Obama to call for $2 billion “green energy fund”. No money for White House tours but there’s billions for a slush fund for Zer0’s cronies. We wish he’d just go golfing – maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll disappear down a hole or something.

Menendez now a subject of grand jury investigation. “Really, Menendez’s true problem here is that he’s a Hudson County Democrat, which means that if the feds don’t find any corruption right off the bat they very well just might assume that they messed up somehow and will keep digging until they do find something juicy…” Well, Hudson County has always been a rich vein for that sort of stuff.

Ed Schultz jettisoned to Saturday MSNBC graveyard slot. “In April he will take a new weekend shift from 5 to 7 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays” which Ed claims “opens a big opportunity for ‘The Ed Show’ and my brand.” Maybe, but the Lawrence Welk reruns will be stiff competition. BTW Ed, what you’re doing with that finger will get you arrested in any US publik skool these days.

Ryan: Obamacare will “collapse under its own weight.” “This thing is going to be a budget buster. I don’t think it’s going to be a popular law.” Well, it isn’t now.

Inflation targeting revisited: Three major Fed-sponsored bubbles – who benefits from inflation? “Inflation is an insidious hidden tax that benefits those with first access to money (the banks and the already wealthy), and government (via taxes). Government bureaucrats take your money and redistribute it primarily for wasteful pet projects in their districts or to those who contribute to the politicians’ campaigns.” Well, that’s not what they said on Tee-Vee.

Physicists say they’ve found “god particle”. Wonder if they’ll name it the “obamanon.” Any bets on when the ACLU will sue to disallow any future public funding for physics research?

How to fix America’s wealth inequality: Teach Americans to be cheap. “Today, wealth equality is closely tied to income equality. But in the long run, it’s all about thrift, frugality, and saving — in other words, teaching a consumer nation a lesson in cheapness.” We once read about an uneducated parking lot attendant who had accumulated over $500K in assets. Avoiding debt as much as possible is a helpful strategy – it won’t make you Soros rich but it beats the alternative.

Obama: The “It wasn’t me” president. “Four years without a budget, vastly spiraling debt, credit downgrade, Fast and Furious, Benghazi, the sequester…” Oh, and he didn’t cancel the White House tours either: “’This was not a decision that went up to the White House,’ noted Obama in an ABC News interview aired on Wednesday, saying the directive came from the Secret Service.” Are there any adults in the White House? Aren’t we tired of this crap yet?

Wisconsin’s VISTA program encourages volunteers to overcome white “privilege.” “…suggests that white people ask themselves questions, such as: ‘How do I ignore privilege? What am I doing today to undo my privilege? How do I fool myself into thinking I am powerless?'” They left out this one: “How stupid do you think we are?”

Feds spend $1.5 million to study why lesbians are fat. NIH awards money “to study biological and social factors for why ‘three-quarters’ of lesbians are obese” (vs. 50% of heterosexual women) calling it an issue of ‘high public-health significance’.” When they spend our money, it’s an isue of high something-or-other significance. When we spend our money, it’s greed.

AP: Applying for benefits under ObamaCare could be as daunting as doing your taxes. Gubbermint’s “draft application” “…runs 15 pages for a three-person family. The online version has 21 steps… At least three major federal agencies, including the IRS, will scrutinize your application.” As a commenter noted, “The theory is that you’ll die of old age or a disease before you complete the application process.”

A species facing extinction. “…the writing is on the wall for climate alarmism… When you’re struggling to pay ever spiraling power bills, you start to ask questions, and the answers emerging are really starting to piss people off. They’re beginning to realise it’s all about a bunch of fat cats lining their pockets at the expense of the ordinary person, and those cats couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the environment or pushing the small people into fuel poverty.” Die faster, please.

Senior WH official: Obama’s GOP outreach is a big waste of time designed to impress the media. “Even more jarring than Obama’s lack of engagement was his public protestations that there was nothing he could do to strike a deal with the GOP. ‘It made him look weak,’ said a Democratic strategist with close ties to the White House. ‘It made him look – can I use this word? – impotent.'” Just say “lame duck” (or a similar 4-letter word starting with “d”), they’ll understand.

Old, useless analog televisions can be transformed into solar-powered DEATH RAYS that will burn anything in its path at 2,000F. “The beam of concentrated solar power is so strong it can not only boil water in seconds but also burn its way through the glass bottle in which the liquid is contained.” An excellent weapon – just make sure the sun is shining when the enemy attacks. Hey, isn’t it time we had a national conversation about old TV control?

McClatchy-Marist poll shows Obama tumbling in voters’ eyes. “…by 44-42 percent [voters] prefer the Republican approach to curbing the deficit.” “Any glow from his re-election is starting to fade.” We thought folks realized incompetent fools who win re-election are still incompetent fools. Sorry for any misunderstanding.

Female senator tweets about “very uncomfortable” screening by TSA. “Today in my airport screening, test on my hands was positive,” Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO) wrote to her 89,100 followers. “Got private, more aggressive pat down. OMG. #veryuncomfortable‬.” Says “hand lotion” was cause of the positive “test on my hands.” We weren’t aware they were testing hands now. Looking for flammable hand soap, are we?

Bobby Jindal’s Funny Speech at the Gridiron. ” I ran into Joe Biden earlier today. I don’t think he recognized me though. He asked me to go get him a Slurpee… I see Eric Holder is with us tonight. I actually heard a rumor that due to sequestration, the attorney general can only afford to ship a couple hundred illegal guns across the border this year… This may surprise you, but I’m looking forward to President Obama’s second term. It will be refreshing to hear him stop blaming all the country’s problems on the last four years…” OK, but he left out… “Now take Mrs. Obama… PLEASE!”

Study: Even ancient mummies had clogged arteries. “Even without modern-day temptations like fast food or cigarettes, people had clogged arteries some 4,000 years ago, according to the biggest-ever hunt for the condition in mummies.” OK, but what about the daddies? (Sorry, we just couldn’t resist.) Seriously, we’re sure the cause will be shown to be that Pharaoh Bloomberg was overruled in his attempt to ban 16oz papyrus juice containers.

Climate change tops list of security threats in the Pacific says Adm Locklear. “Not North Korean nukes, not Chinese hegemonic impulses, not a re-arming Russia. Climate change.” Yep, they’re all bozos on this bus.

Former Newark Airport TSA screener says the job does little to keep fliers safe. “These are the employees who could never keep a job in the private sector. I wouldn’t trust them to walk my dog.” “We’re not any big deterrent. It’s all for show.” Well, they’re probably as good at their jobs as the Dept of Energy or Edumacation employees are at theirs.

Top ten sequester cuts to hit the White House. “1. Obama to begin drinking Poland Spring instead of Fiji water. 2. Biden’s nanny no longer paid to work weekends. 7. Lobster tails no longer permitted for breakfast. Drawn butter will remain. 9. Situation Room no longer open to B-List Hollywood stars. A-List may continue to use at their leisure.” Go to the site to read the rest or contribute yours. Bring the pain. Ouch.

A storm is brewing. Euros doing the same thing over again and expecting different results: “The problem the EU faces is however that one cannot simply continue to ignore the increasing political backlash across Europe. Desperate people will eventually flock to anyone who promises them to shake off the yoke of EU diktats, and that could well lead to the baby being thrown out with the bathwater.” Ah, any storm will be the fault of climate change.

Royal Navy engineer who fought in Afghanistan told to cover up her uniform on Virgin flight in case it offended other passengers. “For 15 years she has proudly served her country as a Royal Navy engineer, risking her life in Afghanistan when she fought against the Taliban.” Sounds like someone’s got a case of hypoxia… or chronic stupid.

60,000 border and customs agents told to take furloughs. “66,000 employees responsible for securing the nation’s borders and facilitating trade will be furloughed for as many as 14 days starting next month because of $85 billion in cross-government spending cuts.” No cuts to porky stuff like green energy or presidential road trips, though. Kinda like the guy who went on a diet by cutting out meat and veggies so he could keep eating 10 boxes of Ho-hos every day.

Bloomberg worried about private jet owners using NYC homeless shelters. “You can arrive in your private jet at Kennedy Airport, take a private limousine and go straight to the shelter system, walk in the door, and we’ve got to give you shelter.” Yeah, we have a problem where we live with private jet owners dumpster diving. But on the bright side, the Nutty Nanny says government “probably” shouldn’t force people to exercise. That’s as liberty-minded as Bloomers gets, we presume.