Author: J.P. Travis

Durbin says amnesty bill would have helped fight Ebola. For Democrats, every crisis is an opportunity to blame Republicans.

Rotherham sex abuse victim confronts Muslim abuser. Police immediately arrest her for racism. Great Britain is now officially part of the Bizarro World.

What if you held a climate summit and nobody showed up? Another sign of the degree to which our president is out of touch with reality.

Islam: sexually enslaving children worldwide. The Muslim-run sex ring in Rotherham, England, is the rule, not the exception. Matters are even worse in Muslim-majority nations where the government itself is usually commandeered to support the perversions.

Wondering why it’s so cold outside? The “largest climate march in history” is scheduled for September 21st in New York. The People’s Climate March is intended to pressure the United Nations into doing something about Global Warming. That’s why.

First species ever declared extinct because of climate change… has apparently been doing fine for the last 17 years and spokesnail Speedy McTwain says, “The reports of our extinction have been greatly exaggerated.”

Dirty senator investigating herself… misses self-imposed investigation deadline. Go figure: it’s almost like the investigation into herself is not a top priority.

“Whenever we can, we follow the law,” said IRS Commissioner John Koskinen during congressional testimony yesterday.

Obama going to war without congressional approval… AGAIN. He changes his justifications like other men change their underwear. This time he’s claiming Congress authorized a 2014 campaign against the Islamic State in 2001, when they authorized President George W. Bush to fight the Taliban and al Qaeda. That’s his story and he’s sticking to it. For now.

Fat black people? Fat Hispanic people? It’s your fault, Whitey – they’re fat because of your racist microaggressions.

NY Times moron says ISIS and Putin can be stopped with… a carbon tax.

American soldier plays “The Star-Spangled Banner.” With an electric guitar connected to a loudspeaker. On a rooftop in Afghanistan. During the Muslim call to prayer.

Stephen Hawking worried about yet another doomsday scenario. First he warned that aliens might destroy us, then it was artificial intelligence that would get us, and now he says the God particle discovered at CERN’s Large Hadron Collider (which he was certain didn’t exist) could create a “bubble of the true vacuum expanding at the speed of light” which destroys the whole universe. So get out there and live every day like it’s your last, IHTM readers, because you won’t even see the killer bubble coming.

Guy who was elected purely on optics… says he’s no good at optics, and that’s why golfing right after his James Foley statement looked so bad.

Jack the Ripper identified. Finally, 126 years later, using DNA analysis, the Brits know who did it: a mad Polish-born immigrant hairdresser named Aaron Kosminski who was addicted to masturbation, who was always the main suspect of the police, and who, shortly after the murders, was committed to an insane asylum for the rest of his life. No doubt books will shortly be written about him but let IHTM go on the record here and now: he looks like a liberal.

Former USC professor of “gender and sexuality studies” pleads guilty to sex with little boys. Don’t worry, California parents, this eminent LGBT advocate was lecturing your children about alternative lifestyles. And you were paying for it. Bon appétit, suckers.

Narcissist-in-chief raises his hand during group photo again. This time at the NATO Summit in Wales. Whoever that poor sap is behind him, face covered by Obama’s hand, let’s hope his country doesn’t have nuclear missiles.

Holder, now investigating Ferguson for civil rights violations, says he is still investigating the Trayvon Martin shooting for civil rights violations. Meanwhile, as far as anyone can tell, the Justice Department is completely ignoring the IRS scandal.

Popular Science finds 17 phony cellphone towers intercepting calls. Mostly near military bases, coincidentally. Homeland Security, on the ball again. Forward!

ABC rudely asks Phil Robertson, “Would you consider yourself a homophobe?” His answer: “I’m as much of a homophobe as Jesus was.”

What the United Nations doesn’t want you to know. The organization was designed and started by a communist, the person in charge of UN armed forces is always a communist, every single undersecretary-general of political and security council affairs since the UN’s founding has been a communist, and every single secretary-general plus every single assistant secretary-general has been a socialist/communist.

The ISIS map of the world. The black is their caliphate, all Christian and Jewish countries eliminated. It would be funny if we didn’t all suspect that Obama has a similar map in his head.

German forests full of radioactive wild boar. If we can teach these nasty critters to parachute and then push them out of a plane over ISIS territory… Hey, it’s a better idea than anything Obama has so far.

Michael Sam out. Not out of the closet this time – out of the NFL because the St. Louis Rams cut him. As expected. That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the LGBT community.

California passes creepy new “Dear Leader” education law. AB1912, passed earlier this month by the California Assembly 76-1, is “an opportunity for Obama to take his rightful place in California textbooks,” and will “make sure that future generations understand that the election of our nation’s first African American president was a historic step.”