Bonfire of the Absurdities in News New Format

TSA Creator Says Dismantle, Privatize the Agency

TSA Creator Says Dismantle, Privatize the Agency.“Everything they have done has been reactive. They take shoes off because of [shoe-bomber] Richard Reid, passengers are patted down because of the diaper bomber, and you can’t pack liquids because the British uncovered a plot using liquids,” said Rep. John Mica (R-FL). “We are one of the only countries still using this model of security other than Bulgaria, Romania, Poland, and I think, Libya.” Well, to the Obamunists that’s a feature, not a bug.

This post was last modified on January 26, 2021

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Bonfire of the Absurdities: After 35 year career writing software for IBM mainframes, am now self-employed contractor thinking of joining a union and striking for higher wages. Cured morbid fear of heights when I learned to look at them as lengths standing on end. Uncompromising in refusal to accept browser cookies. Amateur investor who has accumulated a small fortune in the market after starting out years ago with a large one. For recreation, I run, hike, kayak and play tennis but will not consider synchronized swimming under any circumstances.

View Comments (8)

andre says:

September 13, 2011 at 9:00 am

“Everything they have done has been reactive."

The "they" here could just as well be the entire gov't, not just the TSA. It's hard-wired into the gov't animal. In the case of the TSA, their #1 purpose is not safety of the passengers, but safety of their asses (as in CYA).

If gov't people were pro-active, they would be in the private sector contributing something actually useful to society.
mgap says:

September 13, 2011 at 5:53 am

I have a solution. Put a pig at the head of the security line. Anyone willing to pet the pig goes through normal security. Anyone not willing to pet the pig gets strip/cavity searched. I believe history has proven that pig petters have not hijacked airplanes or commited terrorist acts. Of course I'm kidding about the pig...
- KimmyQueen says:
  
  September 13, 2011 at 2:20 pm
  
  This is the sanest idea on airport security I have read in a long time and a dog will work fine too. If anything you can also have a goat around and have people watching those walking by if the person winks at the goat seductively stop him and search him out.
  - MGAP says:
    
    September 14, 2011 at 5:11 am
    
    That's 'A' game material there kimmy! ;)
- DefHarryMelon says:
  
  September 13, 2011 at 9:05 am
  
  Bomb sniffing porkers, that's a great idea!
  - poppajoe49 says:
    
    September 14, 2011 at 4:53 am
    
    They already have bomb sniffing porkers, have you seen those TSA Agents?
- Babydoll102187 says:
  
  September 13, 2011 at 6:10 am
  
  I was just thinking about what that would look like, pretty funny actually. Definitely make airports more fun tho!
  
  But you bring up a good point. Why not post drug/bomb sniffing dogs at security points? There would be no need of patdowns for toddlers then. Pigs could serve the same purpose. They could sniff out truffle smugglers.
likwidlizard says:

September 13, 2011 at 4:05 am

I might consider flying again as long as I know Oliver isn't going to stick his hand down my crotch and play me like a pinball machine.