We’re all guilty of saying some stupid things when we’re unexpectedly put on the spot. But the next time Raymond Roberts is arrested, he may want to think his alibi through a little more thoroughly than he did this time:
A Florida man arrested Wednesday on drug charges told cops that a bag of cocaine found hidden inside his buttocks did not belong to him. Though the suspect did cop to ownership of a bag of marijuana hidden alongside the coke.
The narcotics were discovered by Manatee County Sheriff’s Office deputies after Raymond Roberts’s Hyundai was pulled over on a Bradenton street for speeding Wednesday morning. Investigators, who reported smelling a strong odor of marijuana emanating from the vehicle, subsequently searched the 25-year-old Roberts and discovered his hidden stash.
… Roberts quickly disavowed ownership of the cocaine. “The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is,” he claimed, adding that the crack in his crack was the property of a friend who had previously borrowed the car and left the drug on the passenger seat. Roberts explained that when he was pulled over for speeding, he concealed the second bag of narcotics.
IHTM’s editor is not embarrassed to admit that Cops is his favorite TV show. And one of his all-time favorite episodes is the one where the police find drugs in a suspect’s pockets while frisking him. The suspect’s response? “These aren’t my pants.”
We didn’t think any suspect could top that line, but Mr. Roberts seems to have proven us wrong.
H/T: TheSmokingGun.com
View Comments (11)
Kudos to the copper copping the coke in the crack!
To quote: "Why do you think they call it dope, dope?"
I saw this in the paper here last week. I'm close to the locale. Laughed so hard I thought my crack fall off. He said 'the green shiss mine butt the white shiss snot.'
Sphincter says "what"?
Hell, now he's qualified to be Mayor of Washington D.C.
I think he's maybe related to that guy that told the paramedics that he was "showering along, minding (his) own business, when (he) slipped, fell, and sat on a greased lemon."
It is nice to see the Manatee Sheriff's Deputies get to the seat of the problem in the nick of time!
Yeah, but I bet they will be cracking jokes for many moons.
Very cheesy humor going on here. Do you really think this guy wants to be the butt of jokes for years to come?
Oh my, top marks for originality buddy! Ha ha ha.... how about we legalise pot and crack so these poor Obama voters aren't harassed constantly? He's only self medicating because Obamacare hasn't kicked in for him yet.
And to balance things in society we can ban hamburgers and sodas.
That "cracks" me up. Is he following Obama, denying the "white" in him?