School offers counseling for students troubled by pastry-gun incident

School offers counseling for students troubled by pastry-gun incident. What’s really needed is counseling for parents troubled by having to send their kids to increasingly expensive schools run by blithering idiots where their kids don’t learn anything except that they shouldn’t make pretend guns out of pop tarts.

Bonfire of the Absurdities: After 35 year career writing software for IBM mainframes, am now self-employed contractor thinking of joining a union and striking for higher wages. Cured morbid fear of heights when I learned to look at them as lengths standing on end. Uncompromising in refusal to accept browser cookies. Amateur investor who has accumulated a small fortune in the market after starting out years ago with a large one. For recreation, I run, hike, kayak and play tennis but will not consider synchronized swimming under any circumstances.

View Comments (22)

  • Another we must make sure that people aren't offended and scared. This is one more step to turning everyone into cowards and chicken shits.

  • This just in: the English language is banning the upper case "L". Too many students are traumatized by having to use this offensive and very scary letter. Mental health professionals and reading teachers will be available to coach affected children on how to avoid writing the words "Love", "London", "Lion", and so many other offensive scribblings so as to avoid future suffering.

  • I just found a Massachusetts quarter and there is a terrorist with an assault weapon on the back . I'm scared to go to my grocery store and buy my pop tarts or my beer or my bank as I might get one of these in change and I'm not sure what will happen . I'm that damm stupid .

    Please help --- Stupid and laying on my sofa

    • I think if they would have the kids eat the "gun", it would teach them to not fear guns.

  • Yea I need counseling...Since this happened I have been up all night in fear of assault Pop Tarts.....especially the brown sugar ones.....

  • This school's administrators need some serious counseling for their cranial-rectal inversion.

  • Hey Don't Make Fun Of Teachers! Were else can you make $60,000 or more a year with 3 months off, Union and only teach 5 1/2 hrs. a day ( after that it is overtime) and still strike for more money? Oh and they do have to pay $80 a Month for Medical. What is Wrong with you People!

  • At least he didn't whip out his twinkie and squeeze out the oozing white filling. On second thought, if he'd done that they might have hired him as a teacher's aide.