Most details of the latest IG audit, released Sept. 27, are classified, but media reports indicate that TSA failed somewhere between 70 percent and 80 percent of covert tests, allowing fake explosives, firearms and other prohibited items to slip through undetected. That’s only slightly better than the 95 percent failure rate that TSA suffered in its 2015 audit by the IG.
Video Shows TSA Agent Pat Down 10-Year-Old Girl ‘Over and Over.’ We would not have watched this. We would have raised holy hell and everyone in the airport would have heard it. This TSA agent should be arrested for sexual assault and everything else they can charge her with.
Thank you, TSA! Thank you for protecting us from our right to be secure from unreasonable searches and seizures!
There are many thankless professions across this nation but perhaps none so under appreciated as the good old TSA.
Just like how no one ever wants the police around until they need them, no one ever wants the TSA around until grandma has gone to long without a public molesting.
We think this is Aaron Tobey, but it may be an ad for Abercrombie & Fitch. Tough to tell.
And what do they get for their tireless service? They get sued that’s what!
The Richmond Times Dispatch dispatches this in a timely manner:
Authorities involved in the arrest of a protester who removed his shirt and pants at a security checkpoint at Richmond International Airport were doing their jobs and acted appropriately, a government attorney argued Wednesday in Richmond federal court.
Carlotta P. Wells, an attorney for the U.S. Department of Justice, argued in favor of a motion to dismiss Aaron B. Tobey’s lawsuit, which claims his constitutional rights were violated. Wells said Tobey had made his point by removing his shirt to display words from the Fourth Amendment written on his torso but went too far when he disobeyed a command to pass through a security scanner.
But Anand Agneshwar, an attorney representing Tobey in his lawsuit against airport and federal officials, said the 21-year-old Charlottesville man obeyed the commands of authorities. Agneshwar said it was the authorities who went too far by detaining Tobey for 90 minutes or longer with his hands cuffed behind his back.
Well, if the vast majority of the public won’t say it we certainly will. Thank you, TSA! Thank you for protecting us from our right to be secure from unreasonable searches and seizures! Thank you so very much.
So it’s either an invasion or your privacy or an invasion of your privates. According to Judge Douglas Ginsburg this excellent choice is all yours.
We can just imagine it. James Madison slipping into bed after a harrowing day of Constitution construction and dreaming happy dreams of the future republic in which agents of the state had the authority to force citizens to expose their genitals to their photographic devices.
Ridiculous you say. Madison knew nothing of modern imaging techniques. True enough. But such reasoning wasn’t enough to dissuade the DC Circuit Court from ruling that such was the founder’s intent.
Even those big ass glasses didn't stop Ginsburg from making a myopic decision
In the opinion from the D.C. Circuit Court, Judge Douglas Ginsburg writes that the advance imaging technology is not unreasonable given the security concerns on airplanes, and that people have the option to opt out for a pleasurable patdown. The court notes that some “have complained that the resulting patdown was unnecessarily aggressive,” but the judges don’t seem overly concerned about that. Ginsburg writes:
“On the other side of the balance, we must acknowledge the steps the TSA has already taken to protect passenger privacy, in particular distorting the image created using AIT and deleting it as soon as the passenger has been cleared. More telling, any passenger may opt-out of AIT screening in favor of a patdown, which allows him to decide which of the two options for detecting a concealed, nonmetallic weapon or explosive is least invasive.”
So it’s either an invasion or your privacy or an invasion of your privates. According to Judge Douglas Ginsburg this excellent choice is all yours.
We’ve all heard the term “hiding in plain sight.” Turns out there’s no need to go to that much trouble when the TSA’s gropers and x-ray voyeurs are on the job.
We’ve all heard the term “hiding in plain sight.” Turns out there’s no need to go to that much trouble when the TSA’s gropers and x-ray voyeurs are on the job.
"No reason to check you, Mr. Noibi. Go right ahead and board the flight for which you're not ticketed."
ABC News explains why:
A foreign national who flew from New York to Los Angeles last week with a stolen boarding pass and ID card has been arrested at Los Angeles International Airport, according to federal authorities.
Olajide Oluwaseun Noibi, a Nigerian-born man who was found with the stolen ID and up to 10 old boarding passes containing various names, was arrested Wednesday after attempting to board a flight from Los Angeles to Atlanta; five days after passing through layers of airport security at New York’s JFK airport to board a plane with a day-old boarding pass.
Noibi managed to get through every layer of security with a fake ID and numerous boarding passes, at least one of which came from another passenger’s pocket, ABC News has learned.
TSA would’ve spotted the guy if he were disguised as a 3 year old girl or a 95-year-old woman in a wheelchair, but this leads us to suspect the surest way for a man-caused disaster maker to avoid detection would be to disguise himself as a man-caused disaster maker.
No harm, no foul. The system still works, correct?
Of course, Noibi may really be a scout, scoping out the weak spots for the guys with the bombs. Time will tell.
But if any toddlers or handicapped women try to pull anything, TSA will be waiting for them.
Rand Paul racked up another one for his highlight reel when TSA Chief John Pistole appeared before the U.S. Senate. Paul looked him in the eye and told him what we’d all like to tell him:
Rand Paul racked up another one for his highlight reel when TSA Chief John Pistole appeared before the U.S. Senate.
Paul looked him in the eye and told him what we’d all like to tell him:
It makes me think you’re clueless, if you think she (a 6-year old) is going to attack our country and you’re not doing your research on the people who want to attack our country.
Myself and a lot of other Americans think you’ve gone overboard and you’re missing the boat on terrorism because you’re doing invasive searches on 6-year-old girls.
Of course, this concept makes liberal heads explode because it’s not politically correct.
In Liberalville, 6-year old girls from Muncie, Indiana are more likely to hijack airplanes than nervous 25-year old Muslim men who pray to Mecca just before take-off.
Good News! The TSA will soon be investigating the racial profiling of Mexicans and Haitians at an airport in New Jersey.
Good news. While the government might not be able to do anything about the TSA’s seemingly insatiable desire to grope your children, they will soon be investigating the racial profiling of Mexicans and Haitians at an airport in New Jersey.
Never mind that neither Haitian nor Mexican is a race. At least not if you have any plans on flying anywhere in the near future and don’t want the rubber-gloved hand of national security treating you literally the way Obama is treating you figuratively.
The rubber-gloved tyranny of the TSA
NJ.com puts their finger on it for us:
The Republican chairman and ranking Democrat on the House Homeland Security Committee said they want the head of the Transportation Security Administration to explain how racial profiling became a common practice among TSA screeners at Newark Liberty International Airport.
Rep. Peter King (R-N.Y.) and Rep. Bennie Thompson (D-Miss) are both seeking answers from TSA Administrator John Pistole, after a federal report found several behavior detection officers, or BDOs, had singled out Mexican and Dominican passengers for special scrutiny, bag searches, questioning and document reviews in 2008 and 2009.
It is our sincere hope that these matters can be dealt with quickly and effectively so that the TSA can get back to the important work of molesting your grandmother.
Homeland Security is keeping us safe 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 364 days a year. With that in mind, here are some photos of TSA agents on Day 365.
Uh-oh. Joe Biden has some unexpected competition for dumbest member of the Obama administration. Mediaite.com has the dumb details:
On ABC’s World News tonight, Diane Sawyer sat down with Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano to talk about the possibility of a terror attack over the holidays.
And Napolitano, doing her best to keep us all feeling cozy and warm, said it’s almost a year-round operation:
“What I say to the American people is that… thousands of people are working 24/7, 364 days a year to keep the American people safe.”
Got that? Homeland Security is keeping us safe 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 364 days a year. With that in mind, here are some photos of TSA agents on Day 365.
Oddly enough, you get felt up when the TSA pats you down. Felt up like you were in the back seat of a 1965 Chevy Malibu in the back row at the drive-in theater. Felt up by some guy who now wants to be a union goon.
Oddly enough, you get felt up when the TSA pats you down. Felt up like you were in the back seat of a 1965 Chevy Malibu in the back row at the drive-in theater. Felt up by some guy who now wants to be a union goon. Felt up like you’re getting a happy ending massage except it’s the TSA agent who gets the happy ending. Felt up like you haven’t been felt up since your last prostate exam. Felt up in a way where “no” is supposed to mean “no,” but “no” is not an acceptable answer.
Those may not have been Muslim Asra Nomani’s exact words, but we’re pretty sure that’s the gist of it. She tells CNN that airport security seems designed to offend everyone equally rather than to nab actual terrorists.
Those may not have been Asra Nomani’s exact words, but we’re pretty sure that’s the gist of it.
A contributor to The Daily Beast, she tells CNN that airport security seems designed to offend everyone equally rather than to nab actual terrorists.
Nomani, a Muslim, says profiling should be at the heart of our security efforts. It makes much more sense, she says, to look for realistic threats and to allocate our resources accordingly. She notes that profiling works well in other security efforts – in the war on drugs, for example, Colombians are watched far more closely than, say, Belgians.
Asra, honey, how long have you been in this country? Have you ever watched CNN? Have you ever read the Daily Beast?
Keep up this kind of talk and Muslims will accuse you of blasphemy. Liberals will accuse you of heresy. And the TSA will accuse you of violating their right to frisk nuns.
Now you can detect terrorists as they walk down the street. Is that nun carrying dangerous explosives? Is that grandmother packing heat? Is that toddler really a junior jihadist hellbent on hooking up with 99 virgins? And va-va-voom! How about those hooters on the girl next door!
Now you can detect terrorists as they walk down the street. Is that nun carrying dangerous explosives? Is that grandmother packing heat? Is that toddler really a junior jihadist hellbent on hooking up with 99 virgins? And va-va-voom! How about those hooters on the girl next door!
Become a terrorism vigilante with your own pair of TSA X-ray glasses. Available now exclusively from IHateTheMedia.com.
Good god, man, will someone please shut down this WikiLeaks thing before they team up with the TSA. It’s one thing if they leak enhanced X-rays of Sarah Palin or Nikki Haley or Megan Kelly, but do you really want to see Barney Frank in the buff?
Good god, man, will someone please shut down this WikiLeaks thing before they team up with the TSA.
We’d say the odds are pretty good that WikiLeaks will eventually run out of top secret documents and team up with some rogue TSA agent to release millions of x-rays showing intimate details of your, shall we say, carry on baggage.
It’s one thing if they leak enhanced X-rays of Sarah Palin or Nikki Haley or Megan Kelly, but do you really want to see Barney Frank in the buff?
In this clip, The View’s Whoopi Goldberg tells Fox News’ Mike Huckabee that the times in which we live warrant the “police state” security measures we now face at airports across the nation.
Whoopie Goldberg meets Mike Huckabee. What could go wrong?
In this clip, The View’s Whoopi Goldberg tells Fox News’ Mike Huckabee that the times in which we live warrant the “police state” security measures we now face at airports across the nation.
“No, it’s not comfortable and it’s not the way I would like to live,” Goldberg said, “but if it’s going to keep me from getting blown out of the sky, you can check anything you want. And if you feel something you like and squeeze it, what am I going to do?”
Suddenly, we’re viewing this thing from a completely different perspective.
Any TSA agent who has to feel Whoopi Goldberg’s nether regions deserves hazard pay, not condemnation.
This official 2011 TSA Pin-Up calendar features 12 stunning beauties who are sure to stimulate your own personal enhanced pat downs every month. Each month features a new, hot and steamy body scan of one of our favorite flyers.
This official 2011 TSA Pin-Up calendar features 12 stunning beauties who are sure to stimulate your own personal enhanced pat downs every month. Each month features a new, hot and steamy body scan of one of the TSA’s favorite flyers.
And don’t forget – the official 2011 TSA Pin-Up Calendar makes an excellent Christmas gift!
We don’t know where these photos came from. We got them in an email from someone we don’t know. If you did ’em and would like credit, let us know. We’ll be happy to oblige.
Miss January
TSA's Miss January is rated X as in X-ray. When she travels on business, the
pleasure is all ours.
“Just relax.” Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves slowly but steadily…
He grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.
He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear.
The Encounter, a tale of two strangers doing what strangers do in romance novels, coming soon to bookstores near you
“Just relax.”
Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn’t care. His touch was so experienced, so sure.
When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply. Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties.
Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking ‘no’ for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say …
“Okay, ma’am,” said a voice. “All done.”
My eyes snapped open and he was standing in front of me, smiling, holding out my purse. “You can board your flight now.”
As he guided me out of the room and into the terminal, he said, “You might want to consider the full-body scann next time. It’s much quicker.”
I smiled inwardly as I walked down the aisle. Not bloody likely, I thought, not bloody likely.
Is it just us or do all these descriptions of enhanced pat downs sound like they come from a novel with Fabio on the cover?
Good lord. We just realized this is Gloria Allred. Please poke out our eyes with an ice pick and put an armed guard on our penises.
Good lord. We just realized this is Gloria Allred. Please poke out our eyes with an ice pick and put an armed guard on our penises.
We sincerely hope none of you are desperate enough to even consider offering Gloria what she seems to be looking for in this video. C’mon, at this point even Gloria’s adult daughter is too old and too ugly to be worthy of cougarhood.
According to our friends over at iOwnTheWorld.com, lovely Fresno, California hosted the second annual California Cougar Convention last Saturday.
We just checked with Travelocity.com and it looks like there are about 20 flights a day between Los Angeles and Fresno. We don’t know for sure if Gloria attended the convention, but considering how much she seems to enjoy the TSA’s enhanced pat down, she may have flown up just to get felt up.
Ron Paul has had his best idea ever – the American Traveler Dignity Act: get rid of X-ray screenings and enhanced pat downs for airline travelers by forcing congress to experience the same sort of humiliation when they travel.
Ron Paul has had his best idea ever – the American Traveler Dignity Act.
His simple theory is that the best way to get rid of X-ray screenings and enhanced pat downs for airline travelers is to force congress to experience the same sort of humiliation when they travel.
We like the concept, but let’s get serious. Paul’s bill will get passed about the same time Congress starts using the same medical and retirement plans they force on the rest of us.
Let’s make this simple: Should you decide to opt out of the TSA’s new naked body scanners, get ready to get felt up like you’re in the back seat of a ’64 Chevy.
In this clip, talk show host Alex Jones discusses the invasive new “enhanced pat down techniques” brought to you by the TSA.
Let’s make this simple: Should you decide to opt out of the TSA’s new naked body scanners, get ready to get felt up like you’re in the back seat of a ’64 Chevy.
Can you imagine the din that would have arisen if Bush Director of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff had issued an order banning “controversial websites”?
Can you imagine the din that would have arisen if Bush Director of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff had issued an order banning “controversial websites”?
Yet that’s exactly what happened when Director of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano issued new censorship rules late on Friday afternoon, hoping her edict would slip through unnoticed over the long holiday weekend. Looks like that ploy didn’t work, Jan.
CBS News risks being banned, we assume, by reporting the news:
We're waiting for the ACLU to file suit against Janet Napolitano. Still waiting.
The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is blocking certain websites from the federal agency’s computers, including halting access by staffers to any Internet pages that contain a “controversial opinion,” according to an internal email obtained by CBS News.
The email was sent to all TSA employees from the Office of Information Technology on Friday afternoon.
It states that as of July 1, TSA employees will no longer be allowed to access five categories of websites that have been deemed “inappropriate for government access.”
Good god, man, will someone please shut down this WikiLeaks thing before they team up with the TSA.
