Obama brings his fat, stupid daughter into the Gulf oil controversy

Hey, don’t blame us for calling the kids fat and stupid. We’re just repeating what the President and First Lady said.

It’s amazing how this guy – the president, that is – tells the media that his daughters are off limits until he needs to use them as foils in a story meant to capture the media’s collective hearts.

First, during her war on childhood obesity, Michelle announced that the Obama family doctor advised her that the girls are a bit too plump and should lay off the sweets.

Then the President announced that Malia wasn’t studying hard enough and that her grades sucked.

But the President’s latest invocation of his children’s names was inspired by the oil blowout in the Gulf. It’s a bittersweet, but totally unbelievable story of childhood innocence lost.

“When I woke up this morning and I’m shaving, and Malia knocks on my bathroom door and she says — did you plug the hole yet Daddy?” the President said, noting that this is one of the reasons he is consumed by thoughts of the spill.

And then, we imagine, just as the President was wiping the last of the shaving cream off his ruggedly handsome, chiseled face, Malia said, “Daddy, what do you think we should do about Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the proliteration of nuclear weapons? And what about that Arizona illegal alien law? Have you instructed the attorney general to fight it in court? And do you think the Greek debt crisis will spill over to the rest of the G-20? Do you, daddy? Do you?”

Yeah, right.

The End.