J.P. Travis

Another boy/girl/boy story. This poor little kid was being raised by his divorced mother as a girl. She claimed he hated his penis. But when a judge removed him from his mother’s presence at age 7, and gave custody to the father, he immediately started acting like a boy. Our conclusion: toss the crazy leftwing mother in prison and throw away the key.

- by J.P. Travis | 5 comments | Share Link

Kim Jong-Un decides not to fire missile at Guam. Stay tuned: later today he might cross the road.

- by J.P. Travis | 5 comments | Share Link

Murkowski and Collins say they voted against Obamacare repeal to protect Planned Parenthood. Congratulations, ladies (and we use that term loosely), on reserving for yourselves an especially warm spot in hell.

- by J.P. Travis | 6 comments | Share Link

Royal Dutch Airlines ad was supposed to support LGBT rights but… oops. Inadvertently, the ad makes the opposite point because which seat belt combination actually works?

- by J.P. Travis | 15 comments | Share Link

Loretta Lynch appears to have committed perjury. In November 2016, under oath, she told Trey Gowdy that she only used her official email account as Attorney General but now we know she used another email account too, under her grandmother’s maiden name.

- by J.P. Travis | 14 comments | Share Link

Boy/girl/man/woman undergoing surgery to switch genders… AGAIN. Here’s the summary as near as we can tell: he was born a boy, decided to be a girl at age 14, in his twenties decided to be a gay man, and now wants to be a woman… again… for now… stay tuned…

- by J.P. Travis | 13 comments | Share Link

TEMPERATURES PLUNGE IN AUSTRALIA!!! No, no, the weather hasn’t changed; they simply stopped tampering with the temperature readings.

- by J.P. Travis | 5 comments | Share Link

New study: at least 45,000 people voted twice in 2016 election. That’s just people voting twice. It doesn’t include dead people votes, illegal alien votes, felon votes, absentee ballot fraud, intentional miscounts, and the blatant wholesale fraud we see in big Democrat cities like Chicago and New York. So just the tip of the iceberg.

- by J.P. Travis | 10 comments | Share Link

Because of Global Warming… a Sharknado could really happen. So says the movie’s Hollywood creator.

- by J.P. Travis | 27 comments | Share Link

National anthem protests biggest reason NFL ratings declined. The only people surprised by this are the nincompoops in suits who run the NFL, who still can’t grasp PV=nRT even after a year and a half of tutoring.

- by J.P. Travis | 8 comments | Share Link

Book burning in Sweden. Swedish libraries, frothing at the mouth to be politically correct, are burning copies of Pippi in the South Seas by Swedish author Astrid Lindgren because the book uses the word “Negro.”

- by J.P. Travis | 24 comments | Share Link

Trump bans transgenders from military… by tweet.

“After consultation with my Generals and military experts, please be advised that the United States Government will not accept or allow…Transgender individuals to serve in any capacity in the U.S. Military. Our military must be focused on decisive and overwhelming…victory and cannot be burdened with the tremendous medical costs and disruption that transgender in the military would entail. Thank you”

Nuclear explosion of screeching, wailing, and figurative hair-pulling in 3… 2… 1…

- by J.P. Travis | 38 comments | Share Link

Cantwell can’t spell. Senator Maria Cantwell (D-WA) brought big cardboard posters to the floor of the Senate to attack Republican healthcare legislation. Unfortunately, she can’t spell. Insert appropriate IQ joke here.

- by J.P. Travis | 9 comments | Share Link

California Democrat (who else?) formally introduces articles of impeachment against Trump. The Mad Cow is strong in this one. You can tell by looking at his face.

- by J.P. Travis | 10 comments | Share Link

Missouri enrollment still declining two years later. You can thank Black Lives Matter. First, a 6’5″ 270-pound black football player said he felt unsafe on campus (even though he’d been there for five years) so the football team refused to play. Then a white journalism professor attacked a white journalism student for taking video of a BLM protest. Then the university president sided with the riffraff and basically surrendered. Now: enrollment is down 35%, seven dorms have been closed, and 400 people laid off. Sounds like just desserts to us.

- by J.P. Travis | 6 comments | Share Link

WMU employee union files labor grievance against herd of goats. IHTM’s humble opinion: if you can be replaced by a goat, you should be too embarrassed to file a grievance.

- by J.P. Travis | 21 comments | Share Link

Fake news networks also faking their ratings. Is everything that comes from the mainstream media a lie? (That was a rhetorical question. We already know the answer. That’s why we hate them.)

- by J.P. Travis | 15 comments | Share Link

Oh look, Pope Francis does irony. An Italian newspaper is reporting that Vatican police had to break up a gay orgy in a flat belonging to the Vatican’s Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith… [wait for it, wait for it] which is in charge of tackling clerical sexual abuse.

- by J.P. Travis | 11 comments | Share Link

Stephen Hawking says Trump will cause 250-degree temps and 100-mph winds. Okay, that’s enough. Can we all just admit what we all know but don’t want to say out loud? that amyotrophic lateral sclerosis causes a deterioration of the mental faculties as well as paralysis? This guy hasn’t been a genius for decades and even before he was sick he was wrong about a lot of stuff. SO STOP REPORTING EVERY IDIOTIC THING HE SAYS LIKE HE’S MOSES.

- by J.P. Travis | 32 comments | Share Link

Trump administration just audited the “ObamaPhone” program. They found a “staggering” amount of fraud and waste.

- by J.P. Travis | 19 comments | Share Link

ISIS suicide bomber suffers from premature detonation. At a going-away party with fellow nutjobs militants, his explosive belt went off, killing himself and the well-wishers. Not a good way to impress 72 virgins.

- by J.P. Travis | 14 comments | Share Link

Many college students are “book virgins.” Meaning they have never in their life read a book from beginning to end. If you were wondering how human civilization will end, now you know.

- by J.P. Travis | 41 comments | Share Link

Donald Trump is NOT under investigation by the FBI. But Bernie Sanders IS and Hillary Clinton WAS. We just thought, since it’s Monday, we’d start the week with a moment of clarity.

- by J.P. Travis | 29 comments | Share Link

Muslims outraged by vendor putting his urine in their drinks. They thought they were drinking camel urine, which was recommended by Muhammad and therefore considered magical. When they found out the vendor was just peeing in their drinks they were really… [wait for it, wait for it] pissed.

- by J.P. Travis | 29 comments | Share Link

CNN retracts another anti-Trump story. It’s like they just make shit up because it’s Thursday. Normal people would be ashamed, or at least embarrassed, but CNN doesn’t seem to be capable.

- by J.P. Travis | 16 comments | Share Link