Suspect in Mall of America stabbing identified. Yes, you guessed, probably as soon as you saw the word stabbing. It’s Mahad Abdiaziz Abdirahaman. No doubt a religion of pieces member. The PD is claiming it was a robbery, and perhaps it was, but it’s still a terror attack in our book.
Illinois man reportedly shoots his own penis after stealing from a hot dog stand. Yes, it’s another case of instant karma. The man’s new gang name is Vienna Cocktail Sausage.
Starbucks armed robber plans to SUE a Good Samaritan customer for using ‘excessive force’ after he beat him with a chair to subdue him. We thought we’d put his photo up so everyone can see what a total loser looks like.
Genius Crooks of the Month. We don’t think anybody’s going to beat this bunch. How stupid do you have to be to rob a gun store that’s about 100 yards from the police department? Can you say duh?
Police: Loop convenience store robbed 5 times in 1 week. Chicago is so bad being a robber is now considered full-time employment. The robberies occurred on 3:37 AM Dec. 23, 2:21 AM Dec. 24, 1:32 AM Dec. 25, 2:20 AM Dec. 28 and 1:35 AM Dec. 30.
