Author: J.P. Travis

Has Russia invaded Ukraine or not? It is a sign of the Obama administration’s foreign policy confusion, impotence, and dysfunction that we can’t get a straight answer to such a simple question. 1,000 troops accompanied by tanks is not an invasion, says the president, but merely a “continuation.” Continuation of what?

Here we go: federal judge strikes down ban on polygamy. Remember when people said legalizing gay marriage was a slippery slope? And the Gay Mafia ridiculed the notion? Well, turns out it was a slippery slope with a Slip ‘N Slide deployed on it that leads to the edge of a cliff over the Grand Canyon. Next up: legal marriage between a man and his pet cockatoo – you read it here first.

Good news! (for real this time) There are now more Christians in China than Communist Party members:

“The number [of Christians] is undoubtedly in excess of a hundred million, far more than the 85 million members of the Communist Party.”

History repeats itself – something similar happened to the Roman Empire.

Obama’s rousing speech brings military vets to their feet. Just kidding. Actually, American Legion listeners sat on their hands, ignoring applause lines, and generally acting like someone was farting in the elevator.

Another classroom “Bless you” dictator. Assistant professor of chemistry Leon Gardner at the College of Coastal Georgia will reduce the final grade of any student who says “Bless you” after someone sneezes… up to 15% if they commit multiple infractions of his prohibition.

Good news! The federal government is creating a database of political posts on Twitter to monitor “false and misleading ideas.” The government monitoring will supposedly “assist in the preservation of open debate,” according to the leftwing Indiana professor setting up the database. Isn’t that comforting?

Another reason food prices are high. Millions of bushels of grain is rotting on the ground in North Dakota because of a shortage of rail cars to ship it to market… and there is a shortage of rail cars because Warren Buffet’s Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railway is busy shipping oil… and the railroad is busy shipping oil because Obama refused to approve the Keystone Pipeline.

Now they say there ARE backup copies of Lois Lerner’s emails. WTF? Someone finally remembered they have backup tapes? Meanwhile, Eric Holder’s Justice Department says the backup tape is too hard to search so they won’t be retrieving those missing emails. WTF again!

Vermont bacon ad taken down to placate hyper-sensitive Muslim. She said the sign was “insensitive” to people who don’t consume pork and that, as a Muslim, she was personally offended. Our three-word response: James Foley, bitch.

Antarctic sea ice above average for 1,000 straight days. Liberal mainstream media explaining how this is caused by Global Warming in 3… 2… 1…

Top psychiatrist says transgenderism is a mental disorder and sex change is biologically impossible. Oooo boy, is this guy in trouble! The Political Correctness Enforcement Unit from the Borg Hive will be knocking on his door shortly.

Retired intelligence officer says Foley rescue failed because of Obama:

Let me give you a little secret here: the reason that raid into Syria failed to get Foley and those guys was because the president drug his feet. He waited too long, the intel got stale, and by the time we actually gave the “go” word it failed because we just didn’t react quick enough.

14,646 duplicate voters in Virginia county will NOT be purged from rolls. Instead, these Fairfax County voters, who were found to be registered in both Maryland and Virginia, are being flagged as “inactive voters” which will leave them eligible to vote in Virginia until 2019.

Feminists upset about cover pic on new Spider Woman comic book. We just don’t get it. What’s wrong with the picture? She’s sneaking up the side of a building, butt high in the air like the SEAL manual recommends, legs akimbo so she’s ready to leap in any direction… what’s the problem?

President of Planned Parenthood says Ferguson is about “reproductive justice.” Is that about it? Have we heard from every liberal idiot in America now? Can we move on to the next concocted racial pseudo-crisis yet?

Spike Lee enters the fray:

“This is about Trayvon Martin. This is about Jordan Davis, Eric Garner, Michael Brown… I just think there is a war on the black male and it’s tearing the country apart.”

Redskins secondary runs out for Monday Night Football with arms up… to symbolize their support for Michael Brown and Ferguson protesters.

They have a name for those birds set on fire by solar plants. They call them “streamers” because of the smoke plume the poor crittters leave after they ignite…. which happens about once every two minutes at the BrightSource Mojave Desert plant.

As the highest ranking U.S. officer killed in combat in 44 years was laid to rest… his Commander in Chief golfed on Martha’s Vineyard.

How Bogart & Bacall were duped by Hollywood communists. In 1947 the two superstars, along with a bunch of other Hollywood names, charged into the House Committee on Un-American Activities to support colleagues who were accused of being communists. When they got there, they found out those colleagues really were communists.

Teachers union head defends Common Core:

“If someone takes something from me, I’m going to grab it right back out of their cold, twisted, sick hands and say it is mine! You do not take what is mine! And I’m going to punch you in the face and push you in the dirt because this is the teachers’! These are our tools and you sick people need to deal with us and the children that we teach. Thank you very much!”

“Fear not,” says Rosie O’Donnell, The View won’t hire any jerks. Too late, Rosie. That ship has sailed.

Klingon running for U.S. Senate in North Carolina. Why not? We already have a fake Cherokee and a fake Vietnam vet in the Senate, plus a fake American in the White House and a swarm of fake Republicans buzzing around D.C. like blue bottles angling for a carcass, so a fake Klingon will feel right at home.

Obama hosts “monsters ball” of African despots… and then holds a press conference where he

1. Accuses the United States of violating human rights, and
2. Claims incorrectly that the Palestinian Authority has recognized Israel.

Oy vey. High as a kite or dumb as a box of rocks, you pick.

Political candidate strips naked in Times Square to campaign. What’s your best guess: Democrat or Republican?