Author: J.P. Travis

Zero evidence of poop swastika in University of Missouri bathroom. If you’re keeping score, that’s two fake racial incidents and two real resignations so far.

UK Study: Women “are either bisexual or gay, but never straight.” More settled science from academia that we can file in the same cylindrical filing cabinet where we file Michael Mann’s stuff.

Strangest race protest ever. The black players on the Missouri football team are saying they won’t play football until the president of the state-wide university system is fired. So, basically, a bunch of coddled, underperforming, spoiled, scholarship babies whose feelings were hurt when the guy failed to get out of his car and talk to them in the middle of a parade, are quitting in the middle of a losing season.

Climate models are “upside down.” It’s not merely that they don’t work. The real problem is they were constructed wrong mathematically so will never work.

After seven years of “review,” Obama rejects Keystone pipeline. This is what fascism looks like. Instead of economic forces and knowledgeable experts deciding what to build, some ignorant nimrod in the White House who once slept in a Holiday Inn Express decides what to build.

Hillary “Godfather” Clinton. Two months after Exxon stopped donating to the Clinton Global Initiative, the New York Attorney General is accusing Exxon of lying about Global Warming and Hillary is calling for a federal investigation. What’s next? A horse head in someone’s bed?

NAACP president calls Ben Carson a “safe negro.” Because, after all, that’s what the NAACP stands for now: racist taunts.

For insulting Rubio about “French work week,” Jeb apologizes… to the French.

Warning: Global Warming makes us stop wanting sex. Shouldn’t that be a good thing if you’re a climate alarmist? Wouldn’t less sex result in fewer people exhaling carbon and driving SUVs?

French weatherman fired for questioning Global Warming. The French and government tyranny: together since 1792.

FBI knew Fogle was sexually abusing children for YEARS. They had documentation and recordings for at least four and a half years but told their informant, “A case of this size just happens to take that long.”

Commerce Department using Common Core math to calculate GDP growth. Government statistics under Obama have become so ludicrous, analysts just make jokes about them rather than take them seriously. Durable goods orders went up 2% in July, down 3% in August, and down 1.2% in September, and somehow the Commerce Department calculated they added 0.48% to GDP growth.

Senate passes two-year budget deal at three in the morning. “Quick, let’s grab all the goodies we can before the American people revolt or this shithole city collapses under its own weight.”

CNBC debate moderators unfriendly and unprofessional to Republican candidates. After fifty years of the same shit, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus was still surprised last night. What does that tell us about the brain power in the Republican establishment?

Modern art exhibit mistaken for trash. Artists Sara Goldschmied and Eleonora Chiari were not amused when night janitors reacted to their creation of “empty champagne bottles and spent party poppers” by throwing it all in the dumpster… but we were.

Al Gore tweets about Global Warming making people dumber. Now wait a minute, before you start poking fun, let’s admit the man finally found a topic on which he can speak as an expert: being dumber.

French “Calculation Mathematical Society” says AGW conclusions “absurd.” Since these are the people who “specialize in building mathematical models,” when they say the Global Warming crowd’s models are worthless… well, for one thing, Al Gore should probably return his Nobel Peace Prize.

Paul Ryan announces Chamber of Commerce lobbyist will be his Chief of Staff. Before he even gets elected Speaker, he declares war on the conservative wing of the party.

Hillary campaign flooding Amazon with negative reviews of Clinton book. Coincidentally, Amazon filed lawsuits this week against more than one thousand people for posting fake reviews… so Hillary could be under indictment for treason and being sued for commercial fraud at the same time.

Marty McFly arrives tomorrow. So what did Back to the Future Part II get right 26 years ago?

1. Brain controlled/wireless video games
2. 3D movies
3. Handheld tablet computers
4. Videoconferencing
5. Wearable virtual reality technology
6. Wall-mounted widescreen TVs
7. Biometric scanners

“It makes me very sad.” So said a German open borders advocate after migrants brutally stabbed him. Pardon our schadenfreude, Herr Dummkopf.

Miss Iraq contestants dropping out due to death threats. Islamists want all the girls wearing burqas, which makes things awfully difficult for the judges.

U.S. confirms October 10 missile test violated Iran nuclear deal. But wait, it gets worse: the missile test not only violated the new deal that’s not in place yet, it violated the old deal that’s been in place since 2010.

Scientists may have spotted alien artifacts orbiting distant star. The suspicious debris is approximately 1,500 light years away in the Cygnus constellation (above), so resolution is not optimum, but hey, it’s about time we found our first monolith.

Democrat debate had eight million fewer viewers than Republican debate. But give it another year. By then Boehner and McConnell will have evened things out.