Osama bin Laden “had stoned fantasies about marrying Whitney Houston and murdering Bobby Brown”

Osama bin Laden “had stoned fantasies about marrying Whitney Houston and murdering Bobby Brown.” So says Sudanese author Kola Boof, purportedly OBL’s mistress. And when he wasn’t fighting decadent Western culture, OBL filled his spare time with sex, smoking cannabis and dancing to pop groups like the B52s and Van Halen. Not to mention cognitive dissonance.

Bonfire of the Absurdities: After 35 year career writing software for IBM mainframes, am now self-employed contractor thinking of joining a union and striking for higher wages. Cured morbid fear of heights when I learned to look at them as lengths standing on end. Uncompromising in refusal to accept browser cookies. Amateur investor who has accumulated a small fortune in the market after starting out years ago with a large one. For recreation, I run, hike, kayak and play tennis but will not consider synchronized swimming under any circumstances.

View Comments (11)

  • Are you sure this wasn't a typo?
    Maybe he actually wanted to murder Whitney Houston and marry Bobby Brown.

  • Kola Boof? I thought that's what he wanted to do to Whitney. As in, "I'd like to Kola Boof her all night long." However, my Sudanese is a little rusty and I may be wrong.

  • From what I've been hearing about the late Ms. Houston, all Bin Laden needed to do was offer her some chemical amusements, and he would have been in like Flynn.

    • Ol' binny made millions everyday on the heroin trade. Most of the junkies in America get their smack from taliban and other operations from Paki and most of the other 'stans. Somebody else is pulling the money now.

  • Cognitive dissonance? I thought that required a soul. I guess ol' been Leaden would've made a great professor at CCNY, Columbia, Colorado, Berkeley, Wisconsin, Oregon...