He grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.
He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear.
“Just relax.”
Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn’t care. His touch was so experienced, so sure.
When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply. Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties.
Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking ‘no’ for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say …
“Okay, ma’am,” said a voice. “All done.”
My eyes snapped open and he was standing in front of me, smiling, holding out my purse. “You can board your flight now.”
As he guided me out of the room and into the terminal, he said, “You might want to consider the full-body scann next time. It’s much quicker.”
I smiled inwardly as I walked down the aisle. Not bloody likely, I thought, not bloody likely.
Is it just us or do all these descriptions of enhanced pat downs sound like they come from a novel with Fabio on the cover?
– Written by Rich Albeen
This post was last modified on November 22, 2010
View Comments (20)
I know we like to make friggin jokes about this crap, but it's not funny. The more we kowtow to these marxists then more they will make this a part of our daily lives. These bastards aren't going to stop until there's a pat-down/full body scanner on every street corner. If all we do is make jokes about this sh*t in the vane hope it'll go away and do nothing but wait for the republicans to get to congress in January and save our asses, I think we will be disappointed. I personally don't believe that the new conservative republicans will be given any leeway. I'm pretty sure Boehner and McConnel will tie their hands behind their backs and go right on ahead being the limp-dicked losers they've been up to this point. I guess I'm just cynical.
DONT FLY , DONT BUY , DONT COMPLY
I'll be doing some work on the left coast, in the near future, and when I'm done I'll be flying out of San Diego... so I'm gonna have to bring some special "feel me up" clothes for those dudes...
Of course, with the sh!t storm brewing already, things may change by then. Who knows?
"Fabio"
Who?
WAIT! Google is my friend!
From Wikipedia: "an Italian male fashion model and actor who appeared on the cover of hundreds of romance novels throughout the 1980s and 1990s"
OK...
Yeah, I've never heard of him..
really? he was like uber famous for the beginning of the 90's for a while i didnt know why exactly i just thought he was a model and then he did some stupid movies and then I figure out it was because of the romance novels... he was in an episode of American's Top Model one season too with the models. there was this one time he got hit on the face by a flying goose while he was in a roller coaster... all bloodyit was a bit funny.
Another one of our freedoms has been removed by that b@st@rd Obomie-the-commie.
Very Funny... I thought it was about premature ejaculation at first...
This was hilarious!
Does anybody else think that some of these stories might be a gross exaggeration? I really have a hard time swallowing the fact that TSA officers are going around willy-nilly groping people in the name of national security. But I could be wrong. I haven't flown in a while so I don't really know whats going on at the airports.
NO! Have you flown in the last 6 months? The only difference now is that the cattle have to choose between grope or body scanner (where the operator can see through your clothes but not skin). Previously, they just did it to someone they didn't like or the hot chicks but called it "random"
I used to take my time after security to watch all the hotties. I observed a far disproportionate number going to the scanner. Too bad my local airport has one-way glass around the operator kiosk so us rubes can't see the goodies.
haha ok ok, no need for all the thumbs down. I was merely asking a question. Its been a few years since I have had the need to fly so I am not up to date with all the happenings. I didn't realize it was that bad. Sounds to me like it is getting quite out of hand....
TSA logo suggestions.
- Want to see London? Want to see France? Not until we see your underpants.
- Don't worry, my hands are still warm from the last guy.
- We've handled more balls than Barney Frank and more packages than UPS.
- It's not a grope it's a freedom pat.
- We are now free to move about your pants
- If we did our job any better we'd have to buy you dinner first.
- You were a virgin.
You want REAL airplane security? Give everyone on board a .45 Colt.
Well, maybe not EVERYONE.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLjNJI54GMM