A. Smithee

How Big Would Be Treasury Dept’s Very Last Debt Ceiling Request? Weasel replies: “It would make you uncomfortable”. wow. The fact that Geithner still has a job makes ALL of us uncomfortable.

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Van Jones rallies Hawaii crowd in support of green projects, against Wall Street. Yay! Those EVIL banks are going to fund our phony green jobs!! Huh? It’s only EVIL (war, banking, protesting, freedom of speech, etc.) if the other guy is doing it.

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More than a dozen 5th graders ‘mutilated themselves during class in protest against bullying’. Ahh yes. Little democrat protestors in the making. In other news, 50 anti-gun protestors shot themselves to show their disgust at gun owners – the whole thing was video taped by several hundred OWS iPhones and the new, larger MAX iPad.

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Is Greece becoming a third world country? HIV, Malaria and TB rates soar as health services are slashed by savage cuts. “The news comes as it was revealed Greece will get €5.9billion in new bailout money on Monday.” The product of being non-productive.

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This Pork Eating Crusader Patch Is A Huge Hit With Troops In Afghanistan. Sign us up for the “Bacon Brigade!”

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Three in 10 young adults live with parents, highest level since 1950s. “Surprisingly, most “boomerang kids” don’t mind living with mom and dad. If ever there were a stigma about living with parents through one’s late twenties and thirties, the recession and, along with it, a practical dollars-and-cents outlook on life have all but erased that perception.” The crack research team at IHTM believes that ‘learning to live off someone else’ early in life makes the transition easier to living off the state. We wouldn’t want anyone to be embarassed by waiting in line for food stamps, would we?

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Being Conservative SUCKS.

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In ‘highly unusual’ move, Marines asked to disarm before Leon Panetta speech. “It sends the wrong message” that Marines can’t be trusted in the presence of the secretary of defense… According to one official the decision was “stupid.” Trust is a two way street, Leon. As an aside, how can you trust a man with a name like a deli sandwich? Hold the mayo.

Thanks to htownlawman for the link!

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Communism vs. Capitalism – Photos from E. Germany. 40 years of communist rule vs. 10 years of capitalism. In other news, England looking to privatize their healthcare system. Failed social experiments now the playbook of our own Failure-in-Chief.

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Occupy Occupy D.C. Build Wind Turbine to Memorialize Dead Birds… killed… by… Wait for it… WIND TURBINES. In other news, the artist commissioned to build a sculpture of the liberal’s collective brains has given up, stating that he could not find a pin head small enough to hold the masterpiece.

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The heartbreaking truth of women disfigured by their husbands. “Every year in Pakistan, at least 100 men feel entitled to throw acid into the faces of their wives, some of them still in early adolescence.” Now go put on that burka!

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$1 million lotto winner continues to collect food stamps. Made in Detroit!

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$11 Million To Help 400 Job Seekers in Detroit Aided Only 2. “The (clothing) boutique was to provide business attire for low-income residents for job interviews… residents were required to have a job interview scheduled.” Well there’s the problem! No one in Detroit is looking for a job – they already get everything for FREE!!

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Steve Bridges dead at 48. One talented man. Our thoughts go to his family. If you’ve never seen his George Bush impersonation… you owe it to yourself to look it up.

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Revealed: Barack Obama’s gay transgender prostitute nanny who made him laugh by trying on his mother’s lipstick. “‘Evie’ (pictured in drag) cared for the boy she called Barry (inset) when his mother Ann Dunham moved to the Indonesian capital of Jakarta in the late 1960s. Openly gay, she would leave the house dressed in full drag – but was very careful that Barack never saw her. After the family moved back to Hawaii, she started to work as a prostitute and now lives in a slum.” Everything Barry touches ends up screwed and out of work.

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Obama Adviser: ‘References to Size, Power or Sexual Potency…Could be Banned From Automobile Advertising’. John P. Holdren aka “NutJob”, the White House science adviser to President Barack Obama, thinks the government should force advertisers to remove all that sexy talk from what they consider to be “bad” products. Holdren is a “population control” kook too. GOD complex anyone?

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Buffalo, NY teachers get free plastic surgery. “The sweet deal that all the 3,400 teachers in Buffalo are eligible to get under one of their insurance plan options, they are billed nothing for any plastic surgery procedure, such as botox, liposuction, tummy tucks, and there is no deductible. Last year, Buffalo’s schools spent $5.9 million on plastic surgery which is also known as a cosmetic rider.” Apparently the plan doesn’t cover cranioanal extractions.

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Look out Kate Upton, AZ pol pushing anti-Photoshopping bill! Nanny States of America! We’re not going to tell you what you can and cannot do… we’ll just make the prices “necessarily skyrocket.”

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Japan invents speech-jamming gun that silences people mid-sentence. Build it right into the teleprompter, right? Unfortunately, it might not work on Obama: “They found that the device works better on people who were reading aloud than engaged in “spontaneous speech” and it cannot stop people making meaningless sounds, such as “ahhh,” that are uttered over a long time period.”

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Can’t we all just get along?? “A Pakistan man pulls on a rope around the neck of a demonstrator wearing a mask of US President Barack Obama during an anti-US protest in Karachi on February 26, 2012.” Obama: “Where’s that damn drone that targets racist, anti-American terrorists?” Hillary: “We redeployed that over Ohio, remember?”

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PETA ‘killed more than 95 per cent of adoptable dogs and cats in its care last year’. “Despite its $37.4million budget, PETA employees make little effort to find homes for the thousands of animals they kill every year. Records from 2011 alone state that of the 1,992 cats and dogs received, 34 were transferred, and 24 were adopted.” At least a nice, warm fur coat would have given meaning to these animal’s lives. Oh, the hypocrisy. I’m sure each PETA member will also be voting for the Wall-Street-backed-Anti-Wall-Street-Candidate.

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The DOW passed 13,000 ! YAY! or maybe not… “…it is entirely due to the nearly $7 trillion pumped by global central banks into the world stock markets just in the past 4 years.” Funny money = funny stocks. No one is laughing.

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Let’s play “find the BOOGER!” Hillary Clinton dons lime green shirt for G20 ‘family photo’ while everyone else wears white


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Mexico Posts Huge 3 Ton Sign on Border Reading, “NO MORE WEAPONS!”. “President Felipe Calderon on Thursday unveiled a “No More Weapons!” billboard made with crushed firearms and placed near the U.S. border. He urged the United States to stop the flow of weapons into Mexico.” Yup. That should do it. A big ol’ sign. Problem solved. Unfortunately, the 20 ton sign that says “No illegal immigration and stop smuggling drugs into the USA” made from crushed taco shells was eaten by rabid Chupacabras!

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Obama drops in on Chinese restaurant … and cheeky owner grabs handful of his BUTT. Kowtowing to the Chinese vote, Obama orders a heapin’ helpin’ of yummy sweet and sour pork barrel butt – with a side of spicy Kung Mao chicken.

sweet and sour pork barrel butt

- by A. Smithee | 25 comments | Share Link