Author: J.P. Travis

John Kerry intimidates Putin. By riding a pink girls’ bike around Nantucket one-handed and without a helmet.

JournoList 2.0. Leftwing journalists – wait, is that redundant? – have a new secret hideout where they plot propaganda strategies. This time it’s a closed Google group called Gamechanger Salon.

Lawsuit after “major reporter for CNN” (her words) bites EMTs. Arwa Damon allegedly has a history of becoming drunk and abusive but this time her cannibalistic urges got the best of her. Who knows what made her so angry? Maybe she heard how much Chelsea Clinton was making over at NBC News.

Democrat sends taxpayer-financed mailer implying support from veterans. Unfortunately, one of the fake military personnel on the mailer – a woman trying to look like she’s in the U.S. Navy – is wearing an insignia from the World War II-era German Luftwaffe. There’s dumb, there’s really dumb, and then there’s Democrats.

Fiscal year 2013 federal benefit payments. Whether you call it welfare or use the more benign word “benefits,” a shocking amount of money is being stolen from some Americans and transferred to other Americans.

It’s Obama’s 53rd birthday today. Or at least that’s what he claims. (We can’t be sure because he never provided a real birth certificate.)

Saviors of the world! New study says ants might be slowing Global Warming by sequestering carbon.

Anti-Hamas language was removed from Democrat Party’s 2012 platform. And when a political party has a sitting president running for re-election, nothing happens to the platform without his say-so.

No water in Toledo. Toxins in the city water make it unpotable and bottled water has sold off the shelves. 500,000 customers of the city water plant are raiding Wal-Marts in southern Michigan for H2O. It’s the Toledo War all over again.

Jon Voight takes Penelope Cruz to the woodshed. Cruz and her husband should “hang their heads in shame” for signing a statement accusing Israel of genocide, wrote Voight in an op-ed, and they have “defamed the only democratic country of goodwill in the Middle East.” Isn’t it nice to see one Hollywood actor who’s not barking-at-the-moon crazy?

Humane Society rescues hundreds of pet rats from Ohio apartment. Question for Eric Holder: how many of them were registered to vote?

Giraffe in trailer dies after hitting head on overpass. It’s never good when the human driving the truck is dumber than the giraffes in the trailer. [That’s an actual photo taken seconds before the incident – the other giraffe must have ducked.]

Ebola comes to America. The all-wise powers-that-be are flying someone infected with the Ebola virus to Atlanta from Liberia. The medical experts seem confident about their containment procedures but since the infected patient is also a medical expert who used containment procedures…

Hey, no need to worry – what could go wrong with federal bureaucrats in charge?

Obama defends polygamy. Never mind that women were considered inheritable property and often described their inheritors as “terrorists who made life dreadful,” his father’s tribe in Kenya practiced polygamy and Barack The All Knowing says it was “empowering” for the women.

CNN anchor demonstrates liberal-style class and dignity. Which of course means no class and no dignity, whatsoever.

Naked man in West Virginia not charged by police. Just another happily married hillbilly couple – he was on a leash being led around by a fully clothed woman and police determined they were consenting adults.

12-year-old raped by stepfather since she was 10 taken to three different abortion clinics: Cleveland Surgi-Center, Planned Parenthood in Shaker Heights, and finally Preterm Abortion Clinic in Cleveland. Not one of them reported the situation to police so the stepfather kept raping her for another year. Forget about the War on Women – liberals are waging a war on little girls.

Chinese communists build running track with right-angle corners. “Painting right angles was faster than painting curves,” explained an official.

Obama nominates as new Religious Freedom Ambassador… a guy who doesn’t support religious freedom.

WAR: Turkey entering Gaza conflict on side of Hamas. These are the same people with whom Lurch negotiated his ill-fated and quickly rejected cease fire proposal. Abandoning any pretense of neutrality once the U.S. Secretary of State was out of earshot, Turkey officially approved the formation of “Freedom Flotilla II” to re-supply Hamas and plans to protect the flotilla with the Turkish Navy.

Muslim suicide bomber’s failure caused by bad personal hygiene. He wore his explosive underpants for two weeks straight and, as a result of the accumulated filth, the bomb’s “efficacy was degraded.”

Chinese river turns bright red. So far they don’t know the cause, but we have an educated guess.

Congressional staffers banned from Wikipedia for “disruptive editing.” One of their sophomoric too-much-time-on-their-hands revisions was to the biographical page of Donald Rumsfeld – they called him an “alien lizard who eats Mexican babies.”

Crash site mascara posted on Instagram. A separatist in eastern Ukraine was so proud of mascara looted recycled from the crash site of MH17, she posted a photo of herself wearing it, with the caption: “Mascara from Amsterdam; to be precise, from the field. Well, you understand.” Classy dame.

Another multi-million-dollar federal computer mess. The Social Security Administration, under acting-commissioner Carolyn Colvin, spent six years and $288 million installing a new computer system for disability claims, and it doesn’t work… which might make her upcoming confirmation hearings a bit awkward.