Author: Bonfire of the Absurdities

Days after Brown signs the Dream Act, California Nears Automatic Education Spending Cuts With Revenue $705 Million Short. Gov. Jerry Moonbeam Brown is a Democrat and they know the only way to get out of a hole is to dig faster.

Fairfax County officials are demanding a tree house built by a father for his two sons be torn down because it is located in the front yard and was constructed without a permit. Maybe dad should just tell the county it is a new-fangled solar collector built with stimulus money. Does anyone else get the feeling this country is loaded with two-bit piss-ant bureaucrats that have too much time on their hands?

Ben & Jerry’s: We squat stand with Occupy Wall St. FYI: B&J’s ice cream is owned by huge multinational CORPORATION Unilever, whose shares trade at the NYSE on the street the old hippies want the young hippies to occupy. Also nearby, large hedge and mutual funds have lotsa people’s (including gov’t employees) pension money invested in companies like Unilever. To cut off captialism’s nose is to spite one’s own face.

Officials in southeast Georgia are considering a money-saving program that would put inmates in fire stations… to respond to alarms, alongside regular firefighters. They’re considering allowing convicted thieves to go out on residential fires, thus giving a whole new meaning to the concept of “hot” property. And the way things are going, your next fire alarm may be answered by an ex-Obama Administration official.

Hank Williams Jr.’s new song goes “I’ll keep my freedom, I’ll keep my guns/Try to keep my money and my religion too … Keep the government out of my business/ and y’all can keep the change.” Would someone who’s both a raaaacist and a Nazi be called a “racazi” or a “Nazcist”? Just curious.

The EU toy safety directive states that balloons must not be blown up by unsupervised children under the age of eight, in case they accidentally swallow them and choke. While their currency implodes and their economies collapse, the EU has pinhead bureaucrats micromanaging toddlers’ toys. This is the way Europe ends, not with a bang but with a loud, annoying, fart-like noise. Pffffft! (Yeah, that’s it.)

500 turn out at rally supporting Gibson Guitar. “If the government is going to target Gibson today, whose business are they going to raid tomorrow?” Show us the list of businesses that haven’t donated to Obama’s reelection campaign yet and we’ll tell you. (BTW – how can they call this a “rally” when no one pooped on a cop car?)

Justice Scalia: “Americans should learn to love gridlock.” Go to the 17:30 mark of the linked video to hear Justice Scalia explain how our complex system of government generally protects us against bad legislation. We wish there were more gridlock in 2009 – the country wouldn’t have gotten stuck with either the Porkulus or Obamacare albatrosses.

The OWS Protest Song. Play it on your iPhone using either the Verizon or AT&T network – we’ll all sing along and protest evil corporations. Afterwards, everybody gather at Starbucks for a latte (and maybe some Right Guard deodorant… phew.)

Herman Cain amplified his criticism Sunday of the growing OWS movement, calling the protesters “jealous’ Americans who “play the victim card” and want to “take somebody else’s” Cadillac. Sure, Cadillacs are probably more comfortable to poop on than police cars – no flashing lights or antennas to distract a fellow. Herman Cain may be America’s antidote to the Obama toxin.

Wall Street Insider: Obama 2012 Re-Election “Not An Option.” Ulsterman’s “insiders” could be real, could be totally fictive or may be amalgams of multiple real persons. Regardless, the Wall St insider is making some cheerful predictions – look for pushback against the OWS folks as well as advertisers pressuring the MSM to provide more balanced coverage of His Lowliness. And he thinks Solyndra is a much bigger scandal than FnF.

Bleach Fight Shuts Baltimore Walmart. “A Saturday morning of shopping turned into an emergency hazmat situation at a Baltimore Walmart where two patrons threw bleach and disinfectant at one another, officials said.” In case you are wondering, there aren’t any Walmarts in Manhattan where the Obama-approved OWS political kabuki dance is polluting the streets and they could likely use some dininfectant and bleach.

Honeywell sees business jet demand down 15%. President Lincoln-JFK-FDR-Reagan-Obama will be thrilled, as well as the OWS crowd. BTW, the president wishes to know when is Honeywell gonna start hiring more smelly people with lotsa college debt and degrees in Leftist Jabberwocky?

“Occupy Wall Street” now moving on to “Stinking Up Wall St.” The face of “the 99%”? Looks to us like Obama’s pals are doing on Wall St. what his Congressional pals did on the Stimulus and healthcare “reform”.

Ray Burgess, CEO of Solar Power Technologies, a Texas-based solar monitoring company: “Solar panels do not work that well. Often far below expectations.” “In Italy last year, ‘they discovered that after one year in the field, over 90% of the (solar panels) from a one megawatt project began to delaminate and ended up on the ground.’ Delaminate: Scientific talk for falling apart.” The companies that make the damn things, like Solyndra, don’t work all that well either, so it’s a perfect match. And Obama makes three.

MSNBC’s O’Donnell tries to tell Herman Cain he’s not really black. Cain is having none of it. The most interesting part comes around the 7:20 mark. Herman Cain has a resume as long as the April 15th line at the post office, not one the size of a postage stamp like a person whose initials are the same as “Bad Odor.” You’d think Loopy O’Donnell would ask a substantive man a substantive question, oh, like say about the economy. You’d be wrong. But you probably knew that, because hey, it’s MSNBC!

Speech coach reveals she taught the FLOTUS how to use the Teleprompter for her 2009 speech pitching Chicago for the 2016 Olympics. How did that work out for her? Oh, yeah…. failure.

Several influential New York state lawmakers have received threatening mails saying it is “time to kill the wealthy” if they don’t renew the state’s tax surcharge on millionaires, according to reports. The Left blamed the Giffords shooting on Sarah Palin’s metaphorical use of the word “target.” In juxtaposition, we have America’s answer to Joseph Goebbels, Micheal Moore, virtually calling for riots every week on TV. And President Civility himself has been tacitly encouraging conflict since the summer. If violence does erupt, some, perhaps much, of them blame belongs squarely with them.

A group of thieves may have set the standard for audacity by stealing a 50-foot-long bridge. State police said the bridge was stolen between Sept. 27 and Oct. 5 in North Beaver Twp, PA. The theft was discovered shortly after 9 a.m. Wednesday. A bridge to nowhere… well, really a road to nowhere now that there’s no bridge. But at least replacing it should be one shovel-ready infrastructure project that can get underway this century.

Warren: “I Kept my clothes on.” Brown: “Thank God.” Democratic frontrunner Elizabeth Warren took a shot at Sen. Scott Brown this week, responding, “I kept my clothes on” when asked at a primary debate how she paid for college. “Thank God,” Mr. Brown said, when asked for a response on the Boston radio station WZLX. Well put.

Quinnipiac: “American voters disapprove 55 – 41 percent of the job President Barack Obama is doing, an all- time low.” Obama’s class warfare charade is not playing well with the voters. Obi won ka Nobody is underwater on the economy 32-64 and foreign policy 44-48. Voters trust Republicans over Obama on the economy, 43-41. Maybe they should ask a question about golfing or vacations.

The DNC is starting what a spokesman called a coordinated attack with the Obama re-election campaign and state parties designed to link Republican presidential candidates to Wall Street. Yeah, because Wall St and Republicans made widdle pwesident Obama create Obamacare, the Porkulus, Solyndra and all the other miserable crap that’s weighing down the economy like a lead weight. Obama didn’t want to be a SCOAMF, they made him do it! BTW, can we see the list of Wall St. banks that contributed to Obama’s campaign in 2008 again?

The EPA’s Green Tyranny: Obama’s EPA is studying new ways to micromanage America in the name of an environmental purity that no nation on earth has ever felt the need to attain before.” Obama’s EPA wolves eat away at the middle class while hiding under the sheep’s clothing of environmentalism. Don’t worry, elites like Obama and Al Gore will still allow us to wave at them from our bicycles while they fly overhead in their 747s. Those of us lucky enough to afford bicycles, that is.

Four New York Democratic Senators: “Proponents of a More Refined First Amendment Argue That This Freedom Should Be Treated Not as a Right But as a Privilege.” “The law would put a wide range of speakers — including those who speak to the public at large, or to a group of willing listeners — at the mercy of a prosecutor’s, judge’s, and jury’s decision about whether the speech has a ‘legitimate purpose.’” Do the math: “legimate purpose” = “something politicians approve of.” Liberals = Fascists.

A major-league pitcher was indicted for lying to Congress about steroid use. Administration memos show Eric Holder lied about what he knew about Fast and Furious and when he knew it. What’s the difference? If we had to hazard a guess, we’d say the difference is that pitcher is not a high-profile official in the administration of a liberal Democrat president the MSM has been performing fellatio on.