Schumer tempted to eat “delicious” laundry detergent

Schumer tempted to eat “delicious” laundry detergent. With the economy humming along and unemployment at record lows, Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) has time to probe what really ails society – tasty-looking laundry detergent: “I saw one on my staffer’s desk and I wanted to eat it.” “I don’t know why they make them look so delicious.” Uh, been on that water-only diet long, Chuck?

This post was last modified on January 26, 2021

Bonfire of the Absurdities: After 35 year career writing software for IBM mainframes, am now self-employed contractor thinking of joining a union and striking for higher wages. Cured morbid fear of heights when I learned to look at them as lengths standing on end. Uncompromising in refusal to accept browser cookies. Amateur investor who has accumulated a small fortune in the market after starting out years ago with a large one. For recreation, I run, hike, kayak and play tennis but will not consider synchronized swimming under any circumstances.

View Comments (17)

  • Mr. Schumer is NOT a bright man. Not that I believe he actually wanted to eat the detergent, but that he thinks I believe anything he says.

  • America should be so lucky! Bon Appetit Chucky!! See if you can swallow your own weight in laundry detergent - you have certainly backed your system up since you arrived in the US Senate.

  • I want to know why a staffer keeps laundry detergent so handy that it's out on her desk. Possibly more blue dresses need laundering?

      • Man! Now THAT looked like those nasty sugar-water jugs. I would never buy that stuff or even let my kid drink it. I saw on the label of one of those kid chuggers that it has WOOD ROSIN in it. That sounded like turpentine or something and I said "nope". Anyway - I could see a kid ponying up for a swig of those jugs, but the laundry pods? Not so much.

        • my 3y (couple years back) got into them, and it never occurred to me that he would eat them.. and he didn't either. Instead i found him pouring water on it to make the casing dissolve.. I only thought.. genius! Seemed pretty clever to put that together from seeing us put them in the dishwasher

        • Squirt (the soda) has glycerol ester of wood rosin in it, too. That's to keep the oil mixed with the water, keeping it from settling out. One of those Fun Facts you learn that doesn't make you feel any better afterwards.

          Now you're wondering why they'd mix oil in a soda. Much like adding carrageenan in chocolate milk (it's sea weed, makes it feel "thicker"). You gotta wonder what kind of idiot comes up with this stuff. The answer is, a Clark Griswold type (that was his job in 'Vacation').

  • Please do so Chuck. Then just maybe you will become to I'll to remain in the Senate.

    Here is another Havard educated fool. Unemployment is rising, the national debt is through the roof, the Middle East is on the verge of Armagadon and all this ignorant ass hole can worry about is detergent. What's next steroids in baseball or duping in cycling? Just snapped back to reality we've had those hearings too.

  • What the heck is that guy eating that he thinks laundry pods look like food? Seriously! Kids stick things in their mouths because that's what kids DO. That's why kids need to have parents around all the time, and need to have poisons locked under the sink. Not because stuff LOOKS like food, but because they don't know the cause-effect of eating crap.

    Schumer though - wow. He never grew past the 3-year old stage? That explains his politics. Just wow!

    • Because he is lying. Much like the three year old who lies not understanding how transparent his lie is. Schumer needs a swat on the backside and then sent to his room with no toys for a spell.