air into the ice cream so that it was less dense and used less ingredients, which also made it more cost-effective.” Big deal, it’s not like she was a community organizer or something. Yep, the woman was pure evil.

Leftists celebrate Thatcher’s death by rioting, attacking police. Same way they celebrate everything else. Ever get the idea the Left is not a political movement as much as a bunch of street thugs just mouthing the words? Can’t imagine why.

McConnell asks FBI to investigate possible illegal wiretap. “…campaign has accused opponents of bugging McConnell’s headquarters and has asked for an FBI investigation after a recording from an internal campaign meeting surfaced on Mother Jones this morning.” Well, it’s not illegal when Marxists/leftists do it ’cause it’s “for da people” or something.

Mass. man faces charges after defending himself from a bear in his own yard. “… the environmental guy told me ‘You should have called me instead of shooting it.’ What was I going to do, say ‘Mister Bear would excuse me please while I go make a phone call?’” Pal, you live in a state which elected Fauxchahontas Warren as a senator… does that answer your question?

The US has surpassed Saudi Arabia in oil production. “Despite Obama shutting down production in the Gulf. Despite the EPA. Despite NY fiddle-farting around with permits for fracking.” Remember in 2008 when Pelosi said “Drill Baby, Drill” was a waste of time because it would take decades for that oil to come online or something? The oil got here before her stinkin’ “wind power”.

We need an IQ test for politicians. “…ignorance and incompetence are on regular display among our political class. Its members are good at what they do — but what they do, really, is raise money and win elections. There’s no particular correlation between those skills and any other kind of competence. In fact, given their record of passing increasingly dumb laws, if there’s any correlation at all, it’s a negative one.” Well, if they had any real talent for anything useful, they’d be doing honest work somewhere.

“Democrats trying to use guns to kill the Tea Party and win 2014″. “I also was given a heads up that the McCain office has been in direct contact with the Obama operation on this issue. For weeks. … He can’t stand the Tea Party wing of the party and wants it gone. For good.”

MSNBC’s Harris-Perry: America’s “kids belong to their communities”. “Once it’s everybody’s responsibility and not just the households, then we start making better investments.” Of course, just like “green energy”, it will be “everybody’s” responsibility to supply the money for people like her to “invest”, mostly in themselves and their cronies. Funny how that works out.

Protesters greet Obama on S.F.’s Billionaires’ Row. “Turns out this whole protest was nothing more play-acting for the cameras, a group of faux protesters colluding with Obama to create a Potemkin ‘movement’ which he can then cite as justification for making an unpopular decision he already wanted to make anyway. ‘I had no choice — there’s a mass movement against this pipeline! I must bow to the will of the people.'” Political street circus in San Phonyfrisco.

If Obama really cared so much about kids and shootings… “Now, a riddle for you. What did our three most famous recent mass murderers, Adam Lanza, James Holmes, and Jared Lee Loughner, all have in common? Like half of all Americans, they had access to a gun. But like a very small but growing percentage of the population, they were young people who played endless, obsessive hours of violent video games.” All problems are the fault of people who aren’t big donors to Obama and the Democrats.

As cities cut police forces, the wealthy hire private protection. “…residents of Oakland, California’s ‘wealthy enclaves’ have hired private security in response to the decline of the Oakland Police Department. … [they city] laid off cops despite ‘struggling with one of the highest murder rates in the nation.’ While these private guards are unarmed—California leads the country in gun control…” Who would hire unarmed guards in a city with “one of the highest murder rates in the nation”? Who would take a job as one? Is it just us or does this sound nonsensical?

ALL embassies told to evacuate staff from Pyongyang. “… dictator Kim Jong-un warned he could not ‘guarantee the safety of foreigners.'” Dennis Rodman hardest hit, will need to find a new BFF.

US Job creation plunges, unemployment rate drops to 7.6%. UE rate “dropped” because labor force participation rate also declined to 63.3%, a new 30 year low. “And now the time to come up with excuses is here.” Make them good ones. Update: don’t blame sequester.