New York lawsuit seeks “personhood” for chimpanzees. The lawsuit, filed by Nonhuman Rights Project, claims Tommy, the chimp plaintiff, is “a cognitively complex autonomous legal person with the fundamental legal right not to be imprisoned.” One question: have they explained to Tommy that winning will mean having to buy Obamacare?
This post was last modified on January 26, 2021
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What! Does 'monkey boy' want to be President of the United States, or something? I thought we already went down that road just recently...
The Reuters editorial staff is just looking out for their jobs, they just found out about their replacements.
Well, why not? If little Tommy Turner, the human boy, can wear a dress to school and use the girls' bathrooms, why shouldn't little Tommy the Monkey get to play the same game of "Let's Pretend"?
Isn't Tommy Turner one of the characters in "Porky's"?
[in a high-pitched falsetto voice]
Tommy Turner: Hi I'm Paulie the Penis. And I just love to have fun. Ha Ha Ha. *
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/11/03/article-2057287-0EA81CC600000578-203_468x553.jpg
*IMDB
"You want to have a penis lineup?"
In my experience they never line up.
Somewhere Chuck Heston is screaming, "Damn you all to Hell!"
Had to look for it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKCBWRU59zk
I love her look at the end of that clip. She's like, "WTF is wrong with this crazy bastard? Maybe I should have stayed with the apes."
ahhh Nova.
At least Stewart didn't live to see it.
More democrat voters looks like....promise them free bananas and get their vote every time...
I looked at the whole thread to see if anyone else was going to say this if not I was going to post that this was just a bid to get new Democrats voters LOL
First thing that crossed my mind.
Chimps have a lot of energy. Probably enough to voter more than once.
Oh, I dunno. I would imagine he's more "human" than some liberals I've known.
My first thought was, "Ok fine, where's he going to live". And then it hit me
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JfdZamL5yYA/Ts_dD0Q95NI/AAAAAAAAC50/xiWgsIaQOrQ/s1600/miss_piggy_9934_908x1200.jpg
A new super race.
HA! took me a min, but i get it now. :D
Thought about Pshopping them on a box of Frosted Flakes, "they're great!" but it'd take a half hour or 40 minutes better spent elsewhere today. File that one for when the SleepDemons visit.
This is a red herring. They actually want to lower humans to the status of chimps.
Some of the humans I know are already below chimps.
And one of them posts here under the guise of being a nurse from Chicago.
Snap!
The sad part is so many I know are by choice.
Yes such as the famed "chimpus obamacus" and genre
"This is a red herring"
WRONG-O
THIS is a red herring:
http://www.inedc.com/sites/default/files/slider-image/redherring.jpg
unless you were throwing that out as a red herring.
Also, THIS is a Fred Herring: http://www.john-frederick-herring.org/images/own/portrait.jpg
To have legal personality means to be capable of having legal rights and duties[1][2] within a certain legal system, such as to enter into contracts, sue, and be sued.[3] Legal personality is a prerequisite to legal capacity, the ability of any legal person to amend (enter into, transfer, etc.) rights and obligations. In international law, consequently, legal personality is a prerequisite for an international organization to be able to sign international treaties in its own name.
Legal persons (lat. persona iuris) are of two kinds: natural persons – people – and juridical persons (also called juristic or artificial or fictitious persons, lat. persona ficta) – groups of people, such as corporations, which are treated by law as if they were persons.[1][4][5] While people acquire legal personhood when they are born, judicial persons do so when they are incorporated (registered) in accordance with law. (wiki)
idjits.
So if the chimp organizes himself as Tommy Inc., he can be a judicial person?
Or get an appointment by Obama as a Circuit Court Judge?
I should think he'd have to instigate the incorporation personally. also, if the bench rules in favor, they ought to immediately charge it w/vagrancy.
In the articles of incorporation, I suppose Tommy must be the top banana?
Yes, and you win.
http://images.somethingawful.com/inserts/articlepics/photoshop/06-27-03-farside/SirRobin_peelings.jpg
*groan*
That was dreadful, sir.
And I won fair and square, right? I don't wanna be labeled a Cheeta.
Ah man, that is one of the worst... I owe you a beer, cheers.
[edit] rethinking that, it probably belongs in the hall of fame and I owe you a 6.
What?! I defy anyone with 'nads or a clam-shaped thingie to explain to me why that deserved a t-down. I was tipping one in his honor for a wonderfully apt and horrible pun. Those win awards ya know.
Not that it matters but, cheese&rice; it was apolitical, gender neutral, not personal but to tip a hat for a wonderfully terrible pun... and I get smacked?
I'll stick to politics from now on.
(ps it was an awesome pun JP, made me groan and talk to the screen,= winner)
There is no such thing as an awesome pun.
I had this truly bitchy English teacher in the 7th grade who one day said to me, her upper lip curling with disdain for everything about me and my sense of humor, "Puns, Mr. Travis, are the lowest form of humor."
Yes, I've been irritating people with puns for that long.
That was very punny JP.
So saideth the teacher with no sense of humor, grasp of the language, appreciation of sarcasm or any life in general outside of what she learned in (indoctrination) college. Even then.
They were smacking us down even then, we made it this far, to let the bastids win now seems pretty unAmerican, yaknow?
right on!
edit: i mean oomgawa
Here I was, rolling along through life pretty well convinced that I will never find anyone freely roaming the streeets who is more irrational (read: insane), than a PETA member, and now this...
Congratulations Nonhuman Rights Project. You have blazed new trails in socially accepted insanity.
Aren't they just trying to set a precedent for evolution to be declared fact?
I think they're looking to create new democrats...
They'll need to lobotomize the chimps first.
Naw, the democrats have already decided to change the party logo from a donkey to a banana to accommodate these new democrats. Ballots will be changed to include pictures of bananas next to democrat candidates. Ballots in Kali, NY and Illinois are already rumored to include pictures of lions next to Republican candidates. John McCain, John Boehner and Mitch McConnell have agreed to these changes as long as the image of Simba ( http://www.lionking.org/characters/#simba ) from Lion King is used and Tea Party candidates have a picture of a pack of hyenas eating a chimpanzee next to their names.
Don't be too hard on them. After hanging out with Occupy Wall Street people, Tommy the Chimp probably seemed pretty smart.
Also pretty clean.
I have to wonder if he throws his poo. The multimillion dollar study we paid for said that throwing poo is a sign of intelligence. My uncle Don does it, and they call HIM an alcoholic.