Author: J.P. Travis

He’s baaaaack! Keith Olbermann has a new job – he’ll be covering the Major League Baseball postseason on TBS. “It’s well known that Keith is a fan of the game,” said a spokesman at Turner Broadcasting. Of course he likes baseball. Everybody turns to the left when they run.

Stupidest question in the House since Hank Johnson wondered if Guam would tip over. Rep. Jim McDermott (D-Wash.), trying to discredit conservative witnesses testifying about IRS harassment, says:

“If there was an organization promoting taxpayer funding for abortions, wouldn’t you want to know what they were using that political money for or what candidates they were backing?”

Uh, Mr. Congressman, have you heard of Planned Parenthood? They’re a 501(c)(3), they zealously promote abortion, they give tens of millions to Democrat political campaigns every year, and they get government subsidies… something none of these conservative witnesses you’re attacking even want.

Lindsey Graham wonders if the First Amendment applies to bloggers. And we wonder if everyone in D.C. has the IQ of a fruit fly.

Inspector General finds hidden man caves in EPA warehouse. The hideouts had “televisions, refrigerators, radios, microwaves, chairs and couches.” So far no word on who paid for this stuff, but don’t be surprised if it was charged to Richard Windsor‘s credit card.

Latest sign of the apocalypse. A former member of SEAL Team 6 took hormones, became a transgendered woman, and has now written a memoir titled Warrior Princess. His new name is Kristin… possibly because “She-Ra” was restricted by trademark issues.

EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson’s fake email identity was so good… it received employee awards. Richard Windsor, the illegal email identity created to avoid disclosure of Jackson’s unethical behavior, was even awarded a certificate for ethics and records management… surely some kind of record for irony.

Israeli soldiers post underwear photos on Facebook. If this is a recruiting tactic… good idea. Even Palestinians will be joining the IDF.

Patient dies after EPA mandated device shuts down ambulance. If we don’t get rid of the EPA, the whole United States will be eligible for a Darwin Award someday.

Muslim doctor single-handedly starts polio pandemic. Polio was almost eradicated worldwide when Ibrahim Datti Ahmed, president of the Supreme Council for Sharia in Nigeria, decided polio vaccines were a Western conspiracy to render Muslim children infertile. So ignorant Muslims stopped getting vaccinated, then they spread the disease with trips to Mecca, and polio is suddenly thriving again… although predominately in Muslim populations.

Miami congressman’s chief of staff resigns over election fraud charges. The congressman is a Democrat, of course, although you have to click over to page two of the article to learn that little detail. And here’s another interesting detail: the chief of staff also worked on the campaign of Patrick Murphy last year… that’s the guy who beat out tea-party Republican Allen West.

Meet the journalist dork who bugged Mitch McConnell’s office. His name is Curtis Morrison and he’s the perfect storm of liberal dysfunction. He’s 44 years old with no job and no career. He lost his apartment and lived in his car back in Kentucky. Now he’s relocating to California to attend law school and still thinks skulking around someone’s office to record a private conversation was the right thing to do.

Google chairman bankrolled tech shop exclusively for Democrats. Now that Google is openly partisan, will they have to follow campaign finance laws? Will the FEC sic a Lois Lerner-type pitbull on them? We aren’t holding our breath.

Giant pink slugs roaming around Mount Kaputar in Australia. How long before Anthony Weiner starts Tweeting photos of this thing?

Liberals openly embrace their eugenics roots. The ACLU is suing the state of Arizona to overturn a law against sex-based and race-based abortions. Being good liberals, they like the idea of people aborting unwanted female and dark-skinned babies!

Couple plans underwater dolphin-assisted birth. What could go wrong? As long as the baby is born with gills and the dolphins aren’t hungry, we will end up with another liberal for the welfare rolls.

Transgendered “woman” lies like a rug at New Jersey senate hearing. Gay activists in New Jersey are trying to ban gay conversion therapy like they did in California, so “Brielle Goldani” testified about how “she” was tortured as a child at a gay conversion camp in Ohio. “They electrocuted me like a dog,” was one assertion. Senators were aghast until someone told them the camp Brielle named doesn’t actually exist… except in a 1999 movie starring drag queen Ru Paul.

Global Warming strikes again. That’s upper New York, yesterday. Three feet of snow. Meanwhile, resort owners across the nation are cursing the cold weather this holiday weekend because business is lousy.

Obama calls Oklahoma tornado toll “hard to comprehend.” And he should know about tornado tolls being hard to comprehend – in 2007 he claimed a Kansas tornado killed ten thousand people.

IRS scandal’s astonishing revelation. That Inspector General investigation? The IG allowed an IRS director to sit in on 36 of 41 employee interviews… and the IRS director who sat in was Obama-donor Holly Paz. Even Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-MD) seemed unsettled by the revelation:

“Usually when you are conducting an investigation… you want to keep your witnesses separate because you’re in search of the truth and you are trying to make sure there’s no advantage of a person hearing what somebody else said. That’s pretty standard procedure.”

“Iin hindsight,” conceded the hapless squirming IG, “given this matter, obviously this seems somewhat unusual. I need to do a little more research.”

Weiner slips up. Already experiencing electoral dysfunction, Weiner uploaded another bad picture to the Internet. This time it’s a photo of a city skyline… Pittsburgh’s skyline, not New York’s.

“Why are you standing so close to me?” Snooki and New Jersey’s Governor Christie had a little tiff at the Jersey Shore yesterday and the diminutive reality star finally asked the gargantuan politician to step back. We don’t know who to root for if things get physical – we’re just hoping they don’t fight naked.

A sad day for Boy Scouts of America. At their national council today in Dallas, the 103-year-old organization voted to allow openly gay members, an obviously intermediate step to allowing openly gay adults as volunteers and leaders. “Why is that?” you ask. Well, because they won their Supreme Court case in 2000 based on their right to freely associate with whom they please. So now that they’re freely associating with openly gay boys, the logic behind their legal position ceases to exist. The rationale for excluding gay men has been destroyed.

Dim-witted BBC editor apologizes for offending Muslims… during his broadcast story about two Muslims hacking the head off a British soldier. Even though they were covered in blood, shouting “Allahu Akbar!” and holding bloody meat cleavers in their hands, he feels strongly that calling them “of Muslim appearance” was impolite.

Angry midget loses it at Madison Square Garden. “[I will] destroy your [expletive] industry,” Michael Bloomberg said to Taxi Club Management CEO Gene Freidman after another one of the mayor’s nanny-state laws was overturned in court. Said Mr. Freidman afterward:

“He was very angry, very scary, very violent in a non-physical way. He was grinding his teeth, he was spitting, he was red, and he was in my face. When we walked away, I asked a friend who was with me, ‘Did the mayor just threaten me?’ My friend responded, ‘No, he threatened you twice.’”

Lois Lerner also harassed conservatives when she worked at the Federal Election Commission. So let’s see: she was in charge of the IRS division that’s been harassing and initimidating conservatives for three years, she lied in previous testimony, she pleaded the fifth today, and she harassed the living crap out of the Christian Coalition in the 1990s… sounds like this woman has earned a cabinet-level promotion, Mr. President! This is your kind of gal!