Author: J.P. Travis

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in Loch Ness… there’s another monster sighting. And no, this isn’t another Anthony Weiner story.

Too much like a joke to be real. So the leftwing Jewish mayor of one of the most corrupt cities in the world hires a comptroller with ties to the Muslim Brotherhood. (What could go wrong?) Then two years later when the guy is indicted for money laundering the Jewish mayor praises him for helping “reform government.” (You couldn’t write this stuff.)

France, Germany, the UK, and Obama decide Syria needs a serious response. Which means Obama will have the U.S. Navy fire off two or three hundred million dollars worth of cruise missiles while our allies stand around and look tough.

Colin Powell calls George Zimmerman verdict “questionable.” Instead of asking this ignorant blowhard questions about subjects for which he has no capability, we wish the media would ask him why, as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, he urged President G.H.W. Bush to end the Gulf War prematurely… possibly the biggest mistake in American military history.

How whorish did Miley Cyrus act at the MTV Video Music Awards? Answer: look at the faces of the Will Smith family (especially the two kids) or ponder the fact that she made Lady Gaga look like Mother Theresa.

Ron Paul to speak at anti-Semitic Holocaust-denying conference. The former congresscritter will be the keynote speaker. The speech is scheduled for 9/11. Hey, at least he’s keeping busy – some people have no passions or hobbies to keep them active and alive after they retire.

The curious case of the DC voter named Barry Soetoro… who lives at the White House. The DC Board of Elections denied a FOIA request for information on this voter who not only shares a name and address with the president, but also claims the same birthday.

Gallup showing gigantic jump in the unemployment rate. From 7.7% to 8.9% in 30 days. Obama’s five-year effort to artificially inflate job numbers might be running out of steam.

Detroit going to the dogs… literally. There are an estimated 50,000 homeless dogs roaming the city in packs, attacking people, interrupting mail service, and no doubt turning all the squirrels into nervous wrecks.

Bradley Manning wants to live as a woman now. Everybody is supposed to call him “Chelsea” and his lawyer wants the prison at Fort Leavenworth to pay his sex change expenses. No big deal. The other inmates will probably take care of it for free.

Oregon to “rehabilitate” businesses opposed to gay marriage. See, they don’t want to destroy you. They simply want your thoughts conforming to what the gay mafia deems acceptable. Denounce your former beliefs and they will leave you be. They aren’t evil people, don’t you get it? They’re people involved in a revolution – a Cultural Revolution.

Million Muslim March versus 2 Million Bikers to DC. This should be interesting. A Facebook page is suggesting American bikers ride to Washington, D.C., on 9/11 to greet the Muslims and make them feel welcome.

Early hatchet job suggests Ted Cruz might be a contender. Given how difficult it is for the brainless nitwits at The Daily Beast to string coherent words together, the fact that one of them wasted precious grey matter on this particularly juvenile attack piece – Cruz wore a paisley robe in college! Egad! – means the senator from Texas scares them poopless.

Clinton Foundation spent $50 million on travel expenses. Is this really a charity, then, or a giant slush fund for Bill’s never ending good times tour? Answer: it depends on the meaning of “is.”

Nannyism epidemic crosses the Hudson River. New Jersey Governor Chris Christie signed into law today a bill banning conversion therapy for gay teenagers who want to be straight. Big Nanny (Bloomberg will henceforth be known as Little Nanny) said during the signing ceremony that people are born gay and homosexuality is not a sin… apparently Barack Obama whispered that info into his ear.

Impeach Obama protestors arrested for… well, just because. Now we know where that rodeo clown went after he was banned for life. His name is Jenkins and he’s working for the Missouri Highway Patrol.

City of Detroit opens a new water park… with no water in it. The ancient water main leading to the park burst so they held the grand opening with no water. It’s already the middle of August – when will they get water for the water park? October? More importantly: why is a bankrupt city going into the water park business?

In the Common Core curriculum that answer is okay. As long as a kid can explain how he got there, they don’t care whether his final answer makes a lick of sense. It’s about appearing to make an effort and having your heart in the right place. So pretty soon all our kids will be liberals.

Chinese zoo caught passing off a dog as a lion. The jig was up when the lion started barking. This is why we don’t buy anything that says, “Made in China” – if they will charge admission to see a Tibetan Mastiff in a lion cage, can you really trust their farm-raised catfish?

What’s more fun than looking at old Global Warming predictions? This one is from 2007, predicting summer Arctic sea ice would be gone by 2013. Al Gore cited this study in his Nobel Prize acceptance speech. And that picture above? That’s Arctic sea ice last week… with the earliest re-freeze in recorded history suggesting summer is over.

Fifty-year increase in Canadian taxes = 1,787%. When you see it in black and white like this, it shocks you.

Weiner dipping into the office pool? The more we learn about this guy, the skeevier he gets.

Shades of Jimmy Carter. Carter installed solar panels at the White House. Reagan tore the useless-though-expensive eyesores down. Now Barack Obama, determined to make his reign as president more hapless and futile than Carter’s, will be reinstalling solar panels atop the White House. Oh, what better friend could an Arabian oil potentate have!

National debt remains exactly the same for three months. Strangely, this is happening even though the federal government continues to run deficits. The current official debt of $16,699,396,000,000 is just $25 million less than the legal limit, so it’s a fortuitous statistical anomaly indeed. Cynical louts might suspect the U.S. Treasury of lying, but here at IHTM we trust our government implicitly.

Iranian politician ruled too pretty to hold office. We have the same problem here in the U.S. with Hillary Clinton. Only the opposite.