Bonfire of the Absurdities in News New Format

Top ten sequester cuts to hit the White House

Top ten sequester cuts to hit the White House. “1. Obama to begin drinking Poland Spring instead of Fiji water. 2. Biden’s nanny no longer paid to work weekends. 7. Lobster tails no longer permitted for breakfast. Drawn butter will remain. 9. Situation Room no longer open to B-List Hollywood stars. A-List may continue to use at their leisure.” Go to the site to read the rest or contribute yours. Bring the pain. Ouch.

Next Read: AL GORE CALLS THE NRA A ‘COMPLETE FRAUD,’ BUT AL JAZEERA IS ‘HIGH QUALITY, HONEST-TO-GOODNESS NEWS’ »

Bonfire of the Absurdities: After 35 year career writing software for IBM mainframes, am now self-employed contractor thinking of joining a union and striking for higher wages. Cured morbid fear of heights when I learned to look at them as lengths standing on end. Uncompromising in refusal to accept browser cookies. Amateur investor who has accumulated a small fortune in the market after starting out years ago with a large one. For recreation, I run, hike, kayak and play tennis but will not consider synchronized swimming under any circumstances.

View Comments (9)

Dan says:

March 11, 2013 at 6:41 am

If the President REALLY wants to save money - since the White House Tours have been cancelled - why not close the White House all together - and take up residence at a local Motel6 - I am sure they would be willing to "leave a florescent light on for him."
CO2Insanity says:

March 10, 2013 at 9:34 am

Make those $500,000 bribes, I mean donations, to get access to the White House go to paying off the national debt.

Michelle only gets one Banana Cream Pie a day.

Bo has to go back to eating Kibbles and Bits instead of Steak Tar Tar.

White House Lights out at 10PM.
Progressive Hemrrhoid says:

March 10, 2013 at 8:55 am

No more visits from Reggie Love until "Dear Leader" passes a budget.
Joe Redfield says:

March 10, 2013 at 8:44 am

To save money on vacations the White House will be moved to Martha's Vineyard(and then to Hawaii in the winter).
poppajoe49 says:

March 10, 2013 at 8:33 am

11: Make Obama fly commercial, and sell AF-1.
12: Make Moochelle pay for her own vacations.
13: Instead of fancy gourmet meals, catering from Boston Market.
14: Breakfast at Waffle House.
15: Make visiting dignitaries bring their own bath towels, soap, shampoo, and bed linens.
16: Hang all laundry outside to dry.
17: No more dry cleaning.
18: Remove Secret Service protection and hire Paul Blart, Mall Cop.
19: No armored limo transportation, make him ride in a Chevy Volt.
20: TPOTUS to be retired to save electricity and reduce globull warming.
- sa_rose says:
  
  March 11, 2013 at 11:20 am
  
  I only object to the Waffle HOuse brakfast. They don't deserve Waffle House!
Plainsman says:

March 10, 2013 at 8:03 am

Just make FLOTUS stay home.

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/talking-sense/2012/nov/13/michelle-obama-living-tax-loophole/
Big Al says:

March 10, 2013 at 7:49 am

Lines of coke to be reduced in size...
HIV no longer positive.
- GhostntheMachine says:
  
  March 10, 2013 at 12:20 pm
  
  And you thought they were keeping bees to make White House Pale Ale
  
  http://io9.com/5989525/nanoparticles-made-from-bee-venom-can-kill-hiv