I HATE THE MEDIA ™

Bill Would Create New Homeland Security Office for “Countering Violent Extremism”: Don’t look now but the Reichstag is on fire again.

George Takei: Clarence Thomas Is a ‘Clown in Blackface,’ Doesn’t Belong on Supreme Court. Evidently George is trans-racist.

https://youtu.be/FWwHqvTEFaM

Donald Trump Just Humiliated NBC by Releasing Something They Did NOT Want Public. Yep that Trump sure is an evil bastard.

Episcopalians vote to allow gay marriage in churches. Seems like every time mainline Protestants have a choice between making God happy and making gays happy…

Gun-grabber Yee pleads guilty to arms smuggling, Karma provides this anti-gun moron with a big payback.

Yee also discussed helping an undercover FBI agent get weapons worth $500,000 to $2.5 million, including shoulder-fired missiles, and explaining the entire process of acquiring them from a Muslim separatist group in the Philippines to bringing them to the U.S., according to an FBI affidavit.

Republicans Aiming to Register Voters at NASCAR. It looks like this could bode bad for Jeb. Conservative voters could put him in last place in the race for the GOP nomination.

Activists Planned to Burn U.S. Flag in NYC Park — When They Showed Up, These Guys Were Waiting. We know, we’ve been lectured. The loud pipes made the bikers do this. If they had quiet motorcycles they would have sat down and burned flags while singing Kumbaya with the protesters.

The Top Three Contenders For The U.S. Military’s XM17 Modular Handgun System Contract. Interesting choices.

POLL: OBAMA MILLENNIALS WANT TO LEAVE THE AMERICA THEY CREATED. Like baby birds who shit all over their nest, then fly away.

Man Applies for Marriage License to Have Two Wives. Didn’t take very long did it?

DOLPHIN LEAPS ONTO BOAT, INJURING CALIFORNIA WOMAN. We have to ask where’s National Geographic to blame this on global warming? You just know that dolphin lept out of the water because it was so damn hot. Boiled sushi anyone?

Dozens of Hillary Emails Classified. Funny, they weren’t classified yesterday. Evidently doing stupid shit like not being able to figure out how to use a 1970’s tech fax machine is top secret.

As nuclear talks stall (again) Iran collects 13 tons of gold. Someone please explain to Obama and Kerry the meaning of the word “negotiation.” They seem to think giving the other side everything they want first, is how you make a deal.

Department of (snicker) Justice: Students’ gender identity determines restroom use: Clearly this ruling does not go far enough and we must not rest until urinals, and the unfair advantage they grant boys with a penis over boys with a vagina, are forevermore removed from all men’s bathrooms where their misogynistic, non-diversity compliant utility has absolutely no business being in the first place. Also we suggest that leaving up of the toilet seat be treated as a hate crime.

National Geographic blames North Carolina shark attacks on Global Warming. Well of course. And if the sharks stop biting people, that will be caused by Global Warming, too.

About That ‘3 A.M. Phone Call,’ Turns Out Obama and Hillary Had One the Night of Benghazi Attack… With all the redacting of emails going on lately the felt pen companies must be declaring dividends.

ENCYCLICAL GHOSTWRITER: POPE FRANCIS ‘DID NOT INTEND TO CANONIZE’ SCIENTIFIC THEORIES. He must have just been trying to legitimize Pope Gore of the Church of Climatology.

“The Church has no competence on the technical and scientific level,” he said, “but rather on the anthropological and ethical levels that relate to scientific phenomenology.”

Iowa: Walker 18, Trump 10, Carson 10, Paul 9, Cruz 9. Oh Jeb? Jeb? Where are you Jeb?

TV Land Pulls “The Dukes of Hazzard.” General Lee to be edited out and replaced with the below car so as to not offend anyone.

FBI investigating 11 attacks on San Francisco-area Internet lines. If we’re not around this is why. We got cut off last night and the night before around 10 PM PST.

Chicago Public Schools lays off 1,400 so it can make pension payment. Chicago, the Athens of the West.

Smartest women ever hears about cabinet meeting on the radio. We now wonder of someone had to turn on the radio for her?

https://twitter.com/RosieGray/status/616054501640810496

 

Hillary can’t use a fax but wants to be President. Imagine when she gets that 3 AM phone call? Oh wait, we already know the result of that one.

Pigs really CAN fly: United Airlines flights could soon run on non-edible ANIMAL fats, farm waste and household rubbish. So are Muslims going to get offended and stop this? If not, will they fly on it? What’s the call sign going to be? This is Flight French Fry 411 requesting permission to taxi. Perhaps they’ll have Halal flights with no pork fat running the engines?

Greece Defaults. First developed country to default. “Falling into arrears,” something the Greeks do well.