Author: Bonfire of the Absurdities

Super Bowl viewers, keep your eyes peeled for a 30-second ad featuring Nanny Bloomberg talking about gun control. The transfat, salt and cigarette banning nanny mayor who can’t get garbage collected or summon the will to evict a bunch of occu-poopers out of a private park is back to tell you folks how to live your lives. He imagines himself the “no labels” presidential candidate – like “pompous fascistic control-freak” ain’t a label????

Report: Obama rehearsed for his “spontaneous” singing debut at the Apollo Theatre for days. Even brought in a voice coach? God forbid he work that hard at his job… and we mean that. The less work he actually does, the better off we are. So plug your ears and play for a few months of encores.

New York Times loses $40million in 2011. “The company’s loss was blamed on the terminal decline in print advertising.” Not to mention the terminal decline in the quality of their “product”. Maybe Obama can give them a subsidy to make solar panels – they already seem to have the necessary skills (i.e. the ability to blow enormous amounts of money quickly.)

Israeli official: Iranian base that exploded was working on missile to reach the US. Makes sense, the 12th Imam can’t get here by Air Israel, can he? Or maybe because we have no diplomatic relations with Iran, they need a reliable way to send Obama the answers to his overtures: “Mr. President, the answer to your request to meet with President Aminneedofaboobjob is INCOMING…”

UN wants World Tax to “help the poor.” The UN, to co-opt economist Peter Bauer’s line, is “an excellent method for transferring money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.” They haven’t given up on the global warming scam either. When’s the UN 3-card-monte game start?

Brian Terry’s mother to Holder: You’re “a joke” and a “coward.” If “I know nooooothing” AG Holder is Sgt. Schultz, does that make Obama Colonel Klink? Just wondering.

Unemployment rate falls to 8.3%. The MSM will be trumpeting the 8.3% rate as evidence the economy is improving (and reason to reelect their boyfriend Barry) but it’s really a reflection of even more people leaving the labor force. If BO can get enough unemployed job seekers to retire or go live under bridges, the headline U3 number will be 5% by election day.

What does Obama do all day? Obama’s decision-making method as described in a New Yorker piece seems to consist mainly of checking boxes on memos his aides have written for him. Sounds like he makes “decisions” the way folks order food at the fast-food drive thru, except the clown mouth is his own. “Hey, no pickles or oil pipelines with that!”

Will an investigation of the Nobel Peace Prize committee lead to a revocation of President Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize of 2009? Doubtful. For one thing, in doing so they would admit to having made a stupid mistake 3 years ago and for another thing, it would be RAAAAACIST! Still, it’s encouraging to see the effects of the Obama kool aid are not permanent in everyone.

TSA agent charged with stealing $5k in cash from a passenger’s jacket at JFK Int’l Airport, the latest in a string of thefts. Another Transportation Stealing Agent. It’s what gubbermint usually does to us these days, the only difference is that this crook didn’t get Obama’s approval first.

Why several hundred thousand jobs are about to “vaporize”. Don’t panic – the BLS has a statistical model that attempts to account for the birth and death of businesses in its job numbers. Every January, it revises the number, usually to the downside: avg of last 5 years is -335K. If the gubbermint’s job numbers last year seemed at bit phoney to you, this model is part of the reason why.

At National Prayer Breakfast, Obama grounds his controversial policies in the Bible. Tax hikes for rich “[coincide] with Jesus’s teaching.” Umm, and maybe Krishna told him to revive dead auto companies, Allah guides his foreign policy and Buddha is the inspiration for his constant vacationing. Talk about your religious nuts. What happened to separation of church and state?

Robert H. Lustig, MD, and a team of UCSF researchers argue that sugar should be controlled like alcohol and tobacco to protect public health. Oh boy, now it’s sugar Nazis. Is it our imagination or is California full of self-righteous rabid control-freaks? Research this: everybody’s going to die. “Controlling” alcohol, tobacco, fat, sugar and how many times we breathe per minute won’t make us live longer, it’ll just seem like longer. Get a life, will ya?

Hmmm… Bribery scandal at DOJ??? A U.S. Justice Department source has told The Daily Caller that at least two DOJ prosecutors accepted cash bribes from allegedly corrupt finance executives who were indicted under court seal within the past 13 months, but never arrested or prosecuted. Holder’s DOJ scandals are like cockroaches – for every one you see, there’s a whole bunch more lurking nearby.

First lady Michelle Obama cites ‘remarkable progress’ on the economy. Michelle Antoinette spoke at a fundraiser attended by Hollywood’s top 1% of the 1% and waxed lyrical about the struggles of the middle class. After the guests finished crying into their foie gras, they donated generously to help Robbing Hood win another 4 years of golfing and vacations at the expense of the 99%. Puke.

The number of Republicans in the country inched up to 35.9% in January, while the number of Democrats dipped to the lowest level ever recorded by Rasmussen Reports (32.5%). Well sure, if they only count Mickey Mouse, the Dallas Cowboys and Adolf Hitler once instead of the several thousand times they usually vote, they can get any number they want to come out.

White Dem Congressman: Allan West “not representative of African-American community.” Rep. Jim Moron, er, Moran (D-VA), one of loosest cannons in congress, blows up over Rep. Allan West’s (R-FL) ungratefulness for all the Democrats have done for him. Yeah, Colonel West, it’s your duty to kiss the Democrats’ butts. It’s everyone’s duty. Anything else is raaaaacism.

Gallup state numbers predict huge Obama loss. Well, it’s not Michael Dukakis, Walter Mondale or Jimmy Peanuts huge, but we’ll take it.

Epic fail: chart of real disposable personal income under nine presidents when they ran for re-election. Obama is the only one under which it declined. Looks like it’s fallen about 2.5% under the A-Hole In One, next worst was Bush 41 with about a 3% gain. Change!

Green electricity finds few customers in… Massachusetts! The local utility offers “green” electricity but few customers have signed up – 0.76% to be precise. Whyzzat? Maybe ’cause it costs 15-30% more than not-green energy. But the enviro activists think it’s because the utility hasn’t spent enough money to publicize the program. It’s never that their ideas are lousy, it’s always the messaging.

MF Global client money feared gone. MF Corzine’s fortune still doing fine. BTW, MF Corzine has raised $500K for MF Obama. More than makes up for the piddly 70 grand MF Corzine personally contributed which the MF president returned.

Home prices drop, consumers turn gloomier. Under the genius-in-chief and his no-Keystone cops, the economy has made a complete turn-around: it’s headed back down again. The Obama Revolution is the one water makes when it circles the drain.

During his Google+ hangout, Obama tells a woman it’s “interesting” her unemployed husband can’t find a job. Obama says he’s getting “the word” that someone in her spouse’s field “should be able to find something right away.” Gotta be true, the magical job unicorn said so. Yeah, the economy’s growing at an eleventy-hunnert percent per annum rate thanks to Barry, what the hell’s wrong with you, lady?

How to kill 11 million people. When politicians go wild. “During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.” – George Orwell

Consumer advocate Warren helped establish the bankruptcy strategy for insurance companies to avoid crushing lawsuits. In short, go bankrupt to avoid paying victims. Middle class warrior Warren was once a consultant for Travelers Insurance company. Dems like Warren have a love-hate relationship with the insurance industry – they love ’em, except when the cameras are on, then they hate ’em.