Category: 2019 News

Weekly Thread 5/11/17 to 5/18/17. Democrats get whiplash flipping after Trump fires Comey.

Cal State Poly professor worried about racial and gender bias against squirrels. In fact, she wrote a research paper on the subject entitled, “When ‘Angelino’ squirrels don’t eat nuts: a feminist posthumanist politics of consumption across southern California.” Uh huh, yep.

Nasty Thugs Attempt Drive-By Shooting, Texas Homeowner Has Other Plans. Confucious say “In Texas they shoot back dummies.”

BREAKING: Trump Fires Comey Closeau. Looks like Comey Clouseau’s gambit to keep his job by investigating this phantom Russian collusion/hacking -while ignoring surveillance abuses from the O Duce White House- has not panned out. Expect the tin foil left to come up with some theory about why Trump “really” fired him while maintaining the exact opposite tin foil theory in regards to Comey ruining HRC’s chances at being president. On that note there is one very important thing to mention and since we might not be able to mention it again we are going to mention it now: Comey Clouseau didn’t keep Hillary out of the White House, Comey Clouseau kept Hillary out of jail.

Yates: I told White House Flynn could be vulnerable to blackmail. If Gates is this worried about Flynn and a telephone call we can hardly imagine how worried she must be about Hillary Clinton and the 30,000 emails Russia could blackmail her with.

ACLU lawyer has real bad day in court. Omar Jadwat, at the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals, was trying to attack the president’s executive order limiting travel, but for the first time he was talking to judges who didn’t get their law degrees from the back of a Cheerio box. Omar did not fare well.

Chris Pine Does SNL Spoof of 60’s Era Star Trek: If Pine had given a performance like this during his first Star Trek movie we might have stuck around the second.

Feds in Florida: Burlington College Probe Goes the Distance. Why did Bernito Sanders do an about face and throw his support behind the Wall-street Candidate that rigged the election against him? Perhaps he was hoping President Hillary would be willing to pull a Loretta Lynch style cover up for his wife.

FBI Found New Email Suggesting Lynch Made Sure Clinton Email Probe ‘Didn’t Go Too Far’: Once again it is being shown that if Nixon had been a democrat the Watergate Affair would have ended with Deep-throat going to jail.

Tweet from social media coordinator at UC Berkeley’s Undocumented Student Program:

“Let’s celebrate [Cinco] de Mayo by going to Dolores Park and beating the shit out of white people…”

Ellen DeGeneres: Trump Not Welcome On My Show: Yes, but will she be expected to bake him a cake?

https://youtu.be/vUn8MuKaOxQ

Emmanuel Macron hacked emails: French media ordered by electoral commission not to publish content of messages Journalists could face criminal charges for violating laws preventing influence on vote Despite the best efforts of allied forces France appears to still be under Vichy control. Note: Yes, we realize Vichy was only in “control” of the south.

Happy Cinco de Mayo! Actually we don’t really know when Cinco de Mayo is because using the Gregorian Calendar would be cultural appropriation.

Comey: Wikileaks Is ‘Intelligence Porn,’ Not ‘Legitimate’ News. It is not Comey Clouseau’s job to define for us what is and what is not the news. It is Comey Clouseau’s job to investigate, with an eye to stopping, criminal activity. Thanks to Wikileaks we all know that he failed at this job. It seems very likely that is the real reason he does not want us paying attention to them.

Seth Meyers: ‘Republicans Are Lying Through Their Teeth’ About Health Care Bill “Everything that Paul Ryan claimed to hate about the Obamacare process in 2009, he’s doing now.” And everything Seth Meyers hates about what Paul Ryan is doing now he did not hate about Nancy Pelosi doing in 2010. On the bright side Seth Meyer’s odious lack of self-awareness about his hypocrisy on the subject of hypocrites is far more hilarious than any monologue he’s ever delivered.

Daily newspaper columnist who defended NRA quits after suspension. So much for the St. Louis Post Birdcage Liner. Maybe some nice gun magazine will hire her.

Republicans in House pass Obamacare replacement bill. Apparently they had to pass it so the rest of us could see what’s in it.

Bill Nye erases chromosomes. In 1996 while making his Bill Nye the Science Guy show, he explained how gender is determined by the X and Y chromosomes. But that’s politically incorrect now. We’re supposed to believe gender is determined by how we feel. So Netflix, where his new show Bill Nye Saves the World resides, erased the chromosome information before uploading that 1996 episode.

Weekly Thread 5/3/17 to 5/10/17. Congressional quagmire week. Some things are not going smoothly.

California Homeowner Grabs Gun and Camera to Teach Burglars a Lesson. Take away Jerry Brown’s and Gavin Newsom’s armed protection and see how long they like being unarmed.

Black conservative columnist suspended by St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Stacy Washington’s crime was defending the NRA from a guest columnist’s comparison of the gun-rights organization to ISIS. “When has a member of the NRA ever decapitated, set on fire, tossed from a rooftop or otherwise terrorized another American?” she asked in her response column, and apparently the rag she worked for didn’t have a good answer.

What is peer-reviewed literature saying about the climate? 58 new scientific papers have already been published in 2017 linking climate changes to solar variations. 58. Climate affected by the sun, who woulda thunk it?

It’s Come to This: State Department Issues Summer Travel Warning For Europe Over Islamic Terror Threat. All you European tourist businesses make sure to send a special thank you card to Herr Merkel for bringing in the religion of pieces.

The classy sophisticated humor of Stephen Colbert:

“Mr. President, I love your presidency, I call it ‘Disgrace The Nation.’”

“You’re the glutton with the button. You’re a regular ‘Gorge Washington.’ You’re the ‘presi-dunce’ but you’re turning into a real ‘prick-tator.”

“You talk like a sign-language gorilla that got hit in the head.”

“In fact, the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin’s cock holster.”

Dozens of Russian deaths cast suspicion on Vladimir Putin: When asked for a comment on this troubling assertion Bill and Hillary promptly responded, “Amateur.”