God bless the Joffrey Ballet

God bless the Joffrey Ballet. Today I flew from Los Angeles to Chicago for a business meeting. The Joffrey Ballet company was on the same flight. Thank you, God, for ballerinas. I have never seen such a remarkable collection of great asses in my life. Yes, I know this has absolutely nothing to do with hating the media, but it has everything to do with loving incredibly tight, shapely derrieres the Arts. And now back to your regular programming.

This post was last modified on February 4, 2013

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  • To quote the Moody Blues

    Breath deep the gathering gloom
    Watch lights fade from every room
    Bedsitter people look back and lament
    Another days useless energy spent

    Impassioned lovers wrestle as one
    Lonely man cries for love and has none
    New mother picks up and suckles her son
    Senior citizens wish they were young

    Cold hearted orb that rules the night
    Removes the color from our sights
    Red is gray and yellow white
    But we decide which is right and which is an illusion .

  • Awright, my flying story. I have flown many many business miles. My experience is exactly like JP's. Beauty after beauty goes by and then here comes Tons-o-Fun waddling down the aisle to sit next to me. BUT, once I got on a flight, cursing my luck because I had an middle seat. But lo and behold, as I approached my row, up ahead were two lovely's. One in the aisle and one in the window seat. YES!! It was my row.
    However, almost immediately upon takeoff they both started puking and puked all the way to our destination.

    • Lovely. I keep tellingguys, looks are one thing, but they won't hang around forever, and sometimes not even 24/7. Look for the beautiful woman within as well pr in place of the hot outside.

      • True, but the loveliness will last the length of the flight, unless of course the Lovely starts puking.

  • Last time I flew, I got stuck next to Carrie Fisher. Talk about the opposite of your great fortune.. And she not only smelled like my grandmother-she looked like her too. Damn, some guys have all the luck!

    • Getting stuck beside Carrie Fischer was a learning moment. Remember how she looked in the gold bikini thing at Jabba's crib? Take a good look at her now. That is what happens to maybe 75% of women once they are full grown (not lanky teens) and have lived a life, had a few kids, a few drinks and way too much comfort food to deal with their lives.

      • Yeah, she was only 20 when the first one came out, probably 26 or 27 when Return of the Jedi was released. Jabba knew how he liked his slave girls to dress! Jabba, he was a he, right? She was awful cute though! She was brought up to be a jaded and spoiled brat. She became a successful boozer and pill popper. At least she hasn't croaked it on a pile of coke or heroin... yet.

          • I stand corrected. In one of her interviews they made the connection between her age at debut, and her mom's. Guess they fudged a bit. Liars.

          • Well, that's different math than they taught me in 1963. She was born in October 1956 according to our favorite place, wikipedia -
            Carrie Frances Fisher (born October 21, 1956) is an American actress, novelist, screenwriter, and performance artist. She is best known for her portrayal of Princess Leia in the original Star Wars trilogy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrie_Fisher
            And -
            The first film in the series was originally released on May 25, 1977, under the title Star Wars, by 20th Century Fox, and became a worldwide pop culture phenomenon, followed by two sequels, released at three-year intervals. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars

            You can find this -
            At the age of 19, Fisher was offered the role of Princess Leia, even though at 5-foot-1 and 105 pounds she was told she was too fat for the part. She took the role, but, she told Lauer, had she known how big the movie would be, “I would never have done it. All I did when I was really famous was wait for it to end.” -
            here - http://www.nbcnews.com/id/28158582/site/todayshow/ns/today-entertainment/t/carrie-fisher-i-wish-id-turned-down-star-wars/#.URRT9PI1N_g

            So, not 18.

          • Too fat? She was adorable in the first movie.. Of course I didn't appreciate her until junior high, when Slave Leia came on the scene. But I know she was curvy under that princess garb

          • Wellcome to Hollyweird. The Carrie you saw had lost the "extra" weight. Hollyweird is the birthplace of anorexia, bulemia, laxative use and diet pills. They did the same thing to Judy Garland and she ended up a dope popping fiend. Oh, wait. So did Carrie. No one looks normal in Hollywood, any more than models do. And another reason why most actresses after say, mid 20's have difficulty getting parts. As teens they are bone thin, but as they get older, they acquire more womanly bodies and are considered too fat. So they get plastic surgery, a personal trainer, a personal chef to try and stave off the inevitable. Aging.

          • Agreed.. i've had a theory about the runway models.. the fashion designer community is overly represented by gay men, who prefer the boyish loss of curves. I know, i know.. the clothes are supposed to hang better and all that.. HOGWASH, i like my theory

            As for Hollywood, its clear that the curvier actresses get a lot more buzz and drool out of the boys.. think Scarlett Johansson, Olivia Wilde, or Christina Hendricks.. Cuz they look like girls.. err, real womenz

            So perhaps they make the girls jealous, and audience share is lost. So we end up with Julia Roberts, who really does nothing for any guy I know

          • The idea behind modeling is to be a human hangar for the clothes. The idea of a beautiful model is fairly recent. They used to be simply a way to display the clothes. Since all women are built a little differently, the extreme thinness wards off issues with fit from model to model. One of my sisters used to model, and her build is very boyish; flat breasted, narrow hipped, long legs. Her clothes look fabulous on her, with no lumps bumps or pulling area. Now with the desire for more breasts on these women, the style for blouses has become a stretched, one size to small look. Its ugly, but it reduces the competition for the gay designers.

          • I can go to WalMart right now and find a better looking woman than Julia Roberts.

            And WalMart is closed for the night.

            Not that I don't LOVE slim women, I just see JR as not so hot looking.

          • I find Ms. Byron to have buckets of hotness to spare. Can't seem to locate any citation on the googly places of her Ewok work, but recall her talking to the guys on Mythbusters about her doing that. She woulda been 5 or 6 years old. One of hundreds of little furballs in the movie. Doubt any of em got a credit.

          • I remember when they scanned her derriere.. years ago it seems now.. was sitting there watching with wifey and all I could do was give her a strained look and say "ITS SCIENCE!"

      • In Fisher's case, there was a lot more than drinks and comfort food involved. She talks about the drug issues in her autobiography. I have two degrees of separation from her (I won't get into how because I don't want to piss off the person who occasionally tells me stories about her). Fisher is now providing a home for Michael Jackson's bankrupt former dermatologist (with whom I had dinner one night). I don't really know any of these people nor hang around in their circles, but I have a friend who does.

    • I have terrible luck on planes. Once I sat there watching beautiful woman after beautiful woman walk by, rooting for every sngle one of them to be my seatmate, then suddenly in walked Bertha Butt, so wide she could barely navigate the aisle, and I just knew it was fate. When she sat next to me she spilled over the arm rests forcing me to practically crawl out the window.

      • Since we're trading flying stories here, I have two more that fall on opposite sides of the scale.

        Many years ago (long before Mrs Editor) I attended a cousin's wedding in Kalispell, Montana. Turns out there was a Playboy magazine shoot going on in town and I spent a week prowling the town with my cousin's buddies in search of the bunnies. Never found them. When I flew home I got seated next to one of the bunnies. Let's just say we became close. I still have photos of her sitting on my lap in the Salt Lake City airport during a stopover.

        ON the other hand, I was on a jam-packed flight to Fiji once and got seated next to a woman whose girth vastly exceeded the width of her seat (in other words, she overlapped into my seat). The only time her baby stopped crying was when she breastfed it. "This must be what hell is like," I thought to myself. A stewardess felt sorry for me about halfway across the Pacific and moved me to a seat in first class.

        • Okay I flew to Rochester New York once, the flight out of Chitcago was fine until the pilot decided to turn the plane so people could view Niagara falls, the stewardess happened to be getting me a soda at the time and ended up in my lap..she was a very nice stewardess, however she was seriously pissed at the pilot and I believed used the phrase boy wonder to describe him, after we landed in New York, the pilot and co-pilot stood by the front exit to thanks us for flying united, the pilots uniform didn't fit well and he looked about 12 years old, the co-pilot was about 80 years old, I see what she meant about "boy wonder"....and the best part even though she fell in my lap, not a drop of the coke she was holding for me spilled.......

          • Speaking of Coke, I was so jammed into my window seat because the fat bastard sitting next to me was spilling into my personal space that my elbow hit the plane when I reached for my brand new Coke and I spilled it into my lap, where the Coke and ice puddled under my ass. The flight just took off, the drink cart was still in the aisle, I couldn't get out, I couldn't stand up, I sat in my Coke puddle all the way from D.C. to Reno, Nevada... wondering the whole time if that much exposure to Coke would pickle my manhood for life.

          • My wife's father is very ill. She's flown to Kansas twice this month. Every time she's had Fat Bastard next to her. On the last flight back she upgraded so she didn't get squished.

        • By the way, when I was still a teenager I drove to Florida (from Michigan) with my friend who wanted to meet the father who abandoned him when he was a baby. His father took us to the Playboy Club in Miami where my hormones and devastatingly good looks managed to snag me a DATE with a bunny, a Puerto Rican beauty whose assets defied gravity by somehow staying confined in her garmetry while she served us drinks. I was so proud I could barely stop bragging all night. My friend hated me out of pure jealousy. The next day when the bunny found out our "sailing" date meant I was going to rent a Sunfish, not yachting on a fifty-foot cruiser with shrimp cocktails and martinis, she cancelled the date. Then I had to listen to my friend rub it in all the way back to Michigan.

      • Most of the time when I fly, I am with my wife. This makes the chance of having a cute young thing like this sit next to me, impossible.
        I am tall, have long legs, and need the aisle seat so that I can stretch my legs during the flight. She is shorter and takes the middle seat. Anyone else we sit with gets the window.
        We mostly fly Southwest, so not even the flight attendants are attractive, at least in my experience. As the one pilot once said, gays, grannys, and grandes.

  • I think I've seen that picture before...oh, yeah, I remember, it was in Websters dictionary beside the word "PERFECTION"

    Mrs. Floyd had one of those and is still damn close a few decades later.

  • Why is it when I go on flights I never see anything like that, but usually end up getting an isle seat next to the very fat Mexican national with the 50lb bag of fried chicken?

      • Nope, afraid not. It was an connecting flight and we waited on the tarmac for 1/2 an hour for the Air Mexico flight to arrive. Every person who borded the plane from the Air Mexico flight was carrying large clear plastic bags full of boxes of fried chicken.
        I guess you don't see much fried chicken in Mexico.

  • Before the holy rollers and feminists get wound tight, I'll just say that I agree. If you can't admire something like that in this world without catching crap there's something seriously wrong with the world.

    • Mrs. Editor is the best. First thing I did when I landed in Chicago was call her and tell her it was the greatest flight ever. We live in a college town and if we see a hot college girl walking down the street, Mrs Editor turns to me and says, "If you can nail that one I'll pay for the hotel room." Of course, she may just say that because she knows those days are long gone.

      The Administrator's daughter graduated from college last June. Mrs Editor and I were over at the Admin's house one night and his daughter gave me a big hug and hurt me like I've never been hurt before. As she was hugging me she said, "You know what? You smell just like my grandfather."

      My life is over.

        • Never left the airport, so I didn't even take a sweater. I wore a Hawaiian shirt in Chicago in February. There's a tunnel under the airport that leads directly to the Hilton. I arrived Monday night, walked underground to the Hilton, had my meeting Tuesday morning, walked back underground to the airport and flew to Austin. Oddly enough, the Administrator is also in Austin for a completely unrelated reason. Just like the President and Vice President, the IHTM Editor and Administrator never fly on the same airplane.

      • I have an even worse story from this past Friday... but it's so bad I won't tell it. Plus it's my birthday this week so I'm sensitive about my age right now.

      • Hey Mr Editor, one question.
        Where did you get this picture from? It sure as hell wasn't on the Joffrey Ballet website.

        • I can't even get google to find that when I search for 'Joffery Ballet Daisy Duke Shorts"

          Jokes on her, those back pockets won't hold anything.

        • I hate that artsy stuff, but My lovely bride says I should keep an open mind....that changed somewhat after showing her this picture....

      • Don't give up just yet, the smell like my grandfather comment isn't calling you old, it's telling you that you remind her of someone dear to her.
        What Mrs Editor doesn't realize is that in today's society, there is a better than even chance that one of those hot co-eds that she offers to pay for the hotel room for you to nail her, has daddy issues, and would do you in a hot minute.

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