“Most dysfunctional team in Sochi” blames their clothing. The highly favored U.S. speedskaters arrived in Sochi with brand new, top secret, high-tech suits designed by defense contractor Lockheed Martin. The skaters haven’t won a single medal and they hate the suits. Lockheed… Lockheed… hey, isn’t that the people who designed the F-35?
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I can't wait to hear their concerns about Medals inequalities . First it wasn't fair that some other country won more than this team won . Then on the trip home , it suddendly becomes fashionable to expect Medals equality among teammates . Its just not fair that others win and others lose . They all must be winners , they all must have prizes !!!!
At least I haven't heard its the Tea Party's fault .
Hey, they're just following the fine example set by President Excuse-Of-The-Day.
Are we sure he wasn't behind the design? He probably just wanted to temper that American Exceptionalism that he is so against. Next, he'll design the rifles for the biathlon, without sights.
Another no-bid contract I suppose.
Lockheed Martin designs clothing? I suppose next fall Ralph Lauren will come out with a line of jet fighters.
Lockheed Martin designs clothing?
Yeah, it's kinda like going to a proctologist for a root canal. Although, for a liberal it might make sense.
By switching from polyester uniforms to cotton ones, George Costanza's studies indicate that our players would be 5 degrees cooler than the opposing team. Our players will be more focused since they won't have to worry of excessive heat build-up in their gear and they will also be much more comfortable since cotton is softer, fluffier, and breaths better! We will then have a true competitive advantage.
At least they didn't break-apart or catch fire.
"Welcome to the United States speedskating squad, perhaps the most dysfunctional team of the Sochi Games, in which chaos reigns and the high hopes that preceded the Olympics has turned into blame, anger and frustration."
The Democrat side of the Force remains with them.