A seven-year old boy found himself at the center of a Alameda County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.
The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with California child custody laws and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he revealed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Oakland Raiders, whom the boy firmly believes are incapable of beating anyone.
NOTE: The staff and management of IHateTheMedia.com regrets this cheap deception. But it’s a funny damn joke that seemed all too believable.
This post was last modified on December 16, 2009
View Comments (6)
I am a paralegal and found this through a search for california child custody cases. I gotta admit, you had me going there for a minute, and I really needed a laugh considering the case I'm researching. Thank you.
If the poor child doesn't mind travelling, the Leafs could take care of him. They're not doing much else currently.
That is not true...they beat my Eagles earlier in the year.
The Pittsburgh Steelers seem headed that way having dropped three in a row and play Oakland this weekend.
The judge also could have awarded custody to the detroit lions. They too are incapable of delivering any sort of beating, and they have a new stadium, in which he could play!
Having dealt with social services before, the kid is generally correct in who he/she should live with.