Remember those ants you burned up with a magnifying glass when you were a kid? Well, their descendants could have you arrested for murder if a group of eco-wackos have their way.
Sign On San Diego has the strange story:
In an effort to ban everything from drilling oil to incinerating garbage, about a dozen communities across the country have adopted ordinances that give nature legal standing and water down the rights of businesses.
The long-debated philosophy could face court challenges. But it has gained traction among those who believe the environment needs greater protection, even while critics ridicule the thought of arming bugs with legal rights against foes such as lawn mowers.
Long debated? Debated by whom? Certainly not by anyone rational.
“What if nature had rights?” said Shannon Biggs, with Global Exchange. “What if the Amazon could sue an oil company for environmental damage?”
You’re not thinking big enough, Shannon. Why stop with nature suing man? The logical extension of giving rights to nature is that one part of nature will turn around and sue another. Next thing you know we’ll have flowers suing bees for stealing their pollen. We’ll have trees suing dogs for peeing on them. And eventually the tables will be turned and we’ll end up with a case in which a man sues a dog for humping his leg. The man will claim sexual assault and the dog’s defense will be, “He never said no, he just said ‘down boy.'” The world is spiraling out of control, damn it.
…Proponents, however, say they recognize their burgeoning movement may take some time to get results. Looking past the bug jokes and mocking poems, Price and others see their struggle to give nature legal standing as comparable to another historic effort that was years in the making.
“It took hundreds of challenges,” he said, “before racial segregation was overturned as the law of the land.”
No, Shannon, the plight of plants is even worse than racism. Just last night we ate some broccoli. That’s cannibalism, damn it.
Source: SignOnSanDiego.com
This post was last modified on December 9, 2010
View Comments (19)
Is there a standing requirement, or can anybody play?
I for one would be very happy to file a suit on behalf of flowers against those pollen-stealing bees! And for only a 45% cut, too...
Brilliant! A class action lawsuit. John Edwards has some free time on his hands, so maybe he'd be interested in representing the flower community.
perlcat-Spitzer's reward for being a cad, a douchebag, and a john edwards-esque scumbag is a lifetime appointment to the appellate court, with a 200K a year salary, and a pension that starts before the lifetime appointment stops paying a yearly salary.
that is the chicago/democrat way!
Just think what Obama will get when he's voted out after his first and only term.
All rise. The 7th circuit court of the arboretum is now in session.
The honorable judge elliot spitzer presiding.
Mr. Saguaro, you have been sworn, I have read your testimony. Is it still your intention to litigate mr Jumping Cholla, for the civil tort of shooting his spines into you on March 17, 2010?
Jes Jur Honor.
Mr. Jumping Cholla, you have been sworn, and I have read your testimony. Is it still your defense that over the course of the last 326 years, that Mr. Saguaro has grown so tall, that he blocks all of your sunlight, and you wish to countersue on those grounds, specifically US Code 976(a), The blocked sunlight law?
Jes Jur Honor.
Then I will continue this case for 90 days, to give both parties time for discovery. The court is adjourned.
I hear that Spitzer had his hands on some illicit wood, and had to step down from the bench.
OK I personally dislike civil rights or race to be brought up for every attempt at equalizing everything and everyone from gay rights to this nonsense. It is absurd on so many levels.
Wassamatter, Kimmy?! You don't like being compared to a plant? Don't you know that they are superior to us humans?
U are exactly right. This moral relativism business is getting out of hand.
So let me get this straight.
First, the wacko's wanted us to stop eating the poor defenseless animals and turn to the "healthy" lifestyle of a vegan. Right?
But now, they want us to stop "hurting" the poor defenseless plants? Wouldn't eating them be hurting them?
Um...so what are we supposed to eat now?
I may love meat, but I am no cannibal...I would like to keep my sanity!
Yeah, I'd say it's about time for a second Revolutionary War.
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants... and left-wing wackos that want to afford rights to flora and fauna.
Mr. Rododendron, can you tell the court the precise time you saw the gardener molest the lilieace by repeatedly touching the basifixed stamens, and pushing back the sepals and tepals, thus exposing the soft endosperm?
And Mr. Rododendron, is that horticulturalist in this courtroom today, and if so, can you please point to him with one of your branches.
Let the record show that Mr. Rododendron pointed to Mr. Jimenez.
Mr. Rododendron, in your testimony earlier, you said Mr. Jimenez also used soil not acidic enough for your species. You stated that Mr. Jimenez must have thought you were an R. Arborem, rather than R. Falconeri. What led you to make this accusation, and at what time did you start to wilt due to this heinous use of soil above a ph of 5.5?
A brilliant analogy, msh, considering that those desiring to confer rights on plants and animals are BLOOMIN' IDIOTS!
I expect Mr. Rhododendron would be testifying via a court-appointed, taxpayer-funded interpreter. More SEIU jobs!
Awww...been there, done that.
The Arrogant Worms: "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmK0bZl4ILM"
I hope she's not a vegetarian.
Vegtables already have the right to vote. Who else is brain dead enough to love Obama?
Tell these wacos that nature can go to court but isn't allowed to hire high-priced liberal lawyers for a portion of the loot. That would stop this crap dead in its tracks.
The Romans had it right. Every few years they would just kill off all the politicians and lawyers and start again.