Author: J.P. Travis

French research suggests women are better off not wearing bras. It’s not often IHTM takes an official position on scientific research but… we agree.

Federal study concludes 2012 drought NOT caused by Global Warming. Now what are they going to use for an excuse?

U.S. Senator Chris Murphy asks Fox not to broadcast tomorrow’s NASCAR race… because the race at Texas Motor Speedway is sponsored by the NRA and they’re going to shoot guns – real live guns – at the end of the race. God forbid people with a viewpoint different than Sen. Murphy’s are allowed to express it.

Super PAC that bugged Mitch McConnell’s campaign office… is the same leftwing group that Tweeted racial slurs about his wife last month.

Governor of Maryland endorses chicken shit. Gov. Martin O’Malley (Democrat of course) has decided to turn chicken waste into electricity… even though his plan will create more air pollution than a coal plant, require $600,000 annual subsidies from the state, necessitate higher energy rates for consumers, and eliminate a valuable source of organic fertilizer for farmers. In other words, for a liberal, all the ingredients of a good idea.

Look who’s copying IHTM. The Drudge Report no less. We say, “Look at that, Weiner rises again.” Four days later, Drudge writes, “Can Weiner rise again?” They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery…

Oh those horrible painful sequester cuts. President and Mrs. Obama will have another party tonight, their tenth East Room “command performance” of major stars. As the White House announces:

7:30PM THE PRESIDENT and THE FIRST LADY host a concert celebrating Memphis Soul music as part of their “In Performance at the White House” series; THE PRESIDENT delivers remarks

Justin Timberlake, Al Green, Ben Harper, Queen Latifah, Cyndi Lauper, Joshua Ledet, Sam Moore, Charlie Musselwhite, Mavis Staples, and others will perform, party, and help the Obamas empathize with the nation’s economic pain.

USA is the only major industrialized nation to meet Kyoto goal. And we did it accidentally. We never ratified the damn thing so we’re not bound by it, but Obama trashed the economy so thoroughly we can’t afford to emit carbon dioxide at previous levels. We’ve gone green by going in the red. All praise Gaia.

Weiner inserts himself into NY mayor race. Look at that, Weiner rises again. The former member of congress has decided to be the head honcho in New York. At least we know his refractory period now: about two years.

Columbia professor equates his incest with daughter with homosexual sex. “Academically, we are obviously all morally opposed to incest and rightfully so,” said the professor’s lawyer. “‘At the same time, there is an argument to be made… to let go what goes on privately in bedrooms. It’s ok for homosexuals to do whatever they want in their own home. How is this so different?”

A new kind of beauty? Classical portraits of people who have undergone extensive plastic surgery. Think of it as a game: correctly identify gender and you win.

ABC News broadcasts jobs numbers ahead of official announcement… misses by 116%.

Slate columnist says high school kid who asked Kate Upton to prom… is like a rapist. Amanda Marcotte suggests that encouraging this uppity kid helps “men who are violent feel justified.” Makes you wonder about the last poor slob who asked Amanda for a date.

Malcolm in the middle. State Sen. Malcolm Smith, top contender to replace Nanny Bloomberg, was arrested this morning by the FBI for allegedly trying to bribe his way to a shot at mayor of New York City. At a news conference, federal prosecutors showed a chart of GOP co-conspirators surrounding Smith, a Democrat, whereupon U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara uttered the immortal words:

“And you have Malcolm in the middle.”

A prosecutor with a sense of humor. Who knew it was possible?

Obama proposes $100M brain mapping project. One too many cabinet meetings with Joe Biden present leads to exasperation and a quest for answers.

University compares pro-life students to white supremacists. The Student Government Association at Johns Hopkins denied a pro-life student group status as an official club because they don’t like their views. Later that same day, to prove they aren’t close-minded, they approved the virulently anti-Semitic, violence-prone Students for Justice in Palestine as an official student club.

Climate scientists decide expansion of Antarctic sea ice is caused by Global Warming. Modern science is easy. Causation is already decided for you – all weather is caused by Global Warming, everything biological is created by Evolution, hydrocarbons come from decayed vegetation, economic success kills Mother Earth, etc. – so to be a successful “scientist” all you need do is explain your data according to the appropriate scientific dogma using words small enough for journalists to understand. Voila! Nobel Prizes will be yours.

Obama moves remnants of F-22 program he gutted to South Korea… two weeks after moving remnants of anti-missile program he also gutted to Alaska. So far no hard questions from media about previous administration claims that F-22s have no useful purpose and anti-missile systems don’t work.

White House unknowingly plays April Fools joke:

“NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim April 2013 as National Financial Capability Month. I call upon all Americans to observe this month with programs and activities to improve their understanding of financial principles and practices.”

Somebody in the White House has a twisted sense of humor… or they really are that dumb.

President Obama attends Easter service where pastor calls conservatives racist. And sexist and xenophobic, too. Here’s what Rev. Luis Leon of Saint John’s Church preached to the president today while trying to express the Passion and Resurrection of Jesus:

“You cannot go back. It drives me crazy when the captains of the religious right are always calling us back: for blacks to be back in the back of the bus, for women to be back in the kitchen, for immigrants to be back on their side of the border.”

WTF? This is an Easter sermon? Who gave this yahoo a church?

Another sign of impending apocalypse? This is the final Easter for Eggshelland. The driving spirit behind the annual display of tens of thousands of colored eggs, Ron Manolio, died last year, so the 55-year tradition will end. Don’t laugh, this is serious. In California they look for signs in the Mayan calendar – here in the Midwest we look at Eggshelland.

It’s the cold, not global warming, that should worry us. Since 2003, when Brits were warned that global warming is a more serious threat to human life than terrorism, “250,000 Brits have died from the cold, and 10,000 from the heat.” If you plotted those stats on a chart, would it look like a hockey stick?

History lesson about the racist past of the Democrat Party. “Make the Democrats own their history. They don’t like it very much, and who can blame them?”

Study finds Community Reinvestment Act did, in fact, lead to the financial crisis. Most IHTM readers already know this, but it’s good to review the facts because liberals love to buy votes by handing out mortgages with our money… and Obama is pushing the same policies now that brought us to ruination before.

The UK horsemeat scandal goes from bad to worse. DNA testing of the meat in an Indian restaurant’s lamb curry found no trace of lamb and furthermore “concluded that the meat chunks were not beef, chicken, pork, goat, horse or even human flesh.” Hmm… anybody seen Walt Disney’s 101 Dalmatians lately?