Author: J.P. Travis

So how’s Michelle Obama doing on that childhood obesity thing? She planted the White House garden and started addressing childhood obesity in February of 2009, then started the government-funded Let’s Move! campaign in February of 2010. Now two studies report the results: oops, the kids are just as fat.

Radical feminist refuses to admit son is a boy. She gave him a gender-neutral name, refused to tell anybody whether “infant” was boy or girl, dresses him in girl’s clothes, and encourages him to play with dolls. We already knew liberalism was a mental disease – now we know it’s contagious and passed down to children.

Could SOPA violate freedom of religion? Wednesday was SOPA blackout day and Thursday the FBI raided and shut down Megaupload, so WWIII is clearly underway. Meanwhile, Sweden has officially recognized file-sharing as a religion, throwing a new twist into the mix.

Socialized medicine wants your brain. Britain’s National Institutes of Health in Dorset has been caught removing children’s brains and storing them in jars. No word on whether Joe Biden spent time in Britain as a youngster.

So THAT’S why Harry Reid is still in Washington! Turns out the city has a law that protects rats as endangered wildlife. In a weird twist, that means Occupy DC has been good for the environment.

Why does Keith “Muslim Brotherhood” Ellison want to outlaw voter identification? Maybe some of those Somali cab drivers at the Mineapolis airport are having trouble voting before they head off to foreign parts to become suicide bombers.

Solyndra to hold bankruptcy auction – taxpayers won’t see a dime. Thanks to our genius Department of Energy Secretary, Steven Chu, who approved rewriting of loan provisions such that the government is subordinated to private investors who (coincidentally) donated heavily to Obama’s presidential campaign. One question: how did this yahoo ever win a Nobel Prize?

Lanny Davis wants Republicans to stop picking on Eric Holder. In step with recent anti-bullying campaigns across the nation, Lanny says it’s unfair to expect the poor guy to remember a “high-risk, politically-motivated, multi-department, multi-agency plot that measured its success in the body count of Mexican citizens.” Gosh, he had other stuff on his mind, ya know?

Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn.) says government regulations CREATE jobs. No kidding, that’s what he thinks. And given his ties to Louis Farrakhan and the Muslim Brotherhood, this is a man whose opinion deserves a certain level of respect. We won’t be specific about what that level is, but you can probably guess.

Al Sharpton and the free $500 stimulus checks. All you have to do is give Al’s National Action Network your name, address, birth date, and social security number. Identity theft? Don’t be paranoid!

Tiny Japanese robot will attempt Ironman Triathlon in Hawaii. Afterward, the tiny little robot will get drunk and plug into the first friendly receptacle he sees, then respond to rumors that he used RGH (Robot Growth Hormone) to bulk up to seven inches.

Trio of Democrats wants to eliminate debt ceiling because it’s dangerous. One of the three is Hank Johnson, the guy who thought Guam might tip over, so obviously the Dems have put their brain trust behind this bill.

Henry Waxman says Jews are only going Republican because “they want to protect their wealth.” Which brings up an interesting philosophical question: can a Jewish congressman be anti-Semitic?

Too much lamb, not enough lion. Ten years ago, at the “Prayer for America” after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, only one lonely Armenian clergyman had the courage to speak the words, “Jesus Christ.”

Sick irony: Libyan rebels backed by black U.S. president massacring blacks. Didn’t Obama say we were bombing Libya to protect innocent civilians?

Panel of scholars reviews facts, says Jefferson did NOT father Sally Hemings’ children. But bureaucrats at Monticello insist that a “consensus” of historians feels otherwise. There’s that word again. “Consensus” is starting to be a synonym for “stupid.”

Small town printing its own money to fight austerity. Hey, the Obama Administration did the same thing – they called it Quantitative Easing 1 and Quantitative Easing 2.

Darwinists’ Dilemma: How can they maintain their facade of being open-minded and scientific while silencing all scientific debate? It’s a $110,000 conundrum, and as usual with liberal conundrums, taxpayers have to pay for it.

Wisconsin Labor Day parade says, “No Republicans allowed.” Those tolerant, all-inclusive, open-minded Democrats strike again.

Global Warming causes mental illness! – We always knew there was a correlation, but didn’t they get the headline backward?

Global Warming strikes again – Mosquitoes disappearing in Africa. Oh, the woes of Global Warming! Scientists say climate change has killed off so many African mosquitoes that researchers can’t test their drugs in some areas… because there are no children left with malaria.