Author: Bonfire of the Absurdities

Professional activist who profits from conflict says we gotta stop listening to professional activists who profit from conflict. “Barack Obama took the opportunity today to lay blame for Washington dysfunction squarely on where it most belongs … outside the Beltway” Resist, you muchn’t.

The third party. “…at the heart of the crisis is money. The system of hitting up The Man in order to buy votes from a captive electorate dependent on the federal government, so successful during the postwar boom, has finally stopped working.” Republicrats and Democans are basically the same joker with different masks. The only true opposition to political insanity is reality itself – things that can’t go on forever, don’t.

Chicago Tribune drops the hammer on Obamacare. You know things are bad if a fawning liberal rag from the sort-of-god’s (what sort????) home town is dumping on his namesake crap sandwich. Party on.

“Thanks, Tea-Tards”: Why does Organizing For Action hate the mentally challenged? Well, one fool is not representative of the group as a whole – that’s only true when the group is conservative or something.

Redford: “racism involved” in the “paralyzed environment” Obama faces. Hey, Obama threw up this morning… Redford: “raaaaacism undoubtedly involved.” Video at the link, if you care.

ObamaCare best advertisement for Libertarianism ever. “In truth, especially in a big country like ours, the more the government controls healthcare, the worse that care is — and, ironically, the less democratic, the more discriminatory, it becomes. Where there are bureaucrats, there is favoritism.” To paraphrase Obungler’s first piece of work chief of staff, “Never waste a good failure.”

Obamacare’s website is crashing because it doesn’t want you to know how costly its plans are. “White House knowingly chose to court disaster…” The Spite House was more concerned about the Spite-In-Chief looking bad than anything else. In the Spite House, it’s always about the Spite-In-Chief.

No good options for Obama. “Nothing can be more frightening to liberal politicians than proving how little impact many federal programs have on the day-to-day lives of individual Americans. If nobody notices when they’re missing, it’s hard to argue against trimming the size of government.” Don’t worry, the Stupid Party is expert at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. But as J.P.’s linked article posited, “…psychopathic systems ultimately fail.” Sounds like a race to the bottom…

Bipartisan Distrust of the Beltway. “This chasm between the ruled and the rulers has both widened and deepened during the Obama years. … The Obama economic policy has turned out to be at least as much – if not more – ‘trickle down’ than that of his Republican predecessor.” We are all anti-authoritarians now.

MSNBC president wants “investigation” into Fox News’ “impossible” ratings gain. “Megyn Kelly blew out Rachel Maddow in the key demo on Tuesday after losing to her the night before. ‘I have never seen it in all my years of cable,’ says Phil Griffin.” One of the commenters put it best: “It can’t be because you suck, right?”

Bloomberg launching crusade against tanning salons. Don’t tell us… “Mayors Against Illegal Suns.”

Schools Ban Balls. All. Kinds. Of. Balls. “No longer allowed at the Weber Middle School in Port Washington, NY: footballs, baseballs, soccer balls, lacrosse balls and any other hardballs that could injure a child. ‘We want to make sure our children have fun but are also protected,’ [said] Dr. Kathleen Maloney, superintendent…” Hey, school itself is pretty dangerous – there are hard books, sharp pens & pencils and other dangerous stuff there (like idiot “educators”.)

NYT Editor: Krugman’s column is our “biggest nightmare.” “No one seems to edit that blog at the New York Times.” Of course not… in order to edit it, one would actually have to read it…

Firefighters rescue man’s penis from toaster. We know what you’re thinking but no, Anthony Weiner wasn’t tweeting a picture to a new fan.

NIH stops Therapy Dogs from visiting sick children. “The Clinical Center at the National Institutes of Health has suspended its dog therapy program because of the government shutdown…” Well, that’s what they’re telling us, anyway…

JFK Dated Helen Thomas? JFK’s first missile crisis.

LA Times: We don’t publish letters to the editor that deny man-made climate change. “Simply put, this objection to the president’s healthcare law is based on a falsehood, and letters that have an untrue basis (for example, ones that say there’s no sign humans have caused climate change) do not get printed.” Well, if you went bankrupt and ceased publication of this resource-consuming global-warming-worsening rag altogether, you could avoid printing any untrooths that might sneak in when you aren’t looking. Sound like a plan?

Navigating the Obamacare marketplace labyrinth. “The efficiency of the DMV combined with the intrusiveness of the NSA and the credit bureau.” One woman’s long day’s journey into the night of Obamacare. Leave it to the gubbermint to create a web page with a waiting line. Wonder what the penalty is for leaving the page without permission…

NYT reporter: Obama admin “most closed, control-freak administration I’ve ever covered.” “Whenever I’m asked what is the most manipulative and secretive administration I’ve covered, I always say it’s the one in office now.” Go home and look in the mirror, chump, it’ll tell ya who’s to blame.

Obama open to name change for Washington Redskins. At last, something he is an expert at. Perhaps they should be called the Washington Cronies (Phonies?) in acknowledgement of their home town’s major industry. How about they make like Obama and change their name and not tell anyone what it is?

IT experts on Healthcare.gov website’s problems: “The site basically DDOS’d itself”. DDOS=Distributed Denial Of Service, computer-speak for “the POS was so badly put together, it hosed itself.” Yep, they’re the bestest and the brightestest and they’re gonna run your healthcare ’cause they’re eleventy-times smarter than you.

France vows to “save the bookstores”: Fixes price of books, bans free shipping by Amazon. Holy merde for brains, Batman, WTF are “books”?

NY Times editor fears “reporting on the truth will die.” “It is not my fear that newspapers will die,” Dean Baquet, managing editor of the New York Times tells students at Sandusky U Penn State. “My only fear is that the craft of witnessing and reporting on the truth will die.” Sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy to us.

Two years after bankruptcy, Vallejo CA again mired in pension debt. Why? Because “Pension fund, city’s biggest creditor, only one not touched in bankruptcy.” That’s like going on a diet and not cutting back on the 200 daily Twinkies.

Rising polls boost Lonegan campaign in NJ Senate race against Booker. This is a special election to replace the late Frank Lautenberg, who held the job for nearly half his adult life. We haven’t had a non-Democrook US senator in NJ since Clifford Case in the 1970s. Even Taxachusetts had Scott Brown for a couple of years. Yikes. Please (sniff, sniff) stop us before we give another Democlown a lifetime job.