Sen. John Kerry (D-Ketchup) showed up at a White House ceremony with 2 black eyes and a broken nose. Spokewoman said it was from playing hockey. Uhhh, sure… The consensus of the commenters deems plastic surgery to be the more likely cause, though quite a few think the missus clocked him. We’re sure he really was playing hockey, he just didn’t mention he was the puck.


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It was just a "friendly" misunderstanding with George W.
lol, i can see GWB haulin' off and punching kerry in the nose, and kerry bawlin' and runnin' home to momma.
Complete to having peed himself, the little coward.
Is he going to award himself another purple heart
Yes, for him, it's just a checkbox on a form. Bananaface has no sense of honor whatsoever -- especially in comparison to those who did more than supply bullshit and ink as their price of admission.
He just qualified for the medal of DIShonor.
I vote for Teresa knocking him out.
I would pay her to do it again, except for the me being poor and her having all that money thing.
Think she would do an encore for free?
A PIGEON KICKED HIM IN THE NOSE.
A gorilla looking for the banana kicked his ass.
I'm thinking that George Bush was at fault somehow.
Can there be any doubt?
Oh, I'm sure about that. He is always in there doing stuff like that -- the Eddie Haskell of Presidential Politics.
[pee wee herman voice]Gee, Mrs Oblama, your hair looks very nice today.[/pee wee herman voice]
why coitainly.
Lurch's Swiftboat friends held a private meeting for him in some dark alley. It was called a PUCK you up party.
Banana, meet Tire Iron.
Tire Iron, meet Banana.
Wacky Hijinks ensue.
Those Heinz ketchup (Hunt's make catsup) bottle can really hurt!
You really don't want to know what jumped into my ER nurse mind when I read that!
Let me guess. It was probably along the lines of what a paramedic friend was told on one call: "I was showering along, minding my own business, when I slipped, fell, and sat on this greased lemon that just happened to be there."
Something like that, yeah!
hmmmm, ya know, Dupont was in cahoots with those behind the illegal illegalization of marijuana.
Old Billy Hearst had a huge hand in that, too. Hemp paper is far to easy and cheap, not to mention its production doesn't support the chemical industry (Hello DuPont?) with 1/50th the money.
Hearst was Patty's grampa right?
now there was an occupier with the courage of her convictions. Her sheer, oh i hate to say balls because she most likely was brainwashed, but on the other hands, all accounts I've heard of her since she got married to the Fed and got out she's been a model citizen.
This is not to promote violence in the streets owsers, this is merely to shove your noses in the poopieness of your own spinelessness.
bad owsers, bad bad.
Ever been to Heast Castle? It's unreal...
http://www.hearstcastle.org/
...it's insane how massive it is.
Or great gramps. One of those. Direct lineage anyway.
Oh Puck me! Mrs. ketchup probably smacked old long chin while he was looking at kiddie porn on the internet using her password...The only plastic surgery that would be good is if he got a bag over his head and it was sewed to his neck.
Ok, so John Effin' Kerry got whacked in the face playing hockey. Everybody who plays hockey gets it in the face at some point. BTW, a helmet with a full face cage or an eye visor would help prevent some of what happen to him. Me, it was the visor.
Speaking of hockey & politics, there is this story Mark Steyne talked about today subbing for El-Rushbo...
http://www.cbc.ca/sports/hockey/nhl/story/2012/01/23/sp-bruins-white-house.html
...for those who are not into the NHL, Tim Thomas is 1 of the best goalies in hockey. He's in the top 3 or 4, & I'm not a Bruins fan, but I know hockey. The guy's damn good, & now see how much he gets attacked over this.
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/tim-thomas-obama-snub-not-politics-party-free-233559431.html
danybhoy, your link didn't go to the story. I saw this earlier.
Thanks, & I did fix it. I tried different links until I got 1 that worked.
I hope someone kicked his ass.
Someone did in 2004.
It needs to be done to ol' Bananaface regularly.
He's Wowbagger the Politically Prolonged, and his presence is an insult to the American electorate.
He didn't try to open another K-Ration can did he?
Nah, Wife cut him off, and he got his dick caught in a ketchup bottle, and fell down a couple flights of stairs on the yacht trying to get it off.
fortunately as he tripped out of the yacht the lifeboat saved him from a cruel immersion in the depths.
For sale: One Ugly Stick. Bought it, realized I didn't need it.
email: teresa at heinzketchup.com
thanks for the info perlcat, she's holding out for bids. meanwhile she sent this for the thread.
;) ;)
http://www.baronfoods.com/images/prods/BananaKetchup.jpg
Ew.
It'd take a lot of Bushmill's to get me to taste that.
that's what she said.
hey, you set em up and i'll knock em down.
I called up Casey Anthony, asked her if she'd consider adopting him. She said that "Nobody's that unloveable."
Thought about giving his old lady some money so she could take him on vacation in Aruba.
Dude you are on a roll! I think it's a kaiser, but it could be just a hot cross bun
nyuk nyuk nyuk.
Wise guy, eh?
Woopwoopwoop
Yeah, but the damned lifeboat didn't save us from having to look at his ugly assed banana traitor face. If I had a dog that ugly, I'd give it to PETA, as no animal alive that ugly ought to live,
There IS no animal alive that is that ugly. Well,...except Kerry.