Author: editor

Destroying the theory that illegal aliens do jobs Americans won’t do. Obama’s illegal alien uncle Onyango works in a liquor store, for god’s sake. What red-blooded American man wouldn’t want to work in a liquor store? He probably gets an employee discount, too.

Ed Schultz upset that Al Sharpton now considered to be the most idiotic MSNBC host, decides to get his title back. And by something, we mean he praises Jimmy Hoffa and says Obama would be more popular if he started talking like a union thug.

New York City Mayor Bloomberg says, “Don’t call it Ground Zero anymore.” Kind of like we shouldn’t call Bloomberg a Republican anymore.

Major Garrett says Al Gore has always been imperious, arrogant and condescending. And then the National Journal correspondent tells Dennis Miller that Gore’s “global warming deniers are racists” theme is just more of the same.

Liberal lunacy: San Francisco to force naked residents to keep a towel handy. When I told Mrs Editor about this story she said, “Well, at least they’re required to wear a towel.” “No,” I replied, “they can walk around naked. The law says they have to put a towel under themselves when they sit down in public.” I can’t tell you what Mrs Editor said then.

“This is just dumb. The former speaker is criticizing us for passing up an opportunity to criticize the president.” The Republicans decided that President Obama’s silly address to a joint session of Congress didn’t merit an official speech in response. Nancy Pelosi is outraged and calls it “disrespectful,” which is a major improvement over “racist.”

Armageddon Alert: MSNBC criticizes Hoffa comments. Pinch me and wake me friggin’ up. I must be dreaming. Apparently Hoffa’s comments were so out of line that even MSNBC found them offensive.

Decomposing corpse found in suitcase on New York City street. Much to our surprise, it wasn’t the Obama presidency.

Nancy Pelosi is no longer being stimulated. Get this quote from TheHill.com: Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and House Democrats have dropped the word ‘stimulus’ from their vocabulary… Recognizing the unpopularity of the 2009 package, however, Democratic leaders have revised their message with less loaded language – ‘job creation’ instead of ‘stimulus’ and ‘Make it in America’ in lieu of ‘Recovery Act’ – in hopes of tackling the jobs crisis.” And in the spirit of compromise we are now saying horsefeathers instead of bullshit.

Debbie Wasserman Schultz won’t condemn Hoffa’s “sons of bitches” comment no matter how many times Fox News asks. Our guess? She secretly thought the comment was sexist because it didn’t include daughters of bitches.

What is Christiane Amanpour thinking at the end of this video clip? (a) Thomas Friedman Paul Krugman is a complete loon, (b) Those evil Republicans are blocking Obama’s attempts to save the nation, or (c) I really loved that Home Alone movie.

Joe Biden tells AFL-CIO, “You are the only folks keeping the barbarians from the gates.” C’mon, Joe, take Richard Trumka out of his $2000 suit and put him in a bearskin vest and his picture goes with the word “barbarian” in the dictionary.

Union thug Jimmy Hoffa Jr: “President Obama, this is your army. We are ready to march. Let’s take these son of bitches out and give America back to an America where we belong.” When Hoffa says “take these son of bitches out” we don’t think he’s talking about going down to the malt shop and asking for two straws.

Australia’s creative solution to the illegal alien problem: Boat people are flooding onto the shores of Australia and the Aussies put them in refugee camps until they can figure out what to do with them. Guys who look like your grandfather claimed to be minors, hoping to be granted asylum. Until, that is, the Aussies said, “No more cigarettes for minors.” All of a sudden nicotine-addicted 12-year olds admitted they were adults and said, “Go ahead. Deport me, but don’t cut off my ciggies.” If we tried that in this country, it would end up in court with the Surgeon General one one side, Homeland Security on the other, and the ACLU looking back and forth in the middle trying to figure out which side it should be on.

Time reporter insisted Solyndra was healthy just nine weeks ago and berated Republicans who questioned it. The boys over at Verum Serum have nailed Michael Grunwald, the Time reporter who just nine weeks ago criticized Republicans for doubting the financial wisdom of doling out $500-some million to Solyndra. Now that it turns out Solyndra is Bernie Madoff’s corporate doppelganger, only one question remains: How would you like your crow prepared, Mr. Grunwald?

“… according to Gallup, the fastest growing demographic party label was former Democrat.” Here’s a devastating paragraph from Salon.com: “Obama has ruined the Democratic Party. The 2010 wipeout was an electoral catastrophe so bad you’d have to go back to 1894 to find comparable losses. From 2008 to 2010, according to Gallup, the fastest growing demographic party label was former Democrat. Obama took over the party in 2008 with 36 percent of Americans considering themselves Democrats. Within just two years, that number had dropped to 31 percent, which tied a 22-year low.” So it turns out we can thank President Obama for two things: Driving people away from the Democrat party and giving us Joe Biden, the comedy gift that keeps on giving.

U.S. Labor Secretary Hilda Solis admits she’s ignorant about job creation in Texas, then proves she’s wrong about everything else. Wow. Just wow. We’ve come to expect our politicians to be liars, but we also expect them to be good liars. Solis has obviously mastered the former, but failed at the latter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7t2f8k5W0E

When you’ve lost Robert Redford… It’s a sad day when your sorry butt gets abandoned by a has-been Hollywood actor. Robert Redford, speaking of President Obama, said, “Like so many others, I’m beginning to wonder just where the man stands.” The answer, Robert, is that he doesn’t stand. He sits and watches the world go up in flames, rising only occasionally to pour a little more gasoline on the fire.

Heartache for Chris Matthews: Liberal panelists agree that Obama’s “biggest mistake” was ObamaCare. Like this is some sort of secret just revealed for the first time? Poor Chris Matthews just seems disheartened when liberal columnist Howard Fineman says ObamaCare was the President’s biggest mistake and other panelists agree.

U.S. Rep. Rosa DeLauro: Let them eat biscotti. Instead of rushing back from her vacation on Italy’s posh Amalfi Coast in the aftermath of Hurricane Irene, Connecticut Democrat Rosa DeLauro issued a statement that said, “Congresswoman DeLauro has been working virtually non-stop since the hurricane hit.” We suspect that the words “on her tan” were accidentally deleted after the words “has been working virtually non-stop.”

U.S. Taxpayers Subsidizing Education Costs for China? Rep. Mike Coffman, a Colorado Republican, recently visited China and was “shocked” to learn that our genius government is spending millions of dollars to pay for China’s higher-education costs. In other words, we’re borrowing money from China to pay for Chinese kids to go to college in China. We can’t figure out who’s crazier here – the Americans who spend money we don’t have or the Chinese who lend us the money we can’t pay back.

Al Sharpton’s Moron Moment of the Day: Say what, Reverend Al? No, seriously, there are a couple sentences in this short clip that seem to contain no actual English words. Sounds come out of the good Reverend’s mouth, but they are disjointed, unintelligible syllables at best.

But the vending machine never said, “No.” We don’t mean to turn IHateTheMedia.com into a daily listing of strange sexual fetishes, but sometimes it just is what it is. Florida police just busted a very strange dude who “maliciously molested, opened, broke, injured, damaged and inserted his body parts” into a vending machine. Oh, sure, he got his giggles, but did he get his Snickers?

Contestants on new Dutch game show are asylum seekers who are about to be deported. This is for real. “A Dutch game show (Weg Van Nederland) is giving failed asylum seekers the chance to win 4,000 euros (£3,525) to help them start a new life back in their country of origin.” We’re not quite sure what Weg Van Nederland means, but we suspect a loose translation is Are You Smarter Than A Jihadist?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8XZa0XPRcA

President Obama sends child reporters into therapy. No shining city on a hill from this president. No, siree, bob. President Obama turns into Captain Gloom when he’s interviewed by a couple kid reporters. They may have come into the interview thrilled to meet the President, but undoubtedly ran out to buy gold and retreat to a cave as soon as it was over. Nice job inspiring the kids, Captain.