Author: CO2Insanity

Eliot Spitzer Dipping a Toe Back in Politics. Wasn’t there a problem last time he was dipping something?

Steven Chu’s Europe gas quote haunts President Obama. “Somehow,” Chu said, “we have to figure out how to boost the price of gasoline to the levels in Europe.” We hope this statement gives Obama gas of a different kind.

Taxpayers Foot Legal Bills for Fannie and Freddie Execs. Einstein was wrong. When it comes to screwing the tax-payers out of money, perpetual motion does indeed exist.

OBAMA WANTS TO STOP ARRESTING ILLEGAL ALIENS. Viva Obama! Voto para Obama!

Mother of suspect in killing of Berkeley man says son has mental problems. Actually the headline should be OWS gets it’s first kill. Were it not for them tying up the Berkeley PD this may have never happened. “At that time, available officers were being reconfigured in order to monitor a (Occupy Oakland) protest which was to come into Berkeley from Oakland in the next hour,” Greenwood said. “Only criminal, in-progress emergency calls were to be dispatched, due to the reduction in officers available to handle calls for service.”

Top 12 reasons to vote Democrat. We’re deviating from the norm as this is too good to not post. Unknown author, but we’d sure like to know the person who came up with it.

“When your family or friends cannot explain why they voted democrat, give them this list and they can pick a reason from this “TOP 12”.

12.  I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.

11.  I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

10.  I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

9.  I voted Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

8.  I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.

7.  I voted Democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

6.  I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the social security from those who paid into it.

5.  I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

4.  I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

3.  I voted Democrat because I think that it’s better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.

2.  I voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised “HOPE AND CHANGE”.

And, finally, the No. 1 reason to vote Democrat:

1.  I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my rectal cavity, it’s unlikely that I’ll ever have another point of view.”

Obama to law enforcement: Stop linking Muslims to terrorism. If you see the obvious ignore it.

SEAN PENN SAN FRANCISCO HOME UP FOR SALE – MINIMALIST $15 MILLION. Yep, that Sean certainly is a 99%’er!

The Occupy Wall Street Bible Is Out, and It’s Good. About all the pages are good for is wiping your occupy nasty ass after pooping on a police car.

Mother who ‘forced 10-year-old son to walk 5 miles to school faces jail time for endangerment.’ Yeah, we know, if she would have given him a free Safelink cell phone, chicken nuggets and a book of Alinsky quotes she’d be mother of the year.

Well it has been a whole month! Just weeks after 17-day Hawaii vacation Michelle hits the slopes with daughters on Aspen ski trip. Look! Up on the slopes! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a Sasquatch! No! It’s Michelle Obama in her transparent identity SuperVactioner! Blowing tax-dollars faster than a speeding bullet! Able to eat chocolate cakes in a single bite while telling you peons to eat arugula with low-cal ranch dressing!

DHS: ‘CBP Stops Thousands of Unsafe Hair Dryers’. Fat Sis is really protecting us! Meanwhile, 13,000 illegal aliens snuck across the border at the same time.

Lover Finds Dead Cat Beneath Fat Woman’s Bottom. Two kitties for the price of one? We have to ask – did he roll her in flour first?

Christian student quits school choir in protest at song ‘praising Allah.’ I think there would be a lot of outrage if we made a Muslim choir say Jesus Christ is the only truth.’ If that happened  CAIR would be pulling out all the stops. We will give credit, at least they weren’t singing ‘Barack Obama..mmm….mmm….mmmmmmm.‘

‘Sean Penn’s an idiot and a fool’: Falklands hero Simon Weston hits back at bleeding heart actor’s explosive remarks on disputed islands. To this we reply with the world famous IHTM line “No shit Sherlock!”

Just in time for Valentine’s Day: A new app to direct New Yorkers to free condoms. Mayor Nanny Bloomberg now in your bedroom.

Sewage Plant Offers Valentine’s Day Tours On Fetid Newtown Creek In Brooklyn. We’ve been scouring the internet and finally we have a suggestion for where President Obama can take Mrs. Obama for Valentine’s Day. Of course, compared to Washington, DC, this will probably smell like roses.

Arrested for being WHITE? Grandfather who was repeatedly stopped and cuffed for walking with his black granddaughter. Talk about reverse discrimination! My mother has a black friend she grew up with in Charleston, SC and was actually pulled over by a Bubba cop who who inquired if she was OK as she is white. It’s amazing this happens in this day and age.

Ill. man gets 3 years in erectile pump case. A new way to pump money out of the government. We hear Barney Frank is dissapointed he didn’t get one in the mail.

Teenager whose fart joke caused ELEVEN agencies to lockdown his school in bomb scare. The teacher moron who reported this is another stellar example of what’s wrong with the education system in the US. We suggest you don’t tell fart jokes at PTA meetings or airports unless you have a fetish for Big Sis to give you the rubber hose treatment at GITMO.

Dependency Index Surges 23% Under President Obama. Gotta make sure there’s more Obama voters in the next election since many who voted for him last time aren’t too happy with him now.

Leading Pennsylvania Democrat convicted of theft, conspiracy. “I certainly feel I did nothing wrong,” DeWeese insisted after a 12-person jury found him guilty of five of six charges brought against him by the state Attorney General’s Office.” Yes, we know, stealing is what the Democrats do best, certainly nothing wrong here.

‘What about McDonald’s in the Pentagon?: Extraordinary top secret call between FBI and Scotland Yard ‘tapped’ by Anonymous. We guess McDonald’s must be way better than the food in the Pentagon cafeteria and British food. Sounds like Inspector Clouseau could do a better job of securing their e-mail, too.

Roseanne Barr seeks Green Party presidential nod. Based upon photos, eating enough food for 10 people isn’t what we consider green. However, it is fitting she’s a comedian, as if she’s elected it will be a joke.

Fed chief Bernanke issues debt warning. How is Congress supposed to reduce the debt when every time you turn around Obama is asking for another trillion?