Author: Bonfire of the Absurdities

Royal Navy ordered to turn ship’s guns around – because they were pointing at Michelle Obama’s hotel room. Did the FLOTUS’s minders really think the Brits might fire a salvo thru her hotel window? Well, if anybody in the UK actually listened to that recording of Barry’s “best” speeches the Obamas gave the queen a few years ago…. yikes!

Government is the biggest job killer. The “intercontinental railroad” President Malaprop celebrates as a marvel of central planning was actually the Solyndra of its time: “The transcontinental railroad lost tons of money. The government never covered its costs, and most rail lines that used the tracks went bankrupt or continued to be subsidized by taxpayers.” To someone like Obama, that’s a ringing endorsement.

The inconvenient truth that the “I Am The 99 Percent” crowd refuses to face. OWS is protesting the wrong bag of leeches.

Former NYC detective says he and colleagues fabricated drug charges to meet arrest quotas. Crooks in Washington DC go free while innocent folks in NYC get busted. Something is seriously wrong in the US today and it starts with those at the top, for as we all know sh*t rolls downhill. That’s the new Sherlock Holmes in the picture below.

Illinois man killed trying to steal live power lines. “Authorities near Alton in southwestern Illinois are investigating the electrocution of a man whose body was found near snipped electrical power lines investigators believe he was trying to steal.” Sounds like power spoke truth to him.

A new psychoanalitic book due out week, Obama on the Couch reveals that Obama has spent much of his life seeking out father figures. The author, professor Justin Frank, cites Joe Biden and Rev. Jeremiah Wright as examples of those “father figures.” Talk about looking for love in all the wrong places… Seriously, there’s nothing like having one’s head shrunk by someone whose own noggin’ is a a few pounds short of fully inflated.

Emails expose #OccupyWallStreet conspiracy to “destabalize” global markets, governments. Seems the fist of fascism is hiding inside the smelly sock puppet. Cui bono? (“To whose benefit?”) It doesn’t take a Harvard grad to figure it out.

Obama wants a national infrastructure bank to fund more pet Democrat special interest projects. Since congress failed to approve his “pass this jobs bill now” bill, the Twinkler-in-Chief has to find a new way to pass slush funds to his cronies. Having the pols run a bank is like having an alcoholic run a liquor store.

How Did Obama Know About ‘Fast And Furious’ Before Holder? Obama: I heard about it on the news in March (not likely unless the announcers talked about it during the NCAA tournament.) Well, it was all Blagojevich’s doing! Wait, wrong city, wrong scandal. Uh, um… somebody turn on that damn teleprompter!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBIWSyoe6vA&feature=player_embedded#!

The top 20 Stars supporting Occupy Wall Street have a combined net worth of $1,685,500,000. A “grass-roots movement” supported by multi-millionaires, like Nancy Pelosi and Barack Obama who bailed out the banks the OWSers are protesting. Or Alec Baldwin, who does TV ads for banks like the ones OWSers are protesting. If OWS really wants to eat the rich, there’s quite a few tasty morsels nearby.

In the midst of a deteriorating advertising climate, The NY Times plans to eliminate up to 20 newsroom positions and seek additional savings in the business units, the company said Thursday. Surely, true progressives like Krugman and/or Friedman will volunteer to proffer their baloney wisdom for nothing so that the 20 proles can keep their jobs. It’s not like either of them need the money. Tax the rich!

Solyndra funder George Kaiser paid zero taxes for years. “In one six-year period, during which he increased his net worth enough to land him on the Forbes list of the 400 wealthiest Americans, Kaiser reported taxable income to the IRS just once, totaling $11,699, equivalent to a full-time hourly wage of $5.62.” We don’t need to levy new taxes on the rich or anyone else, just getting Democrat billionaires to pay what they already owe will help a lot.

Will: OWS’ defenders correctly say it represents progressivism’s spirit and intellect. Pooping in the streets and demanding free stuff IS pretty much progressivism’s spirit and intellect. If the Dems want to jump on this train to nowhere as their answer to the Tea Party, George Will says to go right ahead. As the old joke used to go, “Now, take Occupy Wall St…. PLEASE!”

“There’s a lot of stuff we wouldn’t have to clean up if the city provided basic human rights, like a Port-A-Potty,” said OWSer Gene Wagner. “If you would’ve given us a Port-A-Potty 30 days ago, we would’ve maintained it ourselves.” Sure, maybe we can bring you some pizza and beer to sustain you while you’re blocking the effing steets and making our lives hell. Anything else we can do for you? Can we give you a ride somewhere?

Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr. (D-IL) told The Daily Caller on Wednesday that congressional opposition to the American Jobs Act is akin to the Confederate “states in rebellion.” The “opposition to Obama is raaaaacist” silliness is not working anymore so JJJ crafted a new self-serving false analogy to fool the gullible. This one is pretty effing silly, even for a liberal Democrat. We’ve got a better one: Lincoln was a Republican so voting Democrat is like voting for the Confederacy! Makes sense to us.

The IRS is auditing how Google Inc. avoided federal income taxes by shifting profit into offshore subsidiaries, according to a person with knowledge of the matter. Hmmm, Google… Say, haven’t a bunch of Googlers come out recently for HIGHER taxes on corporations and the rich? Must be our imagination.

100 OWSers were asked what they thought of Obama. 40 said “I believed in him, and he let me down”, 1 said “He’s doing great”, 27 said “I never believed in him”, 22 said “He’s doing the best he can.” The article doesn’t specify but we’re guessing the other 10 said “What’s an ‘Obama’?” If Barry’s thinking of hanging his reelection hopes on this “movement”, he might want to consider fishing his Truman hat out of the trash.

DWS: People don’t elect leaders to create jobs, but to work together. Obama was elected to “work together”? Coulda fooled us unless “I won” means “Tell me your ideas” in Kenyan. Either way, he’s still one big SCOAMF. Thanks for stopping by, Debs.

Numerous signatures on 2008 Obama ballot petition in Indiana appear to have been forged. Yeah, but everybody knows these people all wanted Obama as president so the Obots were just saving them the bother of actually having to sign. What a bunch of goofs. This is why in Chicago, they make sure a fella is dead before copying his signature.

Dr. James Hansen of NASA says skeptics are winning the battle because climate scientists lack the PR skills to make the public listen. Just as with Obama and his miserable policy flops, the problem is not their failure and incompetence, it’s their messaging. The stupid masses just refuse to listen to their betters unless the latter actually say something worth listening to. Go figure.

Occupy L.A. Speaker: Violence will be Necessary to Achieve Our Goals. The call to leftist “civility” starts 32 seconds into the video. It appears the cat is out of the bag now, or perhaps more accurately, the fascist crap is out of the dirtbag now. Next, we present the chorus of MSM pundits as they condemn this thug’s call for violence: (sound of crickets chirping.)

Sen. Pat Leahy (D-VT) plans to introduce legislation to make it a federal felony offense for people to mislabel products as containing maple syrup. “Leahy announced his plan at the same time he was announcing the state had received a $70,000 federal grant to help market Vermont maple syrup.” We think the real goal here is to put The Onion out of business by making it impossible to write satire.

The media’s guide to protestors. All the left-wing noose they can fit into print.

NJ Gov. Chris Christie announced today he’s backing Mitt Romney for the GOP Nomination. Jon Huntsman was just too damn conservative, we surmise.

“She probably ate more than any other guest I’ve ever had on the show —she kept eating even during commercials.” – TV Chef Paula Deen talking about her guest, the FLOTUS. The modern version of “Let them eat cake” is “Eat as I say, not as I eat.”