Car Company Gets U.S. Loan, Builds Cars In Finland

ABC News: Fisker auto company gets U.S. Loan, builds cars in Finland. Their fiskin’ good excuse? “There was no contract manufacturer in the U.S. that could actually produce our vehicle,” the car company’s founder and namesake told ABC News. Why didn’t you get your money from the Finnish taxpayers then? Oh yeah, Finland doesn’t have a doofus like Barack Obama as president to flush taxpayer money down the toilet. Never mind.

Bonfire of the Absurdities: After 35 year career writing software for IBM mainframes, am now self-employed contractor thinking of joining a union and striking for higher wages. Cured morbid fear of heights when I learned to look at them as lengths standing on end. Uncompromising in refusal to accept browser cookies. Amateur investor who has accumulated a small fortune in the market after starting out years ago with a large one. For recreation, I run, hike, kayak and play tennis but will not consider synchronized swimming under any circumstances.

View Comments (48)

  • I smell another Soylent Green here. Or was it Solyandra, I can't remember. Half a billion taxpayer dollars, borrowed from China, to produce a piece of crap that most Americans cannot afford to buy nor would want to.

    We voters not only need to clean out our White House, we to get rid of the fools in the Senate and House too. The Obummer cannot do all this on his own, it takes all the clowns in Washington to do stupid stuff like this.

    • You mean, it takes a village? To back up an idiot? What ever happened to checks and balances?

      • That ended when Democrats re-gained control of the House and Senate after Bush II was elected.

        Everybody praises Bill Clinton because the federal budget was balanced during the majority of his administration but the facts are he had no choice. The House, led by Newt Gingrich, and where all spending bills must originate, through the Senate, led by Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole, sent balanced budgets to the Presidents desk. Clinton had to sign them or veto them and shut the federal govrnment down.

        The President CANNOT do anything by himself, he can only sign or veto the bills that make it to his desk. Blaming the Obummer for all our problems is stupid because he cannot do anything but sign pieces of paper sent to him from the House through the Senate. THAT is where the majoity of our problems come from.

        Ronald Reagan worked with a Democrat lead House and Senate and we saw an economic boom this country had not seen since Eisenhower was President. But, Reagan was a leader, he knew how to get things done. Obama is not a leader, he is a puppet and it shows in how the clowns in both Houses are acting today. Most Americans understand this, look at their approval ratings.

      • He cashed the checks and cooks the balances. All with the stroke of his mighty pen, just like he's gonna do with the jobs bill components his union buddies are going to begin enjoying very soon.

  • I think once I get my green energy loan for my eleventy-eleventy-eleventy flying craft, I'm going to explore this idea a little further. I think I can spin it where the manufacturing will be done in Tahiti. I'm gonna need another loan to build a nice villa... uhm err... I mean, state of the art self sustaining manufacturing facility.

      • I still need thirty grand to grease the skids. If you want in on the ground floor of this, let me know. I might need a guy to manage my R and D facility. We can build that facility wherever it would be most convenient for you, Grand Cayman maybe?

        • Yes, GC would be acceptable. Perhaps a lab in 60 or 70 feet of the Caribbean for some tech research. Some new SCUBA gear would be required. Yes, I'd be happy to conduct this operation for very, very little compensation, once the air is under the wing as it were.

          • I just got off the phone with the people at Mares. They are interested in the eleventy-eleventy-eleventy-undersea-personal-global-warming-affects-on-sea-levels research vehicle I pitched at them, or the EEEUPGWAOSL RSV for short. They want an address to send the gear to. I told them you have a staff of 20.

            I sure hope I get my 500 million from the gubmint BEFORE they try to cash that eleventy thousand dollar check I wrote to the DNC. I didn't sign it, so that should buy me an extra week......

          • Staff will be at 20 in short order. Do they all need different SS numbers? The address is PO Box 11DX3, Key Largo, FL, 33037. I'll have my peeps there make sure to handle the cargo container for us. The 'Eeupgwasel' name might need a little masnaging but the code fits.
            I can't imagine they'd delay your request. I'll get on the blower to the designer at Mares. He's a Finnish fellow used to be the champ at Suunto. Prolly gonna want him to be onsite development engineer, too.

            I think we should consider Dragonfish' location option as a second point for this venture. Likely well inside the budget. Gonna need a couple helis. I have one pilot on staff. Be nice if we could req a Kiowa. He's real handy with that frame. Weaponry in mothballs so we can rig one out real quick!

          • Thank you for the consideration.
            My second bid for the job of Lead Procurement Officer is the recommendation for a Sea Stallion, surplus purchase - D model, as the second chopper (heavy lift, rear ramp, large cargo/passenger area, weapon/sonar-buoy capable, external fuel tanks, rescue/emergency transport, etc.). Also have a lead on Skycranes (CH-54A's converted to S-64E's) if such is needed. Should be able to find an ex-Navy pilot from one of the logging operations here in the NW able to handle both the Sea Stallion and the Skycrane.
            Need to consider a research ship too. Wide beam catamaran with center lift platform, Hamilton Jet driven, Heli-pad, 130' to 150' in length, accommodations for 40 +crew (?) or would you prefer a floating dry-dock type vessel with comparable accommodations. Electronics can be fitted according to needs.
            Let me know if I have the position, more ideas on hold until then.

            Sincerely,
            Dragonfish

          • I'm gonna have to send the DNC another eleventy grand in order to procure another 500 million dollar loan. Deanh, thanks for pointing out the need to 'massage' EEUPGWAOSL RSV. You just got promoted to head of the Acronym Management Office. I'm putting AMO in Vail, Co. Dragonfish, as VP of aviation, you're gonna need to find a G5 to shuttle Dean between Vail and GC. Get us three of them and the choppers. You think 150' is a big enough boat? I'd really like something big enough to run out and sink those Whale Wars pussies on the Steve Irwin. Maybe get an Exocet or two, that way we don't have to scratch our paint.

          • Buy and run the company? You got it!!
            I will possibly need help interviewing models, any volunteers?

          • (mumbles under her breath as she walks away) A girl cannot help it if she's got 'em lined up around the block ;). (Joking again)

          • Aiyiyi, You need more than one? Ok, but no more than four. We need to avoid that corporate culture of greed and corruption image, so be discreet. Only one boytoy allowed in public when in port. Keep the rest of them in the closet unless you are out of sight of land. Put em on the books as personal valets or butlers. Salary commensurate with performance. But these guys don't get per diem.

          • Brilliant choice Pop. Buy the company, you're running it though. RHG, sorry, I just wanted to nip it in the bud before we had an issue. You know how aggressive women can get when you put them on the sea....in a thong. I just didn't want you to come back 'damaged' is all. Get with legal and sign the waivers, I don't this one coming back and biting me on the hindquarters. Get in touch with drb and see where she needs you most. I'm getting a certain vibe from her memos that she intends to have a "cabin boy" at her disposal, so exercise discretion. And consider yourself warned.

          • Harassment? Really? I promise that if the Elite Guard harasses me in any way, I won't report it to ANYONE. And I DO concur with your choice of uniforms.

          • Thank you for the promotion.
            Hope you have set up several 'dummy' corporations with multiple international bank accounts! If so, you should be able to 'game the system' (kite) with a few checks for a couple of months. Just keep covering the checks from a different account, at a different bank, in a different country, with no direct affiliation to a previously used bank. Be sure to close the accounts immediately after the checks clear and stay one step ahead of the transfers! Might want to 'put out a call' to YKW for the S/W to take care of it.
            As to the aircraft.
            Purchase or Lease/Option? Each have there pro's and con's. Lease/Option is quicker.
            Can have a G5 available in Florida, for Dean, as soon as deposit is made.
            As for the others the Bells' are fairly common, the Skycranes just take a phone call and the Sea Stallions will take a few days to find properly outfitted ones.
            Recommended starting quantities:
            2 each of the Bell's
            1 each of the Sea Stallions and the Skycrane. With the Skycrane on a stand-by status.
            As for the Ships, here are some examples that are on the market.
            Support Ship: Chopper Base, Tanker, Maintenance Vessel
            http://www.boattrader.com/listing/1982-Custom-Offshore-Maintenance-Vessel-97761540
            Research Ship: Independent Deployment (cover operation)
            http://www.boattrader.com/listing/1965-Custom-Research-Vessel-95736214
            Command Ship: Party Ho!
            http://www.boattrader.com/listing/2007-Lurssen--97193013
            EEUPGWAOSL RSV Deployment/Recovery Ship: Need two, after refitting for air and sub versions; 3 (min) to 4 (ideal) 'RSV' capacity each.
            http://www.boattrader.com/listing/2000-Derecktor-41-Meter-High-Speed-Catamaran-99696271
            The Exocet, Harpoon, so-on may be over kill to start with, the RSV's should be capable of handling the 'Whale Huggers' (get them from below), with the choppers running interference from above until the flying version is ready.
            Future Project: Tesla based MHD propulsion system for the RSV's Sub version.
            That should cover the prelim's.
            Keep me posted as to when the loan has gone through. Will start the ball rolling as soon as funds are available for payments.

            Could use some help. Say, a staff of 5? or can I steal some of Dean's? Would help, as I can't be in multiple places at the same time and when the funds come through it's going to get real busy!

            Thanks.
            Time to go. Have to drop GF at work, then go deer hunting/elk scouting. Later DF.

            PS. ROFLMAO

          • A sarong would work. I only need one but I'll grab a few for my friends too. Turquoise seems to be my color.

          • No sweat. Dean has managed to find some really nice silk sarongs that match, from his textile guy in Bangkok. He managed to get a shipping container of them. Buying in bulk brought the price down to a measly 17,032 USD each. Again, we'll write this expense off, so feel free to grab a bundle of them when you see Dean. They'll make nice stocking stuffers for Christmas. I plan on having four of them stitched ( might go with five) together as a gift for Michelle when we visit the WH.

          • Uh...I might need more than one of those...then I might be able to patch them together to uhm better cover my uhm...assets. You know...I've got to leave somethg to the imagination!

          • I've made a board level decision and have come up with the Elite Guard dress uniform to be worn while aboard the ships. http://wickedweasel.com/en/shop/bikinis/buy/449-Y06-312 . Of course we intend to have a uniform optional policy while at sea. Babydoll, the company does not feel a need to provide vacation time to the employees. Our 2 weeks on/6 weeks off policy should provide adequate time off any occasion that you need time for. Access to all company aviation assets is available for all to enjoy during days off as well. These two policies should eliminate the need for any vacation time off. Drb, don't sweat getting your nails done, my personal assistant is a manicurist and has offered services to all while aboard ship. This her, http://wickedweasel.com/en/shop/bikinis/buy/474-Y01-329 . Be sure to tip well and be nice to her, she is really a shy nerdy type.

            Oh, don't click the second link if you are a shy nerdy type.....

          • Oh that is a good point Drb. I hate paper cuts.

            Have fun getting you nails done! I suggest something goulish, since Halloween is right around the corner. Maybe with black light decals. ;)

          • What!?! You don't want to be part of the Elite Guard and stand around looking pretty!?! You want to actually work and risk getting a paper cut or breaking a nail!?! Oh, that reminds me...I gotta go get my nails did.

          • Sounds like you may need a professional records shredder, I mean secretary. I can shred 100 documents per hour, but would require at least 4 paper shredders to do so. I also have a tough time comprehending anything business/economics/non-Entertainment News oriented materials. Therefore I would have no interest in reading anything which is being disposed of, assuming I can comprehend it in the first place.

            I will be requiring a 6 figure salary, since I will be paying a higher percentage in taxes than the CEO, also a month of paid vacation. And a great medical insurance plan, including loss of appendages due to a shredding incident and coverage of tendinitis of the elbow. I am available immediately, Monday-Friday, 8am til 5pm, respectively. :)

          • Welcome aboard drb! This isn't a free ride, so consider yourself the new senior VP of corporate travel. Get with dragonfish for a list of company vehicles. If you need your own jet let him know that the board has approved the expense, so go pick one out.
            Poppajoe, feel free to sample the malted beverage selection as required. Rockinghorseguy, no you can't be in charge of the Elite Guard. If I get wind of a sexual harrassment suit, we'll sell you to the Somali pirates as a sex slave. I do appreciate the initiative though.

            DeanH, outstanding work as usual. I made the right choice promoting you. WH shindig is Nov.22nd. Clear your schedules for this one. It should prove to be quite the blow out. Regards, MGAP

          • P.S. If our secret benefactor, the one in D.C., ever insists on coming by to inspect the facilities, please ask that he leave the wife at home. Fatcakes will NOT be served in the galley, and we don't want her to eat all the tamales. Thank you.

          • The pay for the job or icing down malt beverages and operating assorted vehicles seems quite fair. In addition to my regular duties, I volunteer to oversee the team of crew members whose duties involve standing around looking pretty. I assume these will be known at the Elite Guard, and will be wearing exceedingly short and tight khaki skirts, with double bandoleers across their cushiony bosoms?

          • My trip to Bangkok and the Netherlands for the new hemp sport coat lead me to a meeting in Kuala Lumpur with a gentleman from Madagascar by way of New Zealand who's company produces a wide array of hemp clothing and textile goods. Among the assorted spiffy sport coats and tuxedos we've acquired for the little party in D.C. there are a few containers en rout to Grand Cayman, Vail and St. Georges Inner Harbor Seaport delivering very attractive jumpsuits,three piece and G-suits, monkeysuits, uniforms - both battle dress and cheerleader - as well as a full line of business suits for all personnel affiliated with this venture. These will be provided to each of us in our respective operational positions and for our families, and will be tailored to suit by the fine people that will man the shops, included in our purchase price of 1.78 million Euro. The language barrier will be overcome by respective translators provided in each facility as well.

            This opportunity arose and was at such a great discount I took the initiative to arrange this assuming the rapid growth of our staff and this shindig at the WH coming up pressed me into action. I've been promised that none of these fine items were manufactured by any of the numerous child laborers used by the various companies. That would have been wrong. So we covered the premium to assure handling only by people 15 years old and over who work no more than 12 hours per day.

            One more thing; they threw in 1,000 pair of assorted Oakley shades at cost, which are to be dispersed among the cargo containers with the clothing. I hope these are cool ones!

            What is the date of the get together again?

          • Do you need someone or 5 to stand around and look sorta pretty? That falls under an advertising expense doesn't it? There's plenty to choose from around here: KQ, Barb, sa_rose/Deb, babydoll, oh and whose that other one...Sugarbritches/Cheer Barbie or whatever she gets called. ;)

          • malted beverage icing technician

            I meant to ask, is "Iced Malted Beverage Consumption Technician" part of my job description?

          • Mr. Rockinghorseguy,
            Thanks for your interest in crewing on the Lurssen. Our fulltime crew positions are currently all filled. We could use some part time help if interested. We need a malted beverage icing technician that can also handle a GAU-8/A . I've had a dual mount onfiguration installed for the northern Africa portion of the Med cruise. We'll have a GE tech rep on board your flight to Instanbul to brief you on the system, should you accept the part time position being offered.
            The compensation package will only start at 393,000 USD. Good news is we provide a full benefits package for all employees, full or part time. A per diem of 1800 USD/day kicks in as soon as the wheels of the G5 hit the wheelwells and stays in effect until you hit US soil. Should you prove yourself uselful to the Hospitality Director onboard the Lurssen, full time employment will be considered. Send me you resume and I'll forward it to our hiring people. Regards, MGAP

            P.S. After refitting the boat to our specs, we plan on taking an extended cruise off the coast of Somalia. An anti-piracy bonus will kick in for every craft you sink uhm, I mean every craft repelled during said trip. It's worth noting that our refit will include a mural of Mohammed kissing the backside of a pig on the side of the boat. The bonus could be a real moneymaker for an enterprising individual.

          • I'm not exactly an executive kind of guy, but if you need any extra crew members on that Lurssen, I can be ready to fly to Istanbul tomorrow.

          • I have an idea for the logo. We could make something along the lines of one of those android smileys winking.

          • As chairman o' the Board, I really don't like to interfere with the day to day decisions of running the company. But I gotta say PoppaJoe seems like a guy we need. A little advice on branding our superconductor division if I may. You need a hip looking, green themed logo to put out there for public adoration. We need to appear trendy/chic/green to the public so we don't get Redford and a bunch of OWS types milling about the facility in Vail carrying signs. Never mind the other sites as these people can't afford a plane ticket to get to them. We had an incident today here in the islands with a couple native fellas carrying "yankee go home" signs. Security "dispatched" them in a timely manner and word has spread throughtout the area that we're making shark food, if you know what I mean. Our actions might be a tad more restricted at other locations, so I figured we should be proactive with our branding.

            We've been invited to the WH for a fundraiser and birthday party for someone ( I forget who ). They want to highlight (exploit) our little company and the success we've managed to generate with a little gov't help. All company officers and their wives are expected to attend. I've hired Carson from "Queer eye" to go as my date just to fuck with Barry. He gets a bonus of 1 million dollars if I can get a photo of him kissing Obama on the lips. Please tell accounting to cut the check as Carson is a really enthusiastic and determined fellow. I've arranged to have Prozac, Vicodin and tequila in the limos so that we can all get in the proper "mindset" for the event. If that won't do it, the limo company has agrred to also let us sniff model airplane glue if we promise not to get any on the leather upholstery. See you there, MGAP

          • Let me see. I will now do a little math in consideration of the superconductor suggestion...

            2,000,000,000 USD

            That was less difficult than I thought it would be. Absolutely no problem PoppaJoe. This amount should cover the first fiscal quarter anyway, right? I have a few request forms left over and the actually have three more digits to the left of the decimal in the event we have some over runs. The atmosphere is depending on us to save it. All we need to accomplish this is more money.

          • Am I too late to get in on this? I believe that we can convince the government that we are close to a breakthrough on a high temp superconductor, which will be the basis for the flight and propulsion of the craft. It should be good for an extra 2 billion for research when we explain that there were cost overruns. A little extra time to solve the problem would make all the difference while we split up the funds between the Caymans and Switzerland. Don't want to keep all that cash in one place!

          • With the unfortunate circumstance that forces me to assume the position I must now assume, we will first give blessings to MGAP and his family for the wonderful task that he handled with the greatest of skill and his passion for all mankind. My burden now will increase but I shall not shy from it. With Dragonfish and the rest of the people we have here, this undertaking will succeed as it was envisioned by all Americans . The self-sustaining ability of this, the greenest shade of green projects will successfully bring the US back to the forefront of all developmental sciences. Once the balance of funding is approved, America will see herself brightly shining the light of liberty on all the peoples of the world without any shame on any of these marvelous corporations we will establish to support the EEUSBWthingy. We promise 750,000,000 jobs in the coastal areas of the continental US and another 3,000% for each of the 57 or 58 other states, once the check clears. Our budget at this time did not allow for any superfluous spacing or paragraphs.

          • Mr. Dragonfish,
            I'm impressed with your no nonsense, proactive approach to business. I am promoting you to CEO of EEUPGWAOSL RSV; INC, effective immediately. DeanH will be promoted to President and CFO.

            The stress of running the business for the last 30+ hours has taken and emotional and physical toll on me and my family. I'm resigning and handing over the reins to you guys to run with. I'll remain in the loop as Chairman of the Board of Directors. My wife and two girls will fill the remaining three board seats. In order for EEUPGWAOSL RSV; INC. to fulfill the financial obligations of my contract, you might hold off on cashing any checks until the next loan comes in. We're set for all financial outlays discussed to date, but future expansion will need to wait until Monday when the next loan hits the bank. It's amazing how fast we burned through 970 million dollars. I'm just glad the current admin. in D.C. is so pro-business and not real nitpicky with all that "accounting stuff." Best wishes and will see you guys at the next board meeting. I've rented the Bellagio for that week and will look forward to seeing the gang all together again. Godspeed, MGAP

  • Well look, Shovel ready jobs for FINLAND. I guess the president of the world figures they need our money too.

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