Maybe this is all BS, but turd-burgers seem no more absurd than a good bit of what the eco-wackos have tried to feed us over the years.
Let’s go to Inhabitat.com for the straight poop:
The meatpacking industry causes 18 percent of our greenhouse gas emissions, mostly due to the release of methane from animals. The livestock industry also consumes huge amounts of feed and water in relation to the amount of meat that it yields, and many find the industry to be inhumane and cruel to animals. These factors alone are reason enough for vegetarians to replace their meat intake with vegetable proteins and legumes. But Ikeda, a scientist at the Environmental Assessment Center in Okayama, sought to further the field of alternative proteins by recycling a form of protein-rich waste: sewage mud.
Unfortunately, the term “sewage mud” is a polite euphemism for exactly what you think it is – poop. Scientist Mitsuyuki Ikeda’s extracts the protein and lipids from the euphemistic mud and then combines it with a “reaction enhancer”. We’re not sure what a reaction enhancer is, but we assume it enhances the reaction from “Yuck” to “Mmmmm.” The whole conglomeration is then whipped into “meat”. (This is, thanks to Anthony Weiner, the only time in the last two weeks that the words whip and meat have been used in a sentence that didn’t evoke gales of laughter.) Finally, Ikeda attemps to improve the taste of his product by adding soya and steak sauce. Lots and lots of soya and steak sauce.
Make no mistake about it, this may be crap, but it ain’t cheap crap. Ikeda’s poop burgers may be 10-20 times more expensive than regular meat, but he thinks the prices will even out as time goes on.
Take your choice of closing lines:
Ikeda Beef: It’s what’s for dinner . . . last night.
or
Two words: Soylent Brown.
or
Big deal. If we’re not mistaken, McDonald’s has been serving this for years.
– Written by Kip Hooker @ TheVitaminPress.com
Source: Inhabitant.com
This post was last modified on January 26, 2021
View Comments (51)
Soylent Brown is poopie!!!
LOLOLOL!!!! :-)
I'm confused. Didn't our president already invent the shit sandwich?
Yeah, and he and his family can live on them after we throw him and them to the curb come November 2012!
Our president IS a shit sandwich.
90% lean means more shit, 80% leans means a lesser amount of shit, 70% lean is even less shit. Anybody for a "Chocolate" smoothie? How about Corn Shitter Fritters?
I ponder the question- "Where's the beef?"
USDA Prime shit is better than Choice shit and Select shit is even less desirable, or do I have my shit grades all mixed up? This could really mess with minds in medical marijuana states unless a 'bag of the good shit' is no longer proper nomenclature for an ounce of 'dro... Oh well, I've got another reason to avoid sliders now, besides the intestinal distress they've been causing me. Food Grade Shit.
"USDA Prime shit is better than Choice shit and Select shit is even less desirable, or do I have my shit grades all mixed up?..."
You forgot the best grade of all..."Utility Grade".
I think they make dog food out of that...seriously. I've only seen it once in my life, but I do know where it is sold (far, far away from me!) October through April. Tough stuff, literally.
I wonder if they'll have different flavors? Like Dogturdburgers for meat eaters and Cowturdburgers for vegetarians?
In a symbolic sort-a-way , this reminds me of almost every liberal policy. On the surface , their policies seem well meaning but once the details come forth , it the same worthless results .
Crap for values , crap for ethics , crap for..... , hence crap for final results.
I once read this on another site . " Only a liberal can believe that you can pick up a turd by the clean end. " ---- How would you like your burger today , crappy side up or crappy side down ? Its all good !!!
You can now get Pee Pee Water to go with it.... http://goo.gl/dKHfv
Well I can see the administration inviting this guy to America to open a chain of "Turd-Burger" restaurants....Then they could claim another 50,000 jobs created.....
I can't wait to see what they do with hot dogs (not).
"I can’t wait to see what they do with hot dogs (not)."
Yeah, reading 'The Jungle' back in high school was enough to kill off my appetite for hot dogs, although I just found out my g-grandfather probably experienced exactly that as a butcher in the Chicago stockyards when he came to America at the turn of the century. Yikes.