Author: A. Smithee

Domestic violence is now legal: Kansas’s capital repeals law… to save police time. “…Topeka’s mayor and council repealed the ruling banning domestic violence and released 18 suspects from jail without charge.” What can you expect from a state where the number one defense for murder is “They needed killin’ “

Millions in Political DOJ Grants To Help Illegal Immigrants. “The DOJ gave the Innocence Project of Texas its first federal grant, a whopping quarter of a million dollars. The group has worked endlessly to abolish the death penalty in the Lone Star State. And $44,000 to “Tenemos Derechos” (we have rights) program for immigrant communities in California.” Your tax dollars at work to protect illegals from employment discrimination. Huh? That’s like giving gun safety courses to gang members.

Muslims Kill Dogs in Spain. “So bad has the Muslim jihad against dogs become that more than four dozen residents have formed six-man patrols to escort dog walkers… Islam teaches that dogs are “najis,” meaning ritually unclean, and that “Islam forbids Muslims to keep dogs.” Muslims never strike me as a group that takes the whole ‘cleanliness’ thing too seriously, unless, of course, it justifies killing an innocent animal.

Libya’s guitar hero plays while NTC pals take on Khadafy’s troops. Some possible requests: “You Can’t Always Get What You Want (retreat!)”, “Let’s Stay Together (safety in numbers)”, “Up On The Roof (a sniper!)”, “Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag (of ammo)”…

Aimless Obama walks alone. “President Obama has become a lone wolf, a stranger to his own government.” Political pariah or political pyranha?

Inmates could staff fire stations in Ga. county. “Authorities say the inmate firefighter program could save the county more than $500,000 a year by some estimates. Inmates charged with crimes such as drug offenses and thefts would be eligible.” Let’s see, a druggy thief with an axe and permission to bust down your door? Sounds like a plan!

Families bringing kids to Wall Street protests. “He’s learning life lessons,’’ said his grandfather, 73, who goes by the name Weezel. “The people I ended up sleeping next to were druggies. Someone was trying to put a cigarette out on my face, and I had to roll over.” The nuts don’t fall far from the tree.

Mayor Bloomberg says ‘Occupy Wall Street’ protesters can stay indefinitely. “Mayor Bloomberg said Monday he will allow the Wall Street protesters to stay indefinitely, provided they abide by the law…” Except for that whole ‘loitering law’ thingy – oh and those pesky ones like: Unlawful Assembly, Criminal Anarchy, Disorderly Conduct, etc. But never fear comrades – they’re just laws.

California bans use of tanning beds by minors. “Minors in the state of California will no longer be allowed to use tanning beds after Governor Jerry Brown signed a bill on Sunday prohibiting anyone under the age of 18 from using ultraviolet tanning devices.” Geesh, now all those poor kids will have to go out and lay in the sun. Or will that be banned too?

The filmmaker who has ONE THOUSAND siblings through sperm donation. Accidental inbreeding… Reminds us of the “Lady-Jerry” Seinfeld episode.

Pakistani man marries his 2 cousins in one ceremony. 1st girl is a daughter of his father’s brother and second one is a daughter of his father’s sister. Clever Muslims! Much easier to brainwash the inbreds!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sfv41ZaTyyQ&feature=player_embedded

Hertz suspends 34 Muslim drivers in prayer dispute. “This is an outrageous assault on the rights of these workers and appears to be discriminatory based on their religious beliefs,” Tracey A. Thompson, secretary-treasurer of Teamsters Local 117, said in a statement. I’m starting a new religion – 8 prayers per day, each about one hour long.

U.S. State Dept. contacts Khan family – and offers condolences! “They were very apologetic (for not calling the family sooner) and offered condolences” How sweet. The only apology that should have been given is the fact we didn’t neutralize this loser SOONER.

One of his articles was titled “How to Build a Bomb in the Kitchen of Your Mom.”

Ohio prisons ban pork in reaction to lawsuit by Muslim death row inmate. The inmates ARE running the prison… hey, sounds like Washington D.C. !

Three dead, 20 wounded by citywide gunfire. Wow! Kandahar is one dangerous place! What? Not Afghanistan? Chicago?? Well, good thing that handgun ban is in place – these numbers would have been much higher.

Romney Criticizes Obama at Military College. “I will reverse President Obama’s massive defense cuts… I will not surrender America’s role in the world…” The cadets applauded. Now let’s hope their votes get counted this time…

Blast from the Past!

Sheriff blasts work-release sentence for illegal immigrant. “It’s illegal for a circuit judge to ask a defendant whether they’re here legally or illegally,” Hansher said. “There was no way for Judge Wagner to know, and it’s illegal to ask.” Armando Rodriguez-Benitez with 3 times the legal limit of alcohol on board, drove the wrong way on I-43 until he collided with another car. But instead of deporting him, he’s now on a work-release program. This is one of those “How many things can you spot that are wrong with this story?” The American justice system, now merely a Bed and Breakfast to the criminals.

99% movement boos CEOs, but mourns Steve Jobs. “Jobs was such a beloved person in comparison with someone like Bill Gates because his passion for people, and having fun, and making lives better always came through in his products and message.” Bill Gates’ lifetime philanthropic giving? $28B or 48% of his total worth. Steve Jobs? Not even in the top 50.

When Unions Negotiate, You Lose.

Armed group enters Tunisia college over face veils. “…people armed with swords and knives entered his school and threatened staff after they refused to enroll students wearing Islamic face veils.” Peace be with you… and your severed head.

So Alfonso, what DID you see in that 85-year-old billionairess? Spanish duchess marries toyboy in lavish ceremony. Love can overcome all things… Love of MONEY that is. “Time to rub the bunions!”

Michelle: Bank Sex-Discriminated Against Barack’s Grandmom; Tax Returns: Barack Inherited $480,908 in Bank’s Stock from Bank’s VP (His Grandmom) That’s some pretty nasty discrimination since they made Obama’s grandmother, Madelyn Dunham, the first female vice president of the Bank of Hawaii! How dare them! Just to show them, Barack should turn over all that evil bank money to the government!

U.S. “close to faltering,” Fed ready to act: Bernanke. “…Bernanke urged lawmakers not to cut spending too quickly in the short term even as they grapple with trimming the long-run budget deficit.” The proverbial bloodletting of our economy is now met with plans to pour salt into the wound. “Elastic Currency” now means “Bounced Check”.

Unkindest Cut: Circumcision Bans Banned. A ban on circumcision has been banned in California. Now we can circumcise the globe on our intercontinental railroad! This also makes those shirts vs. skins pickup games much easier.

Prison hunger strikers now number 12,000, advocates say. “Inmates agreed to start eating three weeks into the initial strike in July in exchange for warm hats, wall calendars and a promise from prison officials to reconsider the isolation regulations.” They may have stumbled on to their own solution to the overcrowded prisons – or at least save the taxpayers some cash on meals. Televise it live and take bets on who drops first! One question remains… who needs a warm hat in July in California?