Author: Bonfire of the Absurdities

“I’m going to keep doing everything I can to help you save money on gas, both right now and in the future,” Obama said. He tried nothing and it didn’t work, so he’s doubling down. That’s President Zerobama for ya, all talk and lots of contradictory action. Here’s one thing that would help: get lost, Barry.

Host an occupier in your home and help sustain the movement. OWS is running out of cash and is struggling to keep going until spring when “we fully expect the money will start flowing in again.” If, as it seems, they’ve outlived their usefulness to Obama and the Democrats, we’d suggest not betting the tent on that.

Obama to Palestinians: I’ve got YOUR back, too! “President Barack Obama has told the Palestinians to sit tight during a U.S. election year, while holding out the promise of a serious push for Palestinian statehood if he wins a second term, the Palestinian foreign minister said Friday.” So much for that “I’ve got your back, Israel” crap. Absolutely everything is political performance art to the campaigner-in-chief.

A tale of two presidents: while the media drools about today’s “good” news that the unemployment rate was unchanged at 8.3%, flash back to how they reported 4.7% under Bush. How about “The weakness persists – there’s no doubt about it. We’re still not out of the woods,” she said. “The numbers were misleading last month, but there’s other indicators of wariness.” An America without journ0lists would be like fish without Chevy Volts.

General Motors (still 25% taxpayer owned) last week bought a 7 percent stake in PSA Peugeot Citroenmore for more than $400 million. “…auto industry analysts find the deal mystifying.” Perhaps the crony capitalists at GM just need a new supply of cronies.

Can you trust the Labor Dept’s jobs number? The unemployment numbers are likely wrong, probably because the BLS’s methodology is out of date after the changes in the economy the last 30 years. For instance, “…the US economy was built on housing for years and years, and this time those jobs aren’t coming back…” The BLS model needs to be tweaked to account for that. Whatever the problem, the current administration appears clueless to fix it.

Sebelius has “no idea” what’s in Obamacare. Sen. Johnson (R-WI) asked HHS Sec’y Sebelius about some of the Administration’s claims regarding their signature “achievement.” She has “no idea” what he’s asking about. Why should she? Obama and Nancy already told you it’s great, so just shut up.

Obama Energy Secretary Chu: “I don’t own a car at the moment.” Could be part of the reason why he doesn’t give a flying fornication how much gas costs. BTW, he thinks the Volt is really swell – expert advice from the guy who doesn’t own a car at the moment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=eQCGFgqSaD4

Report: US offered Israel advanced weaponry in exchange for delaying Iran attack until 2013, after US elections in November this year. Reported by the Israeli newspaper Maariv, which cited unnamed Western diplomatic and intelligence sources. The fates of millions of people are of secondary importance to whether Barry gets to play golf on the taxpayers’ dime for another four years.

U.S. unemployment, as measured by Gallup without seasonal adjustment, increased to 9.1% in Feb from 8.6% in Jan and 8.5% in Dec. “Underemployment is 19.1%, up from 18.7% in January.” Yeah, but when the official numbers come out tomorrow, including all the seasonally-adjusted unicorn herding jobs Gallup isn’t counting, we’re sure the picture will look a lot brighter. 8% unemployment, anyone?

Q: How many Democrats does it take to hold up a sign? A: About $150K worth. Ma’am Boxer speaks, two fulltime committee staffers to hold a sign for their chairwoman’s remarks. (The wooden easel was on break.) Hey, she’s a Democrat, you don’t wanna know how much the wooden easel is getting paid.

Taxpayers paying wind farms NOT to generate electricity. Wind farms, built with government subsidies and maintained with tax credits, are now getting paid to shut down due to oversupplies of renewable power. Hey, maybe we can shut down DC due to oversupplies of stupidity? We’ve generated enough for the next few millenia in the last 3 years alone.

Police: First-grader allegedly hands out bogus $100 bills at East Chicago school. Perhaps a future Fed Chairman or more likely Mr. Hope and Change of 2052.

Coal heats up as campaign issue for Obama as clean-air rules hit swing states. Coal accounts for more than half of the nation’s electricity generation. “Forcing a transition to commercially unproven technologies could send thousands of jobs overseas and raise electricity rates on families and seniors at a time when the nation can least afford it.” Never mind that, vote for Obama or the GOP will control how often Sandra Fluke has sex!

Obama mocks Ed Henry: Do you think I want gas prices going up in an election year? We’ll answer that for Ed: Yes, you do. Actions speak louder than your empty words and all of your actions say “raise those damn prices.” But it is clear you don’t want to take responsibility for those prices. Clear enough?

Obama: Folks faint all the time at my events. Perhaps something about you really stinks… like your record.

MSNBC Hosts Grieve Over Kucinich Loss In Ohio. Don’t feel bad guys, look at the bright side… Dennis will probably watch MSNBC regularly and thus increase your audience by 20%.

Sandra Fluke argued for mandatory coverage for sex-change surgery. This whole kabuki dance was no fluke. “Hey America, stop looking at how Obama’s policies raised the price of gas, worsened unemployment and engendered numerous foreign policy failures… the GOP doesn’t want you to have FREE contraceptives and sex changes!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRjufYB0IRE

Purple people eaters set white teen on fire. It’s hard to see racism when you’re a media hack with your head as far up your ass as you can get it.

Former Sens. Bob Graham (D-FL) and Bob Kerrey (D-NE) say Saudi Arabia may be tied To 9/11 Plot. Graham led a 2002 investigation into the attacks and Kerrey was on the 9/11 Commission, so they know of which they speak. It’s an open secret that the Saudi gov’t staves off troublemakers by giving them money to make trouble somewhere else. Much of that money is supplied by us for oil, money we could be sending to the Canadians and the North Dakotans.

Seeing Obama live for the first time: “This is one strange dude — part narcissist, part Chicago ward heeler, part neo-Alinskyite marxist, part talk show host smoothie, part nowhere man.” “The ideas might be there, traceable back to Ayers, Dohrn, and Reverend Wright, but he has pushed them far away, almost as if he were trying to forget them. They were no longer functional and had to go, but he is left with… what?” Golf.

Breitbart’s last work: The Vetting, Part I: Barack’s Love Song to Alinsky. “Andrew did not want to re-litigate the 2008 election. Nor did he want to let Republicans off the hook. Instead, he wanted to show that the media had failed in its most basic duty: to uncover the truth, and hold those in power accountable, regardless of party.” Let it be so.

Debbie Wasserman Schultz: “It would take 45 years to produce out of oil shale from the Keystone Pipeline as much oil as we save in the increase in fuel efficiency standards from President Obama’s policy that would be implemented by the middle of the next decade.” We think she’s trying to say Obama’s policies will save as much oil by 2025 as the Keystone Pipeline will produce in 45 years. Fine. What’s wrong with doing both things?

White House to Congressional Dems: no money for you. Democratic congressional leaders were hoping for $30 million but it’s not happening. “It was a stark admission from a presidential campaign once expected to rake in as much as $1 billion of just how closely it is watching its own bottom line.” Maybe Barry can lower his “My dinner with Obama” price again. Cue the 1930s fave “Ten Cents a Dance”!

Full schematic of Chevy Volt. Note: no user-serviceable parts. For service, contact nearest Obama political crony only.