I HATE THE MEDIA ™

Obama suddenly remembers playing football and getting concussions. We finally have an explanation for the Obama presidency: brain damage.

State Dept: You know, President Obama just doesn’t give himself enough credit on foreign policy. Can’t decide which is funnier: the concept of Obama “not giving himself enough credit” for anything or the idea that there’s something he deserves credit for on foreign policy. Even NBC News, which has spent most of its time in Obama’s pants pocket the past 5 years, couldn’t swallow the latter.

While TV networks talk about melting Antarctic ice causing sea levels to rise… the IPCC’s official report says the Antarctic will continue to add ice and thereby contribute to a lowering of sea level.

Q1 GDP revised DOWNWARD to -1%. Unexpectedly, of course. The media cheerleaders were out in force: CNN: no big deal. Reuters: it was due to that coooold weather. Lucky Democrat Obama is president or old people, cats, dogs and children would be starving to death in the street right now.

Donald Trump offered Obama $50 million for his birth certificate, passport and college records. Right before the 2012 election, he offered the president $5 million, then raised the offer to $50 million – payable to whatever Chicago charity Obama preferred. Not only did Obama ignore The Donald’s offer, so did the media.

Melissa Harris-Perry equates NBA with slavery. Sure, every day the NBA comes up to some poor fellow and says “sink baskets for millions of dollars a year plus millions more in endorsements or else!” Those poor souls would much rather be talking to themselves in front of MSNBC’s cameras next to MH-P, right?

CNN Anchor: Michelle Obama Signed a Bill Into Law. Yes and we wonder if you believe that 1 + 1 = Potato?

First lady: Rolling back school lunch standards ‘unacceptable’: We don’t know where Michelle Obama developed this strange passion for starving kids but it is certainly better than her strange passion for aborting them.

Prince Charles: A “fundamental transformation of global capitalism” is needed in order to tackle climate change. Say, how about starting by ditching something that’s totally useless, contributes nothing to society, costs a lot and worsens our carbon footprint… such as royal families.

Politico: HRC’s new book has sold one million copies! She sold out of books almost as fast as she sold out her countrymen in Benghazi.

Has Mark Zuckerberg’s $100 million gift to Newark public schools gone down the drain? “… four years later, Zuckerberg’s money has run out, having been spent mostly on labor contracts and consulting fees with no noticeable improvement in student performance…” Kinda like dumping $100 million worth of chum into the shark tank. Thanks for the donation, sucker.

White House blew the cover of the top CIA agent in Afghanistan. “…the person’s name was included on a list given to reporters during a visit to the country by President Barack Obama. … The agent in question, listed as chief of station, would be a top manager of CIA activity in Afghanistan.” #LikeABumblingOx

An IHTM Salute to Our Veterans. We at IHTM thank you. Because of you we have the freedom to write here.

Man killed wife for making vegetarian dinner: prosecutors. “A Pakistani immigrant beat his wife to death in their Brooklyn home after she made the mistake of cooking him lentils for dinner instead of the hearty meal of goat meat that he craved, according to court papers.” (Please accept our apologies in advance for the following:) Guess you could say she got his goat.

VA FALLOUT: BOSTON GLOBE, LA TIMES DECLARE OBAMA INCOMPETENT. They too must be incompetent. It only took them over 5 years to figure out Obama’s more interested in golf and vacations than being President.

Democrats privately calling Obama “detached,” “flat footed,” “incompetent”. If a Kleptocrat tells the truth, is it still racism?

HHS quietly stops issuing Obamacare enrollment numbers. Gee, it’s almost like there’s something they don’t want people to know, until after the midterm elections.

Hey, mosquitos have rights, too! In Colorado, the Boulder County Planning Commission decided that nature’s critters have legal rights just like people. Presumably that includes bugs, weeds, bacteria…

John Kerry gets the facts wrong about Nigeria… one day after getting the facts wrong about global warming.

Barack Obama to resign over anti-gay marriage stance? “Barack Obama made a public declaration against gay marriage when running for president in 2008. Since other figures have been pressured to resign, or lost jobs, for past statements on gay marriage, should not Barack Obama be forced to resign for doing the very same thing?” Why, yes… yes he should.

Alternative energy breakthrough. Liberals will fit right in with this crowd, especially the Planned Parenthood crowd.

#LikeABoss: Democrats’ ridiculous Bossy bumper sticker just begs to be photoshopped. #LikeABust #LikeABoob #LikeABuffoon , etc, etc.

Where is Michelle Obama’s Hashtag for Meriam Ibrahim? (She’s Pregnant and Sentenced to Die): Right next to her conscience.

Naked Man Storms White House Security Checkpoint: Finally some transparency at the White House.

France buys fleet of new trains that are too fat to fit into stations. Someone tell them Michelle Obama has a school lunch program that will fix this problem.