Author: J.P. Travis

Local TV reporter too stupid to know what hammer and sickle flags mean. “Are you guys going to show any of the people with hammer and sickle flags?” she was asked at the Manhattan May Day rally. “I haven’t seen any of those flags,” she replied. “What do they represent?”

Vultures eat French tourist. “There were only bones, clothes and shoes left,” said Major Didier Pericou of the gendarmerie. New EU regulations are causing the vultures to starve all over Europe so they’re attacking live animals, threatening people, and in this case they ate a woman’s body before rescuers could get there. (Everyone is optimistically assuming she was dead from the fall when the vultures arrived…)

Rat meat being sold as lamb. Traders in eastern China were caught selling rat, fox, and mink flesh as mutton. Hey, meat is meat, right? As long as they’re not dragging those dead pigs out of the river and selling them…

Brawl erupts in Venezuelan parliament. Opposition members refuse to recognize Nicolás Maduro’s election as legitimate. Those dummies! Don’t they realize Jimmy Carter pronounced the Venezuelan election process fair and honest?

Pro-gun billboard causing a stir in Colorado. Some people object to history lessons taken in context.

“Maybe I should just pack up and go home… golly!” President Obama made the offer at today’s press conference. Finally the man has a good idea!

Chris Matthews is getting that “thrill up his leg” again. This time with Al Sharpton. Watch out, Mr. President, he’s cheating on you.

Twice as much time on vacation and golf. The nonpartisan Government Accountability Institute went through the president’s calendar for the last four years, estimated his leisure time conservatively (four hours for rounds of golf that are probably closer to six hours) and his time spent on the economy liberally (anything on his calendar even remotely related to the economy was credited), and the final tally was 976 hours golfing and vacationing, 474.4 hours spent on the economy. So much for:

“I will not rest until everyone American who is able and ready and willing to work can find a job. And a job that pays a decent wage and has decent benefits to support a family.”

NBC News sends Chelsea Clinton to interview… the GEICO gecko. Nothing like a hard hitting interview to demonstrate your journalistic chops.

Scientific American compares carbon dioxide to 9/11 attacks. When CO2 levels reach 400 parts per million, that will be comparable to significant world events like landing on the moon, dismantling the Berlin Wall, or the 9/11 attacks… according to the “scientists” at Scientific American.

Three men deported from Saudi Arabia for being too handsome. Yet another reason I can’t go there.

Al-Qaeda video shows 5-year-olds being trained to kill. Once these little squirts are transformed into finely honed killers, our Ted Kennedy-designed immigration sieve will let them move to Boston and “assimilate.”

Invasion of the robot noodle peelers. A $1,600 robot invented in China can make noodles for your soup faster, better, and cheaper than humans. Consequently, thousands of food prep jobs are threatened. Alas.

Australian Intelligence Officer disciplined for discussing Islam. Reserve Intelligence Officer Bernard Gaynor made the politically incorrect mistake of linking Islam and terrorist activity. Silly man – what were you thinking?

State of Washington officially changes “penmanship” to “handwriting…” because everything must be gender neutral. It’s the tail-end of a six-year legislative effort to remove any unapproved vive la difference emotions.

GLAAD banned a gay novelist from their awards event. In spite of his being gay, Hollywood’s propaganda ministry banned Bret Easton Ellis from the event because he doesn’t always adhere to official gay doctrine in his comments. For instance, he thinks the TV show Modern Family is a joke and likened watching Glee to “stepping into a puddle of HIV.”

Glenn Beck threatens the government. Monday should be an interesting day:

Let me send this message very clear. We know who this Saudi National is. And it is in your best interests and the best interests of integrity and trust for the people of the United States of America.
It’s best coming from you, not coming from a news organization.
You have until Monday.
We have information on who this man is. And listen to me carefully. We know that he is a very bad, bad, bad man.
I know that doesn’t make sense to you now, but on Monday it will.
I don’t bluff. I make promises.
The truth matters. I’ve had enough of what you’ve done to our country.
I thought I had heard and seen it all. I thought I didn’t trust my government. No. No. There is no depth that these people will not stoop to.
They have until Monday.

Divine irony? Muslim jihad terrorist Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is being treated at Beth Israel Hospital.

World’s oldest person celebrates 116th birthday. It’s hard not to root for the world’s oldest people because every year they keep going seems to expand our own chances. Best wishes Mr. Kimura! Here’s hoping you’re the one who finally breaks through the Genesis 6:3 barrier.

Interview with bombing suspects’ uncle. The interview with Ruslan Tsarni is great stuff. This is what we’ve been wanting from mainstream Muslims for years: righteous indignation and condemnation for inhuman atrocities committed in the name of Islam. This is how an adult talks. The rest of the world’s Muslims should take a lesson.

Meet Joe Berti, the man who experienced both the Boston and the Texas explosions. And he doesn’t have a scratch on him. He’d just finished running the Boston Marathon when the two bombs went off, then back in Texas two days later he was driving by the fertilizer plant when it exploded. He seems real lucky, but for the sake of other people maybe we should make him stand in the middle of an empty field for a while.

The Democrat Party Timeline of Ignominy. If you’re tired of looking in multiple places to find all the dirty shameful events in the Democrat Party’s putrid history, here it is in one place. It’s like a traveling back in time… in a time machine stuck in a manure pit.

President Obama is not sending anybody to Margaret Thatcher’s funeral. He’s too busy himself, what with all that golf on his schedule. Even Joe Biden is unavailable, apparently. Michelle and the kids aren’t going. The Secretary of State, John Kerry, won’t be there. Nobody from the Obama administration will be there.

That Global Warming thing? Turns out CO2 isn’t the primary culprit. The journal Nature Climate Change admits that sea level rise could be mitigated much more easily by cutting emissions of short-lived gases such as methane, tropospheric ozone, and hydrofluorocarbons. Now they tell us.

Did you notice who was celebrating with Adam Scott when he won the Masters? That’s Steve Williams, long-time Tiger Woods caddy who was fired by Tiger after marital infidelities trash-canned his golf career. Meanwhile, Tiger committed a rules violation that earned him a two-stroke penalty and nearly disqualified him. Final score? Scapegoat 1, Tiger 0.