Author: Bonfire of the Absurdities

Liberal Austin homeowners surprised to find they have to pay all the taxes they voted for. “I have voted for every park, every library, all the school improvements, for light rail, for anything that will make this city better. But now I can’t afford to live here anymore. … Someone needs to step in and address the big picture.” Some don’t need a ton of bricks to fall on them, often it’s two or three.

Congressional Democrats are set to unveil their national campaign slogan for 2014. ““This election’s going to be a referendum on who’s got your back.” From the party busily drawing bullseyes on your back.

Surprise! Leftist minimum wage policy backfires in Seattle suburb. “I lost my 401k, health insurance, paid holiday, and vacation,” she responded. “No more free food,” she added. Too bad, Obama and the Kleptocrats need a narrative for the fall elections. It’s for their your own good! Besides, this is the Koch Bros’ fault.

The Five Unjust Men. Is Obama grasping for “a decent interval” in Afghanistan, exchanging a temporary “victory” for the ultimate loss of the country? It’s happened before – Nixon allegedly did the same thing in Viet Nam. “It would be a sham of course. But maybe shams are the stock in trade of politicians.”

Obama says Climate Change growing threat to health. He’s right – we’re already sick of hearing about this crap. And just ignore the billionaire climate-change “activist” Steyer’s hand up Obama’s butt when he talks about this.

Minnesota ‘unsession’ purges more than 1,000 obsolete laws. “Legislators launched an initiative that got rid of more than 30 advisory boards, councils and task forces that had outlived their usefulness.” DC needs an “unsession” almost as much as it needs an un-Obama. Almost.

Phony scandal? Courts open window on the IRS’s political litmus tests. “If an IRS agent can reject or stall a pro-Israel group’s application … then no group, no matter what its political orientation or cause is safe from being subjected to a political litmus test designed by any administration of either political party.” The point is well taken but, given the preponderance of Kleptocrats in the federal bureaucracy, few left-wing groups were likely to be affected.

State Dept: You know, President Obama just doesn’t give himself enough credit on foreign policy. Can’t decide which is funnier: the concept of Obama “not giving himself enough credit” for anything or the idea that there’s something he deserves credit for on foreign policy. Even NBC News, which has spent most of its time in Obama’s pants pocket the past 5 years, couldn’t swallow the latter.

Q1 GDP revised DOWNWARD to -1%. Unexpectedly, of course. The media cheerleaders were out in force: CNN: no big deal. Reuters: it was due to that coooold weather. Lucky Democrat Obama is president or old people, cats, dogs and children would be starving to death in the street right now.

Melissa Harris-Perry equates NBA with slavery. Sure, every day the NBA comes up to some poor fellow and says “sink baskets for millions of dollars a year plus millions more in endorsements or else!” Those poor souls would much rather be talking to themselves in front of MSNBC’s cameras next to MH-P, right?

Prince Charles: A “fundamental transformation of global capitalism” is needed in order to tackle climate change. Say, how about starting by ditching something that’s totally useless, contributes nothing to society, costs a lot and worsens our carbon footprint… such as royal families.

Has Mark Zuckerberg’s $100 million gift to Newark public schools gone down the drain? “… four years later, Zuckerberg’s money has run out, having been spent mostly on labor contracts and consulting fees with no noticeable improvement in student performance…” Kinda like dumping $100 million worth of chum into the shark tank. Thanks for the donation, sucker.

White House blew the cover of the top CIA agent in Afghanistan. “…the person’s name was included on a list given to reporters during a visit to the country by President Barack Obama. … The agent in question, listed as chief of station, would be a top manager of CIA activity in Afghanistan.” #LikeABumblingOx

Man killed wife for making vegetarian dinner: prosecutors. “A Pakistani immigrant beat his wife to death in their Brooklyn home after she made the mistake of cooking him lentils for dinner instead of the hearty meal of goat meat that he craved, according to court papers.” (Please accept our apologies in advance for the following:) Guess you could say she got his goat.

Democrats privately calling Obama “detached,” “flat footed,” “incompetent”. If a Kleptocrat tells the truth, is it still racism?

Barack Obama to resign over anti-gay marriage stance? “Barack Obama made a public declaration against gay marriage when running for president in 2008. Since other figures have been pressured to resign, or lost jobs, for past statements on gay marriage, should not Barack Obama be forced to resign for doing the very same thing?” Why, yes… yes he should.

#LikeABoss: Democrats’ ridiculous Bossy bumper sticker just begs to be photoshopped. #LikeABust #LikeABoob #LikeABuffoon , etc, etc.

TV News gave more airtime to Christie’s “Bridgegate” in four days than they’ve devoted to VA Scandal in one month. Juck fournalism.

An explosion in China. “Despite claims of its defeat by Obama, the center of gravity of militant Islam apparently remains intact. … They’ve taken on Russia, Europe, India, America and are now hammering China.” They’re on the run, alright… sounds like they’re running wild.

Taxing a professor’s privilege. “If we did implement a wealth tax, should it tax tenure? Professorial tenure is, after all, a valuable asset. … Everyone with civil-service protections or similar employment guarantees should probably have that asset taxed.” The author is doing a “thought experiment” but makes a great point – there’s a lot of assets that never come up when the subject of taxes is raised (pun intended.) Assets like lifetime job guarantees, journOlists’ expense accounts, flights on Air Force One, etc, etc. Coincidentally, these are assets enjoyed mostly by those who want to raise everyone else’s taxes.

Dem rep who ate own earwax says “Communism works”. “‘We’ve proved that communism works. If you give everybody a good government job, there is no crime.” Say, how about the gubbermint giving us all jobs eating our own earwax?

Obama still can’t throw a baseball correctly. Hey, a pitch that doesn’t reach the plate is basically unhittable and that’s just how the sh*t-stream media will report it. First the Nobel Prize, now the Cy Young award. Amazing.

Today’s daily dose of creepy. Orwell’s “1984” has indeed become a how-to manual.

Kerry: If we’re wrong on Climate Change, “What’s the worst that can happen?” “What if ’97 percent’ of scientists are wrong?” That 97% line was debunked a long time ago but that doesn’t stop people like Kerry from using it over and over again. Somewhere, a horse is going without an ass because of him.

Michelle Obama would like students to monitor family members for racial insensitivity. “First lady Michelle Obama is encouraging students to monitor their older relatives, friends and co-workers for any racially insensitive comments they might make, and to challenge those comments whenever they’re made.” And if you report them to the Ministry of Truth, you’ll get an extra ration of chocolate, Winston.