Author: Bonfire of the Absurdities

“How can you deny that man made global warming is real when 97 percent of climate scientists agree that it is true?” It’s easy when you understand where the 97% number comes from. For one thing, the survey on which it was based was sent to over 10,000 scientists, but only 3,100 responded. The 97% is addressing the 3,100 who answered, not the other 7,000 who didn’t give a crap. Somehow the AGW cultists didn’t feel the need to mention that.

Majorities of liberal Democrats now support drone strikes, keeping Gitmo open. Remember all their sturm und drang about these issues during the Bush years? Neither do they. “It’s as if all that international-law, humanitarian, have-you-no-decency crap was just… crap. And partisan crap at that.” Pretty much.

White House struggling to contain the growing uproar over its birth-control mandate as numerous prominent Democrats voice criticism. But the Big “0” is digging in his heels on the matter according to some Democrats who attended a closed-to-the-media retreat (story here). “Hey, I won!” Room for a few more under the bus….

NY Times’ “angel” investor drops by Obama White House for chat, news not fit for Times to print. Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim, who’s worth an estimated $63 billion and owns 7% of the New York Times, held a series of closed-door meetings with senior Obama officials. You’d never know it from reading the Times. Well, he’s only worth $63 billion so he’s not part of the one percent. Nothing to see here.

“Occupy DC” is planning to disrupt the upcoming CPAC using potentially illegal tactics that could include violence against participants.“Speakers will be physically assaulted, not just verbally confronted,” said a source. The bloom is off the poop, so to speak. Now that most of the overindebted college kids have gone home, all that’s left are the street thugs. Can’t wait to hear Obama and his fellow demogags (sic) condemn the lack of civility.

Germany awash in AGW skepticism after release of new book. A book co-authored by one of the fathers of Germany’s modern green movement, Professor Dr. Fritz Vahrenholt, concludes scientists exaggerated the impact of CO2 on climate. Key takeaway: the big yellow thing in the sky MATTERS! Embrace the decline, suckas. Wonder if the NY Times will find this fit to print? Kidding.

Ma’am Boxer defends Obama Catholic contraception mandate – justified because “It can cost $600 a year for prescription contraceptives.” Yeah, and what does an iPhone data plan or cable TV cost? How about a really bad cocaine habit? Should the Catholic chruch pay for them, too? Ummm, Boxer is a Kleptocrat so we guess we know the answer to that. Forget we asked.

UK girls as young as 13 have been fitted with contraceptive implants at school without their parents knowing. One parent claims family doctors were not consulted, either. Just sit down, shut up and do what your Nanny State tells you to do.

Chris Tingles finds Obama’s mandates to church “frightening.” Matthews goes from tingling in the leg to peeing in the pants… Now you know what the rest of us are pissed about, doofus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=XYg1ywwLoX4

Iowa City police seek public’s help in capturing armed robber who made off with $250 “Mega Masturbator” sex toy. When they get it back, they’ll probably wish they hadn’t. And, as one of the commenters asked, “Doesn’t Obamacare guarantee him a FREE Mega Masturbator?” No, but Obamacare is the handiwork of a bunch of them.

You knew it was coming: all whites are raaaaacist. The ironically-named UnfairCampaign.org is putting up these billboards in some Minnesota cities “to encourage a community dialogue about the causes and solutions” (translation: guilt you into giving them money.) We would suggest it’s hard to NOT see racism when you’re a manipulative fraud who profits from it. Or you work for the Obama campaign.

Climate scientist: Europe’s really coooold winter is caused by Global Warming! Reminds us of an old joke: a salesman was going door to door selling alligator repellent. “Don’t try to con me,” one lady who answered the door said, “There’s no alligators in Montana!” “See, it’s working already,” said the con man, “That’ll be $12.95!” Hey, betcha Global Warming causes lower unemployment rates as well as folks leaving the work force.

Giuliani: Obama has ‘no clue’ what is going on in Middle East. Yeah, well just put the Middle East in the trash bag with the rest of the stuff Ole Blood n’ Putts has no clue about.

Former Dem congresswoman says she wouldn’t have voted for Obamacare if she’d known it would require insurance coverage for abortifacients. A Catholic useful idiot pol rues being played, but she still doesn’t get it: “I trust that the President will honor the commitment he made to those of us who supported final passage.” Get a clue, lady: his commitment and the yogurt in our ‘fridge both expired two years ago. Give it up.

Senate passes bill forcing TSA to reconsider applications from airports to replace TSA workers with private security. “Legislation could lead to despised federal agency being marginalized from aviation security.” Let’s hope this is the start of a trend where numerous other despised federal agencies become marginalized.

China greenhouse gas emissions set to rise well past U.S. “China’s emissions, which were 20 percent higher than the United States’ in 2010, could be as high as 49 percent more by 2015.” And yet we are buying solar and wind power generating equipment from China to lower our “greenhouse gas” emissions while they emit as much as they want. Who said “Manchurian Candidate”?

Gallup: Under-employment UP to 18.7% in January. Take this as an antidote to media-generated barf: Gallup defines “underemployment” as a measure that combines the percentage of workers who are unemployed with the percentage working part time but wanting full-time work. This number has been RISING the past quarter as the graph below shows.

WH spin cycle: millions of folks leaving the workforce is an “economic positive.” Why is that positive? According to the Carny barker, they’re young people leaving to get “more education” (maybe PhDs in post-modern transgender puppetry.) Oh, and Carney and his boss are not full of sh1t, they’re full of bio-degradable non-edible chocolate substitute. Yum.

Students step over “rivers of urine” after green bathrooms plan for waterless urinals turns a FL school yellow – and it will cost $500K to fix. Going “green” – it means paying truckloads of green to implement expensive, new ideas that don’t work in place of cheap, old ones that do. And that doesn’t include the cost of cleaning up the mess made by the expensive, new ideas when they fail.

Atlanta street gang members videotaped brutal attack on “faggot.” More of that Tea Party violence. Expect the usual demands for civility from the likes of Froma Halfwit and Commodore Krugman – not. (Video at the link – YouTube removed it from their site.)

Obama: I’m getting “better as time goes on.” Great, if he’s president a few more decades, he should rise to the level of merely awful.

JFK had an affair with a 19-yr old intern, according to a memoir written by the former teenaged mistress herself. If this stuff is true (we have no way to know if it is or not) JFK’s reputation is gonna take quite a hit. Seriously – according to the book, JFK tried to get her to “do” Teddy….

It’s takers versus makers and these days the takers are winning. Yeah, but what will the takers take when there are no more makers willing to make?

101 Tory MPs demand that the £400 million-a-year subsidies paid to the “inefficient” onshore wind turbine industry be “dramatically cut”. Critics say wind energy is undependable (unlike politicians, wind doesn’t blow constantly), wind farms are unsightly and are driving up energy bills during already difficult economic times. Guess they’re tired of ponying up blood money to run the A/C at Al Gore’s mansion.

Maher channels Newt Gingrich, tells Occupiers to “get a job!.” As long as they’re not funny, they should be able to get shows on HBO. Is this another signal being sent by the regime to some useful useless idiots that the bus is warmed up and ready for them to be tossed under?